DH and I have a lovely nearly-2yo son. I went back to work full time after a year’s maternity and have taken a fairly significant career hit to make sure my work life can facilitate childminder runs etc. I don’t mind this and am fortunate that I have been able to broker such an arrangement; the baby/early years are short and actually if I could balance things more in flavour of mothering than work, then I would. But I digress slightly.
DH works shifts for a company that is contracted to the emergency services. His shift patterns are a bit of a pig, days, nights, weekend work and that’s fine, it was all part and parcel of this job that he wanted so much to take in the first place. But what irritates me is that he is absolutely rigid on never requesting any flexibility from his work for the family. There is a mechanism for requesting shift changes, they are entitled to sick/parental leave should the children fall ill, but he has told me point blank that he will never do it. Son is sick? I have to take time off work. Family emergency on my side? Arranging childcare is my responsibility. I’m really only talking about in extremis situations, but the message is clear: Not his problem.
AIBU to be a bit cross about this?