To be in constant sadness because I'm obese

[Busybusybee1]

I was always a normal weight and loved outdoor activities. After having my son I got terrible postnatal depression and was put on sertraline. Within 6 months I had gone from 11 stone to almost 16 stone! I had to come off the sertraline but thankfully my PND went.

I made sure to eat healthily and waited to return to my previous weight. I lost a stone. Then no more. I'm 5ft6 and 15 stone. I'm obese. I have had to stop a lot of my outdoor activities I used to enjoy as I don't have the physical ability to do them. My joints hurt and I'm tired all the time. Even walking can be a struggle. I've no idea why but nothing has shifted the weight.

I used to be attractive. I'd be told all the time I was attractive day to day and have never been without that. I do not suit the extra weight and look incredibly unattractive. My face looks swollen and my features aren't prominent anymore.

I feel so I comfortable, particularly when sitting down. None of my clothes fit so I've had to buy clothes in sizes I've never bought before.

I've been 13 stone before and looked alright. So even if I could lose two stone I would look much better and be much happier.

I'd never have taken the sertraline if I had known what it would do to me.

I have never changed my diet and even calculate how many calories I am eating (2000 or below on average). I don't know why I'm not losing the weight now I'm off the sertraline.

My GP is aware and said my diet isn't one that would cause weight gain but will only cause slow weight loss. I can deal with slow.

My family say to live my life. I'm only going and there's more to life than having being fat. But I'm so unhappy being obese. AIBU?

Eat less, move more. You’ll lose weight. It really is that simple

It really, really isn't. I mean, it's true. But it's not simple.

If you're somebody who is emotionally healthy and/or doesn't have any kind of emotional relationship with food and eating then great. But that is not the case for so many overweight and underweight individuals.

I've suffered from anorexia for over half my life. People sometimes say things like what you said (except it would be 'eat more and move less. It's that simple) but it is so difficult to put that into practice because of all the psychological crap that tries to stop you doing what you know is sensible.

Many overeaters are exactly the same. Especially if they are depressed, self conscious and self isolating due to recent weight gain. Misery and self hatred makes some people comfort eat and some people avoid eating.

It's a really vicious cycle to try and break and telling someone to just eat healthily and exercise more is really quite invalidating of the complex struggle weight management can be.

If you like slimming world other than the worry about portion sizes why not go back to that? Or weight watchers which nowadays has a very similar diet to slimming world with quite a lot of free food that you don't have to measure then other food is on points so you can have some variety. The thing is if you do one of these diets and enjoy it you can carry on having big portions if you keep making sensible choices over what you eat. Keep having the same healthy meals with a good amount of veg you had while losing weight, but just have more points or syns to maintain your weight. These diets will support you in maintaining your weight too. If you go to the clubs you can keep going and you will get in free.
There are other diets you could look at too, such as calorie counting or low carb, if you do decide against SW or WW.

OP, how are you at swimming? I recommend it for weight loss and toning your body up, but it's more effective if you can swim to a reasonable standard. Good for painful joints as well, I have a dodgy knee and an hours swim loosens it up for the whole day.

The 400/600/600 split is a good idea because it's simple to follow, however it still might be too many calories for you, OP. Also, don't to count your drinks.

What's an excuse, Flouncy ? - mental illness/poor mental health? Charming!

Op, if you know how to count calories, you know how to cut them. It really is that simple. You don't seem to have an eating disorder, based on what you've written, you're just eating too much to lose weight..

Don't spend your days being all sad. By the summer you can be where you want to be, 13 stone at least, so just cut your calories.

When you have thyroid problems then that can complicate things Flouncy hence me asking when her last lot of bloods were.

i always get annoyed when there's any sort of govt. backed advice / announcement etc. they reccommned 2000 cal. for a woman almost without fail and for almost everybody that is too much. no wonder there is an obesity crisis when the people issuing the advice get it so wrong.

It IS that simple op. If you consume fewer calories than you expend in energy you WILL lose weight. A simple biological fact.

Until you accept that, I feel you are doomed to failure though.

To the PP who said round face are you thinking of Cushings?

OP feeling crap about your body and life now will drag you down and make it easier to put weight on. Slimming world isn’t bad I’m on it, I think you might benefit from doing SP days just to fill yourself with lots of fruit & veg. I feel better when I eat cleaner, it improves my mood. I also recommend mindfulness podcasts they feel weird to start with but help with stress. Try picking out one thing about yourself you feel good about and don’t say nothing, you’re strong you got through PND. And when you feel crap remind yourself of that fact, to lose weight you need to be in right frame of mind so start being kind to yourself

The OP hasn’t listed any mental illnesses that would prevent her from losing weight

Flouncy Doves what a mean, mean person you are. There’s nothing more pathetic than someone who sits behind a keyboard and insults a stranger who is reaching out for help.

@FlouncyDoves depression?

Actually Flouncy depression and anxiety can be part of thyroid disease and the op has already stated she has it.

sorry Op, that sounds so tough.

Could you go swimming? Increase the amount of swimming and walking in your life? It will help you feel better too, being active again.

When did you last get your thyroid checked though? And your vitamin D level? Vit D deficiency plus lowish thyroid left me shattered, miserable and struggling to lose weight because I was shattered, sluggish and miserable.

I also second swimming as great form of exercise for toning up but being kind on your joints

I've never really counted calories before and I've been shocked to see how quickly they add up. It's been very beneficial for me to have a clearer understanding. I'm using an app called MyNetDiary and it works great for me - very easy to tweak settings, barcode scanning function, recipe maker, etc. It started me at 2,000 calories which was far too high so I've been slowly lowering it. I'm going to aim for 1600 by next week I think, and see how I get on.

Best of luck to you. I want to lose 3 stone more or less to get into the normal BMI range and it sometimes feels impossible. I try not to think about it too hard and focus on changing my habits one meal at a time.

2000 glad is far too many. 1200 would be better. And walk or cycle, even if it is just round the block

Oh Busy I'm sorry you feel so unhappy about your weight. I've lost some weight over the last year but getting started was difficult.

Could you start off by walking round the block each day?

Then eat sensibly and healthily each day with NO SNACKING. I find that it's the snacks which trip me up.

Maybe only weigh yourself just once a month.

With every 7 lbs which comes off reward yourself with something like a new lipstick or nail polish - something inedible. Good luck.

The op has not stated she is currently depressed. Nor has she said she has anxiety nor has she said she has any eating disorder.

I wish people would stop trying to insinuate she's ill in some way. She's beaten PND. good for her, Stop bloody suggesting she's got more wrong and she just doesn't know it.

People can just be fat because they eat too much you know. There doesn't have to be some dire mental health issue that's causing it.

OP walking is good, I walk a lot as I can’t run due to a bad hip. I would recomend getting a sports watch or Fitbit so you can see how far you are walking and how many steps you are doing (gradually increase it).

I don’t calorie count, have no idea how many I pack away each day but I try and eat good food. I am a size 12 but trying to lose the last few lb to get to a size 10. I walk a lot and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week (hour each time), I also swim once or twice a week.

You don’t necessarily need to calorie count but be more aware of what your eating and read food packaging, most tell you the fat and sugar content and are colour coded. Cut down on sugar, processed foods and carbs (bread, potato, rice).

It’s not always simple, a diet that works well for one person may not work well for others.

To lose weight 80% is food and 20% is exercise.
So just upping your activity isn't going to shift enough while you are eating 2000 cals a day.
Agree with other posters that dropping to 1200 cals will give you a steady weight loss. I have done just that and have lost 16lb since January.
Mindset is the key, and it sounds like you're ready to make a change.

Bloody hell did flouncy really just say "excuses excuses" to someone who has anorexia?