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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why people have such a hard time spelling names correctly

171 replies

emberflames · 08/03/2018 18:09

So my name is Bryony. the 2 most common ways to spell it are my way or Briony. I have my full name in my email address and of course always sign off with it but after 34 years it still amazes me how many people will respond with "hi Byrony/Bryany/bryoni" etc etc. I mean my name is right THERE on the email- twice !

My mum also has a name that can be spelt two ways and she constantly receives emails with it spelt wrong. Even some of her friends she's known for years don't get it right.

Another example is a Latvian lady I work with named Liisa. Of course we would naturally be inclined to spell it Lisa, but that's not her name. After 8 years of her working for the company so many people still get it wrong.

I really don't understand how this happens. I can understand a typo but when it happens over and over again I struggle to see how just looking at how the email was signed off or the name in the email is so difficult.

And I feel awful for my brother as we have a surname that's also a first name , and his first name can also be a surname. So he's constantly getting called by his surname. I know in the grand scheme of things it's a minor issue but it's just befuddling to me.

OP posts:
emberflames · 09/03/2018 14:58

AnotherLatvian 😂😂** well I know she grew up there! And she told me her mum is Estonian. Perhaps an Estonian name? Grin

OP posts:
optimuss · 09/03/2018 16:43

my name is Caitlin and even when its right there in work emails or even my email address for personal emails people still respond Caitlyn, over and over. It's almost as if they're trying to correct me, infuriating.

Absolutely fine if people aren't sure to begin with, but if they can see it! its silly

Asthenia · 09/03/2018 16:52

My name is Zoe and you would not believe the misspellings/pronunciations I get. Zoo, Joe, Zoi, Zoey, Zowie, Zee, Zo. Shocking considering it’s a 3 letter name that is used in many countries round the world!

CoffeeAndCupcakes85 · 10/03/2018 13:28

This is a new pet hate of mine! I never had this problem until I married DH and adopted his surname for 'family stuff'. It's a quirky surname and I've lost track of the number of people that say "is it ok if I just call you Mrs Taylor?" (Erm...fine...except that's not my name Hmm). Thankfully I still use my maiden name for most things.

I recently had a DD whose name can be spelled two ways (British vs American). I guessed that some people would spell it wrong if they hadn't been told the spelling, which is understandable, but SO MANY people have responded to our "Here's baby Phoebe" messages with "Congratulations on the birth of Pheebe" type messages. Arrrrggghh. Why? Just why? If you genuinely struggle to see letters (and I really don't think most of our friends do), then why not just copy and paste from our original message?

NinaMarieP · 10/03/2018 14:59

I think it is mostly laziness, it's unlikely that SO many people genuinely have an issue with reading/spelling/names.

I know a Grahame and a Graeme. A Siouxsie. A Ruaraidh. People called Jonnie, Derek, Greig, Csilla, Estrann... if I haven't written it often sometimes I'm not sure but I then take two seconds to check on Facebook etc to make sure I get it right.

lecossaise · 10/03/2018 15:23

I get IRRATIONALLY ANGRY when people respond to emails signed off with my surname which is very clearly Macsomething with "Dear Miss MacSomething". More common? Certainly. Traditionally accurate? Perhaps? My family's name? Not for the last five generations at least... It's even wrong on my degree certificate!

I forgive people for not knowing how to pronounce my surname (it's a very Gaelic 'something' in Macsomething), but I have had a lot of arguments about the pronunciation of my (also Gaelic but spelled the very simple anglicised way) first name - people (... English and American people, that is) insist on calling me the Irish version. I'll correct you twice and if you still aren't listening to me I'll just assume we're not going to be friends.

contrary13 · 10/03/2018 16:25

Perfectly

I hate to break it to you, but Tom can also be spelt Thom. I didn't know this until my daughter was a baby and one of our locum GPs was called Thom, so it's been around for at least 50 years as a spelling (given he was older than me, and she's now 22).

starzig · 10/03/2018 16:32

You can't really change the spelling or pronunciation of my name. So what do people do? They take it upon themselves to shorten it.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/03/2018 17:31

Oh fuck contrary, I officially give up.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/03/2018 17:34

Henry
Harry

SneakyGremlins · 10/03/2018 19:20

Henri

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/03/2018 19:25

What about Harry?

SneakyGremlins · 10/03/2018 20:08

Harreigh?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/03/2018 20:24

Only if they're thick or pretentious.

Bill?

PoodleJ · 10/03/2018 21:32

I guess you can waste a lot of energy being cross about it or just forgive them for not being able to spell.
I try my best to get stuff correct but really there are bigger things in the world to get hung up on. I had a unusual surname growing up and everyone spelled and pronounced in wrong. I then got married and had a more straightforward surname and people still get it wrong. I'm not bothered I have bigger stuff to worry about.
My great aunt spelled my name wrong for years and never got it right. She was still nice to me though!

MammaAgata · 10/03/2018 21:43

Just last week a colleague of mine emailed a client and referred to her 3 times as Tina, when her name is Toni. Her full name is part of her email address.. I had used her name many times and written in down in email correspondence with him. I couldn’t let it go so emailed the colleague and said by the way her name is Toni, he apologised, was a bit embarrassed etc.. so this week he emails her and refers to her as Tony... FFS. Confused

4GreenApples · 10/03/2018 23:36

What about Harry?

I’m sure I remember a recent baby names thread where the OP was trying to decide between calling her baby Harry or Harri.

MyNameIsntChole · 10/03/2018 23:52

YANBU
A certain friend of the family would always spell my name 'Chole'.

It's Chloe.

MyNameIsntChole · 10/03/2018 23:58

my daughter is a Phoebe and the Pheobe spelling gives me the rage! Even now at nearly 5 her auntie and cousins sometimes spell it wrong. It’s laziness

No it's actually quite difficult to spell. I am good at spelling but have to think carefully whether it's o before e or vice versa

I used to have issues with Phoebe, but whenever I come to write it, I say 'fo-eh-bee' in my head, which helps :)

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 11/03/2018 01:11

A radio station I was listening to was celebrating international womens day. Someone called up to say she took the first letter of every woman in her family. The poor kid was called Cahlah, pronounced 'Carla'

That poor child. A lifetime of annoyance.

DragonBones · 11/03/2018 01:34

With Phoebe I think it's because of the E sound. It sounds like Fee-Bee, so people put the E first.

DragonBones · 11/03/2018 01:39

Because you don't sound the O at all do you? Or am/have I been mispn it for years.
With how it's written it would be Fee-Ob-Ee, but it's not, it's pn Fee-Bee, so I get why people have trouble with it.

LimonViola · 11/03/2018 08:14

Yeah to be fair Phoebe isn't pronounced how it's written.

Niamh and Siobhan are similarly difficult if you don't already know.

stressedoutfred · 11/03/2018 08:17

My DS has a very traditional name but spelt the more unusual way- not made up but is more commonly used as a surname. He's always getting his name spelt wrong , most annoyingly by his school which I find really frustrating!

We have an unusual surname and are forever getting misspelt post or called a slight variation of it. Our surname is actually a word so I'm always baffled when people ask me to spell it!!

Peanutbuttercups21 · 11/03/2018 08:23

I am foreign, with a very hard to remember first name and totally unpronounceable surname, so I never expect people to remember my name.

Never see it as a personal slight. Most people actually make an effort to get it right and it's the effort that counts IMO

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