To be in constant sadness because I'm obese

[Busybusybee1]

I was always a normal weight and loved outdoor activities. After having my son I got terrible postnatal depression and was put on sertraline. Within 6 months I had gone from 11 stone to almost 16 stone! I had to come off the sertraline but thankfully my PND went.

I made sure to eat healthily and waited to return to my previous weight. I lost a stone. Then no more. I'm 5ft6 and 15 stone. I'm obese. I have had to stop a lot of my outdoor activities I used to enjoy as I don't have the physical ability to do them. My joints hurt and I'm tired all the time. Even walking can be a struggle. I've no idea why but nothing has shifted the weight.

I used to be attractive. I'd be told all the time I was attractive day to day and have never been without that. I do not suit the extra weight and look incredibly unattractive. My face looks swollen and my features aren't prominent anymore.

I feel so I comfortable, particularly when sitting down. None of my clothes fit so I've had to buy clothes in sizes I've never bought before.

I've been 13 stone before and looked alright. So even if I could lose two stone I would look much better and be much happier.

I'd never have taken the sertraline if I had known what it would do to me.

I have never changed my diet and even calculate how many calories I am eating (2000 or below on average). I don't know why I'm not losing the weight now I'm off the sertraline.

My GP is aware and said my diet isn't one that would cause weight gain but will only cause slow weight loss. I can deal with slow.

My family say to live my life. I'm only going and there's more to life than having being fat. But I'm so unhappy being obese. AIBU?

Get Michael Moslem's book "The Blood Sugar Diet" and follow it to the letter for 12 weeks. I promise that it really, really works.

Chin up and best of luck.

@Bluntness100 are you aware of why she would have been prescribed sertraline?

1200 is hard to stick to I think. 1400 gives you a bit more flexibility. You’ll still lose the weight, just a bit slower. But calculate your BMR and find what works for you!

I'm 5ft7 and to lose 2 lbs a week which is a safe amount to lose I need 1200 calories. To maintain I need 1600. If I want treat I exercise first then have the treat as a reward.

People are also notoriously bad at counting calories accurately. It's so easy to forget about little things like milk in tea, things you nibble on while cooking and easy to underestimate portion sizes. To start with I'd cut calories to 1600 and religiously calorie count everything that passes your lips.

I would say this is more of an underlying problem with your health OP... I'm 15st, and 5"1 - however I don't feel any pressure on my joints when walking/running. I do have asthma and suffered a little this morning at the gym as I was trying to do C25K and forgot it!

But I fit into size 14, probably more comfortable for my boobs in 16 tops, but although I too am obese (and am using a combination of the gym and slimming world to get to a manageable level) it certainly isn't affecting my day - to - day routine, so I would think maybe there is something underlying

I'm 5ft3 and need to eat less than 1200 calories if I want to lose weight.

Go Weightwatchers or slimming world. X

Yes I’m on 1200 calories a day as recommended by MyFitnessPal. It’s hard to maintain but if I have more I don’t lose the weight.

FlouncyDoves - so glad you came along to give us all your considered advice. Really helpful. Thanks.

TheImprobableGirl - wow. I’m 5 ft 7 and 15st 11but am a size 20. Funny how we are all so different!

gosh OP, I thought you were gonna say you were like 30 stone & couldn't leave your house. Anyone would find 20 stone too much rather depressing.

5 stone more than you want is annoying but not worthy of being depressed about. There is So Much you can do with your life. You can do something about this and enjoy your life in meantime. yabu.

There's a lot of support here & online to help lose weight. Do tap into it.

Yes to reducing calorie intake. I bet I average about 1200 with more at weekends.

I go to the gym 3x a week.

I fast doing 16:8 so only eat for 8 hours of the day (first meal about 2, stopped eating by 10)

Also when I needed to shift weight quick I have gone into Saxenda which drastically reduces your appetite. It's expensive but abit of a life saver.

A bloated face is a sign of something I can’t remember the name of though.
Cushing's Syndrome?

Flouncy, are you a special kind of stupid ? Or is it just emotional intelligence you lack? Let’s hope you don’t have kids to pass on that kind of horrible attitude to! Op let flouncy’s comment remind you that things could be worse, at least you aren’t flouncey!

I've read the whole thread and am amazed no one has suggested low carb rather than low cal.

Give SlimmingWorld my world another go, I've lost a substantial amount after failing to do so for years. You don't HAVE to eat big portions, just eat 1/3 of your portion as 'super-free' veg.
I would also agree 2000 calories is too much.

I feel your pain OP, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, even at the end of pregnancies, no excuses, just content and inactive!
I’ve got what seems like an unattainable 8st to lose but I’m following dr Michael Moseleys blood sugar diet, in principle it’s cutting out sugar,grains, rice, potatoes and starchy veg, at 800 cals for 8wks, which seems very low but you are allowed full fat natural yogurt, cheeses, full fat milk etc so that helps keep you full, I’m on week 6 today and I’ve lost 19lb so far.

He has a book and there is a great fb group for support if you’re interested.
I like to see fast loss (but healthy, no replacement shakes/meals etc!) so its working really well for me!

I also think 2000 calories a day is quite outdated and not relevant unless you are very active at work/working out most days of the week, I suspect in the future it’ll be revised to more like 1400-1600 for the average women

It is strange ciderwithbuddha isn't it! Theres a site somewhere where you put in your height and weight and theres hundreds of people's pictures that are the 'same' as you (stats wise) but the variety is huge. I forget what the site's called, but it appears occasionally and I lose a happy hour ogling others

Once you do half a day, or a day of healthy eating/ exercise OP, I promise you will start to feel better. Theres lots of great support over on the big/slim/whatever weight loss section, whereas AIBU can sometimes be a bit hard to take if you are already feeling low

OP I know where you're coming from.
I have had huge success with a Fitbit. I can now see that my excess weight has been down to eating too much food, although I would have denied that til I was blue in the face until logging my food proved it to me. I've found it so helpful, I always aim to eat less calories than I burn off, I know it's not 100% accurate, but I'm really finding out what burns calories, and can adjust things accordingly. I've lost 12lbs in 2 months, I'm really pleased as I don't feel I've had to "suffer" too much to achieve that. Mind you I do now do 5 fitness classes a week I wasn't doing last year! (The people there have been great and totally non judgemental). 1lb in weight is equivalent to 3,500 calories. It also does this macro thing, which breaks down the logged foot into what's protein, carbs and fat which is really helpful so I don't get miserable and hungry if I eat the right things. 2.5kgs and I'll be out of "obese" and into "overweight" BMI so it's slow and steady in my case, which is usually the way to help it stay off.

itsu I would be gutted if I worked out twice a day and 2000 calories would make me gain weight, I know exercise does not burn a huge amount of calories but even so an average female would burn 90 cals per mile running, so 3 miles twice a day would be 540 calories per day, what calories do you need to maintain your current weight with working out twice a day if you don’t mind me asking?

Oh OP I'm pretty active, I aim to stick at a max of 2,000 calories a day, but I'm burning off 2,500-3,000 calories a day. My old habits, I must have been eating nearer 3,000 calories a day, but of course I wasn't logging everything I ate.

I am 5’7” and moderately active.

I lose at a medium pace at 1000cals.
I lose slowly at 1200cals.
I maintain at 1500-1600.
Any more than that and I gain.

I feel quite lied to by officialdom about the whole thing!

Flouncy

I can't believe your post to manic. I've reported it.

Manic excuses excuses

I’ve never said this to someone on here before, but Flouncy? Fuck off.

Manic wrote one of the best posts I’ve ever seen about why the ‘it’s simple’ brigade are missing the point. And she’s suffered from anorexia, which is a serious disease that kills people. And your response is...that??

Just fuck right off.