‘Why is straight the default?’

[JeremyCorbansFancyWoman]

I want to start of by saying I’m not prejudiced. I 100% believe everyone has the right to be attracted to and love whom ever.

But, there’s a movie coming out called Live Simon or something and I’ve seen a tag line from it asking ‘why is straight the default?’

This is going to sound awful and I really don’t mean it to be but if we were being very basic that the meaning of life of everything is to reproduce, it’s a biological man and woman that can do so. (Obviously I mean without modern day ways of helping people have children). I also read an article that said a million people in the U.K. identify as LGB but that’s 2%.

I would make the assumption someone was straight until told otherwise. And of course I wouldn’t have an issue, but does anyone else think that straight IS the default?

(I tried so hard not to offend in this post so apologies if I did!)

Why can't people just live their lives and stop trying to force their views on others

Like marriage is between a man and a woman, relationships are male and female, stories at school are a Prince rescuing a Princess etc etc.

It's a good thing society doesn't try and force a view on others. It's just that many people don't see it as forcing a view, they just see it as their reality.

Like I said, you need to change your shoes...and try on a different pair.

Oh dear, I don't, but more importantly, I don't care about yours either. Time to leave this nonsensical thread.

The squeaky wheels of this world are getting louder despite being rather minuscule and by doing so, could easily become too squeaky for the ' default' polulace.

Goodness, wakeme, you must live somewhere terribly cosmopolitan. I live with a lesbian and I've still never had people shout their preferences at me on a daily basis. Apart from DD, who definitely wants a 'dadda'. The heteronormative bigot.

Again and for the last time, vast majority of humans are heterosexual and identify as their own sex and gender therefore making them the 'default' position of human kind. That default part of humans happens to be very tolerant - in many countries, not all - of all the other variations of human relationships and whimsys.
It is something to be grateful of.

The squeaky wheels of this world are getting louder despite being rather minuscule and by doing so, could easily become too squeaky for the ' default' polulace

What does that mean? Are you worried that people who aren't like you are having their voices heard, becoming more prominent and becoming more visible?

I can see that must be scary if you live in a world where your life was reflected back to you.

No doubt it's people with similar views to wakemeup who took issue when a lesbian teacher friend of mine told the children she was getting married to a woman but who had no issue when a female teacher said she was getting married to a man.

Children assumed marriage means men and women - which given all the stories they hear, that's natural to assume. If God forbid a school tries to introduce some variety, people like wakemeup would no doubt complain about PC gone mad and how dare they ram such stuff down their kid's throats.

Not scary, annoying and tireing; live your lives whichever way you choose just stop bloody trumpeting about it.

Interesting cross post.

It is the default because in the literal and practical sense it is the norm!

You know, you are not special, you are just people who do things differently than your neighbours perhaps. Why is it so difficult to understand; we, the 'default' part of population, understand that there are multitudes who chose to be different, we are fine by that. Just stop shouting about it, just go ahead and be bloody different.

I think there should be less of the 'we' and more of the 'i' in your post

And you dont chose to be gay

Choose obviously

Good grief

For Gods sake.
We make all kinds of assumptions on first meeting a person. Based on the knowledge we have of similar people we have met before.
It's quite normal and nothing to apologise for.

Why is there a need for a default position at all?

Surely it is best not to be assumptions, as assumptions can often be wrong. A majority position does not need to equal a default position.

The majority of these post impose a binary system if sexuality, ignoring bisexuality, and also ignore the fact that sexuality can be fluid. It is a gross oversimplification of the issues, and some posts are bordering on homophobic.

There isn't a need for a default.

We could just assume that everyone's sexuality is unknown to us until we find it out.

Then nobody would say "I could count on one hand the number of gay people I've met" because they would acknowledge that the majority of people they have met, their sexuality did not come up.

But right now people DO assume a default and do say silly things like that.

We could just assume that everyone's sexuality is unknown to us until we find it out.

It’s human nature to make our best guess. And with the majority being straight, it does seem like a waste of energy to wonder if someone is straight or not, when the chance is 98% they are! Most people won’t give it a second thought and I don’t think that will change. I think suggesting otherwise is bizarre.

Straight's not the default where I live.
Also - that's a film poster tagline you're reading not a call to bloody arms for the gays...
Those percentages are waaaayyyy underestimated - people don;t always want to tell a survey their sexuality for all sorts of reasons, sometimes just on principle.
AND even if that percentage from the ONS is accurate then that means over 1 MILLION LGBT people are in the UK. So all depends what you mean by default really...

Oh, and I didn;t use 'modern' technology to have my kids BTW, despite not having a male partner...

The majority of people are straight and fine with the gender they were born with. I am not sure it makes them the default but it does make them the norm (Definition of norm: something that is usual, typical, or standard). I also think that the majority of people are not biased against those who don't confirm to the norm. I think the majority aren't really bothered what anyone else does in the bedroom or what organs they keep in their pants. Prejudice, intolerance and bigotry most certainly do exist but I'd like to think it is a minority yelling loudly and giving the rest of us a bad name!
Of course you should "assume" that someone is straight the instant you meet them but as statistically they are more likely to be so it is understandable that one should slip into that assumption.

I think most people are straight, but there’s an awful lot of those straight people like me who could just as easily fall in love with a member of the same sex, but still identify as straight.

I think it would be so much easier if people didn't assume other people's sexuality based on what the "majority" does.

Asking people " Are you seeing anyone?" or " How is your partner?" doesn't require more effort than assuming they are straight and asking them similar questions involving terms refering to opposite sex partners. Lots of people use the term "DP" on here so how hard can it be to use it in real life as well when inquiring about other people's love life?

The amount of time I have had to come out and correct people (sometimes making things awkward/uncomfortable)because people assume I am straight is ridiculous. Sometimes it also put me in very uncomfortable situations where I have to litterally deny my own sexuality and play along to the heteronormative label people have simply forced on me by assuming I was straight because correcting them and coming out could be too risky (let's say at work for example). It's extremely frustrating. Ironically if people were to inquire using neutral term I could both be honest and keep my sexuality on the down-low without having to "shove it down their throat." . (People who assume and then complain that LGBT folks are "shoving their sexuality down other people's throat" don't realize that part of the reason why LGBT are made to be so vocal about their sexuality is because they have no choice but to be vocal because other people act like their sexuality doesn't exist as it's not the default and found themselves labelled as straight to be then face with the irritated attitude of people when they correct them and say "actually, I am not straight, I am gay/bi" as if by stating the truth we are trying to make a big deal of our sexuality/feel extra special.)

Same goes for representation. LGBT people have soooo little representation in media and books, yet heterosexual people who complain about too much queer representation in media argue that they fear they'll become under-representated if it keeps happening (can't those people see the irony?). I grew up with almost no representation and had there been more queer content my life would have been much more easier , the pressure to fit in and be straight was excrutiating as a teenager, I know many ladies who identify as straight yet constantly "experiment"/enjoy same-sex sex on a night out. The world is more accepting of LGBT people but the pressure to fit-in and be straight is still very real and I wouldn't be surprised if, in a world where social-pressure to be straight wouldn't exist, we would end up seeing bisexuality as the default or at least the norm.

Linning: thank you for writing so much sense in a thread where I’ve seen my own identity passed off as mere ‘whimsy’.

Linning everything you've writte is exactly how I feel and all your examples have occured in my experience too. You've just put it a lot better. Thank you.

Written*

Well said Linning

It doesn't hurt anyone or waste any time to say "your partner" until you know the gender of a person's partner.