To be in constant sadness because I'm obese

[Busybusybee1]

I was always a normal weight and loved outdoor activities. After having my son I got terrible postnatal depression and was put on sertraline. Within 6 months I had gone from 11 stone to almost 16 stone! I had to come off the sertraline but thankfully my PND went.

I made sure to eat healthily and waited to return to my previous weight. I lost a stone. Then no more. I'm 5ft6 and 15 stone. I'm obese. I have had to stop a lot of my outdoor activities I used to enjoy as I don't have the physical ability to do them. My joints hurt and I'm tired all the time. Even walking can be a struggle. I've no idea why but nothing has shifted the weight.

I used to be attractive. I'd be told all the time I was attractive day to day and have never been without that. I do not suit the extra weight and look incredibly unattractive. My face looks swollen and my features aren't prominent anymore.

I feel so I comfortable, particularly when sitting down. None of my clothes fit so I've had to buy clothes in sizes I've never bought before.

I've been 13 stone before and looked alright. So even if I could lose two stone I would look much better and be much happier.

I'd never have taken the sertraline if I had known what it would do to me.

I have never changed my diet and even calculate how many calories I am eating (2000 or below on average). I don't know why I'm not losing the weight now I'm off the sertraline.

My GP is aware and said my diet isn't one that would cause weight gain but will only cause slow weight loss. I can deal with slow.

My family say to live my life. I'm only going and there's more to life than having being fat. But I'm so unhappy being obese. AIBU?

Husky- here, here.

Sorry, don't want to come across as rude but my doctor knows me better than anyone on here and has made it very clear my diet is fine for weight loss. Which is ebidence day the fact I have very slowly lost weight. I have hit a stop now but on the advice of my GP I need only increase my exercise to lose more weight.

I have hyperthyroidism remember so my metabolism is increased.

I know I will lose weight eventually but it's a very slow process. I don't want to reduce my calories as my diet is healthy and my weight gain due to medication. This has been confirmed by my dietician.

I was always a healthy weight befoRe taking sertraline and do not overeat now.

It's worrying people feel so comfortable telling someone to cut down their calories when it's clearly stated in the OP that the persons doctor has said their diet is fine.

I wrote this thread to hear from others who are also overweight and how they cope with it and trying to maintain a positive self image while in the process of losing weight. I hate my weight now and trying to cope with life while I lose it.

Although I'd much rather lose it slowly than on a crash diet.

If I ate less than 17000 calories a day I would be underweight in no time. It's not suitable for me due to hyperthyroidism.

Husky - completely agree. I wanted to say “fuck off” too but wasn’t brave enough.

Hi Busybee - are you on any medication for your hyperthyroidism to bring your thyroxine levels within a normal range? If you're not, you really should be - and if you are, then your metabolism shouldn't be that much any faster than someone with no thyroid issues.

On the calorie issue, 2000 would be maintenance for me - everyone is different. On the sertraline question - I know it has been linked to weight gain but the mechanism isn't well understood as far as I know. it could be that it causes people to eat more before they feel satiated, or to gravitate towards more calorific foods. And as you say yourself you've stopped the sertraline now and the weight hasn't come off, so it can't just be down to the medication.

Ok Busy - only thing I will say is that doctors don’t have a lot of education in nutrition and weight loss.

And if you have hyperthyroidism and are not losing on 2000 calories a day then maybe reducing it a little might help.

Interesting Allthecoolkids how everyone is different, I think I read somewhere that the government set that guideline becuase that is achievable for most people, though by the sounds of it is far far too much for most.

Your GP might say your diet is fine but he/she doesn't know exactly what you're eating. The only way to get an idea of that is to log what you eat, using an app like myfitnesspal, and to be really boringly exact about it: weighing portions etc. When I did that last year I found I had been underestimating my total daily calories by a good 500-700. And I thought I was realistic about my diet.

Honey the thing I have learnt is that the ONLY way to lose weight is to eat less . The moving is great too but it’s changing to a new life where you eat less food .

If faddy diets are not for you just eat healthy and normal (smaller) portions and fill the plate with Veg

I would also agree 2000 is going to keep you where you are to be honest

It’s completely possible you just need the will to say OK - I start today
And when you go off track it’s just a blip
You don’t sound like an emotional over eater just someone who has got stuck

It’s hard . I have stuck at 12 stone despite eating much better - so I also need to follow
My own advice here

And it’s not all vanity . It’s health , mental and the physical aches you are experiencing

It’s a change for life really

OP I would love to eat 17000 calories a day and lose weight!

I know what you mean and agree that 2000 isn’t too much, maintenance calories at 15 stone will be way above that - everyone is different but cutting calories down to 1000 is not going to work, 1500-2000 is what I am aiming for (5ft 6, 13 stone 1) and it’s coming off slowly but hoping it will stay off.

I could have wrote your post, I used to be attractive, I dressed nice, got my nails done and hair etc and was confident (and 10 stone). Now I’m married with a child and have no confidence at all in my body, I hate it. I used to love sex and attracted lots of men (not bragging, I just did) and now I still do love sex with my DH but it is smattered with thoughts of ‘does he think I’m a massive lump of lard’ etc. Even though he (lies) tells me he can’t notice the difference...

If you have lost weight on 2000 calories a day then that is great. What is probably happening how is that your body needs fewer calories to maintain itself.

Do you know anything about your TDEE? Total Daily Energy
Expenditure? As you lose weight you need less calories. You don’t need to drop calories drastically - try 1800 for a couple of weeks and see what happens. It sounds a bit like you have plateaued now.

Have you tried ketosis?

You can have a reasonable level of calories (1700 ish) and people lose weight fast

Google it on Reddit, there are thousands of obese people melting away their weight with minimum effort but a transformed way of eating. It's high fat, very low carb so you are constantly full and most people struggle to eat the calories they are allocated.

I agree find I think most people vastly underestimate their calorie intake, I weigh, measure and log everything I eat and drink and doing this is how I stay slim, most people would think it’s over the top to do that but it does work.

If your joints are sore, you might prefer to start with non weight bearing exercise such as swimming, then build up your walking levels slowly.
2000 cals is too high an intake for effective weight loss - you may even gain weight on that if you are fairly inactive.
The good news is that muscle is quite metabolically active compared to fat tissue - the more muscle you build, the more calories you will burn each day to maintain the muscle cells.
Try to avoid calorie dense food (sugary, fatty, processed foods, such as confectionery, cake, biscuits, crisps, snacks etc) and fill up on lots of green veg and lean meat or fish. Alcohol is also very high calorie -
one bottle of wine is about 600 cals. Best avoided!
If you can make some adjustments to your diet and exercise, just enough to tip you into gentle weight loss, I think you will feel very encouraged to continue. It's always disheartening if you don't see any progress, but I think at the moment you're just overestimating the amount of calories you can have.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on!

Diet is so much more important than exercise when it comes to weight loss.

2000 calories is far too many and walking 3 miles does not put you in the active category.

If your doctor is telling you that your diet is fine, i would guess that you are not being honest with your doctor about what you are eating.

You say you put weight on due to medication - but you can't use that as a reason to remain obese. You are no longer on the medication and it's time to take responsibility for you health and your weight.

I feel your pain OP, I'm in the same boat but mine was caused by coming off the pill and ballooning by 5 stone in 6 months (thanks to pcos). I'm lucky if I lose 0.5lb a month and I hate myself

if I ate 1700 calories I would be underweight in no time

I think you should worry about that when you near a lower BMI.

I quite often lurk on these threads because I need to lose weight. The discussion about this amount of calories or that amount of calories is only half useful if an OP hasn’t actually identified honestly the reasons why the weight is there in the first place. It sounds like that here.

For years I've maintained my weight by calorie counting not necessarily worrying about what the calories were made up of so long as I was around 1500 a day. It worked. But was massive effort with a huge element of portion control.

I recently decided to try and address energy issues not weight and have done ketosis diet. I find it hard to eat 1200 calories, have much much more energy and I've dropped 3kg without trying (that half stone we always say we'd like to lose)

All I'd say is that it is now clear to me that a calorie is not a calorie. (There is much to google on this)

And massively, hugely, mind blowingly in a way I never chose to understand, high carbs make you hungry.

Well done OP for losing a stone. That's a great achievement. You know you can do it as you've done it already. Keep going, don't give up.

Op these threads always bring out the "nutritionists"!

The best way to lose weight and keep it off is slow and steady. No point in a crash diet you can't maintain. Places like slimming world and weight watchers make money out of people whos diet yo-yo's. It sounds like you are supported by your doc and on the right track.

If you are losing weight slowly then it's just a matter of staying focused and staying positive. Remember you won't feel like this forever it's just a blip.

Measure your success in different ways, don't just focus on your weight , focus on getting back into your old clothes, eventually your old activities and feeling less achey and tired.

Sometimes the scales won't go down but you will notice yourself feel better or clothes getting looser .

Good luck! X

Google it on Reddit, there are thousands of obese people melting away their weight with minimum effort but a transformed way of eating. It's high fat, very low carb so you are constantly full and most people struggle to eat the calories they are allocated.

Very low carb diets aren’t suitable for people with thyroid problems.

Do weights!
Easy on your joints, you can work up from filled water bottles to heavier stuff.
Lifting heavy stuff - with good posture - will really help your body.

Poor you - I'd also be unhappy at that weight.

I think its interesting how people are fanatical about certain diets and they've lost several stone on them, yet they don't work for everyone. So maybe its just a case of finding something that works for you and your body. I'd try different diets and see which one you lose weight on.

What works for me is: No breakfast (5 days a week) and then a Diet Coke about 10.30. Lunch at 12 - usually something carby like a ham and cheese sandwich or soup - I don't eat crisps, but I'd have as salad with it with dressing. Dinner - I eat most things, but not too many carbs, I drink wine 4/7 nights, but don't have any other snacks or eat anything sugary like cake.
I go to the gym for 1 hour, 2-3 times a week and maintain my weight of 8'9 and I'm 5'4"

Oh and like a PP, I found it very difficult to stay a healthy weight on the pill.

If I ate 1700 calories I would be underweight in no time
That's obviously not true though, because you are only losing weight very slowly at 2000 calories. 1700 cals would be 300 cals a day, = 2100/week, which works out as less than a pound a week (one pound of fat = 3500 calories). So you would still be losing weight quite slowly. Even if you increased your exercise to burn another 200 cals per day (and thats more difficult than it sounds if you're not particularly fit to start with) that would still just result in an extra pound per week. Ideal weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week.

Jaydee but carbs don’t have to come from potatoes, rice, pasta etc, eating better carbs from meat, fish, dairy and veg would be better for someone with that condition.

With all due respect op your diet may not be terrible eg pizza and coke and chocolate, to be unhealthy, neither is having potatoes/rice/pasta most days of the week either(disclaimer I have no idea what you eat obviously, just making a point that we tend to think our diets are healthy but when you pick them apart a lot of us are having way too much carby stuff on a daily basis)

I feel like you’re being a bit defensive about advice offered and refusing to take on board anything other than what your dr says, which makes me wonder why you posted in AIBU