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Original poster

‘Why is straight the default?’

200 replies

JeremyCorbansFancyWoman · 07/03/2018 07:44

I want to start of by saying I’m not prejudiced. I 100% believe everyone has the right to be attracted to and love whom ever.

But, there’s a movie coming out called Live Simon or something and I’ve seen a tag line from it asking ‘why is straight the default?’

This is going to sound awful and I really don’t mean it to be but if we were being very basic that the meaning of life of everything is to reproduce, it’s a biological man and woman that can do so. (Obviously I mean without modern day ways of helping people have children). I also read an article that said a million people in the U.K. identify as LGB but that’s 2%.

I would make the assumption someone was straight until told otherwise. And of course I wouldn’t have an issue, but does anyone else think that straight IS the default?

(I tried so hard not to offend in this post so apologies if I did!)

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/03/2018 20:29

I'm coming into this really late, but, part of my work is in histories of sexuality, and I couldn't not respond to All your ancestors, barring victims of rape, have been straight

Oscar Wilde had children. He was patently, plainly, not straight. He is one of many, many, many, many, many examples of people who manage to reproduce just fine despite being attracted to the same sex.

In 2018, I know loads of women who had children with male partners before realising they were lesbians. It is not unusual.

For my money, the issue with saying 'straight is the default' is that 'straight' is a social construct. Until relatively recently, people didn't have a consensus that there was such a thing as being 'straight' (or gay either).

It's all about how the society around you happens to describe things. Sure, everyone's always going to assume men like women and women like men. No big deal, and not homophobic to say it. But saying it's 'the default,' to me, sounds as if the alternative is some kind of deviation or innovation, and that feels a bit bizarre. I mean, I don't believe a tiny embryo/ a newborn baby/a human at what ever stage of development is default straight and then something happens to turn it gay.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 20:34

Minorities of every flavour are demanding a disproportionate level of attention. Not talking about ethnicity.

emberflames · 07/03/2018 20:53

I honestly couldn't give a damn if it's disproportionate.

From a personal viewpoint growing up as bisexual and knowing from a very young age, I saw absolutely no one on tv, in films, in my books that I could say "yes that's like me I relate to her I don't feel so strange." And many of my LGB friends feel the same. It's not until I discovered The L Word age 17 that I finally had characters I could relate to.

That is why representation matters. For the youngsters growing up feeling they don't have a place and don't fit in. Many heterosexual people just don't understand how important this is. Feeling a little less peculiar is life changing for many

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:06

Marvellous, so happy for you. However, there's no need to ram it down throats of the general populaing/being whatever you want to do/be, just understand, there's no need to announce it to all and sundry.
You wouldn't give a toss what someone like me feels/thinks/etc as I happen to be the 'default' in most things.

emberflames · 07/03/2018 22:08

Wakemeupbefore oh dear. I really feel sorry for you. What a horrid closed minded world you live in. If you can't understand why representation matters then there's really no helping you.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:09

Sorry, half of the post has gone walksies Hmm

...However, there's no need to ram it down throats of the general populace; enjoy feeling/being whatever ......

went missing.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:10

I don't need nor want your help, 'dear', my mind is just about as open as I can possibly tolerate Hmm.

emberflames · 07/03/2018 22:11

Beyond hilarious that one or two adverts out of thousand and maybe one LGB couple per tv series (if that) is "ramming down throats". It's doing nothing but normalise the existence LGB people. Get a grip.

emberflames · 07/03/2018 22:11

Well then you sound unbelievably intolerant. You really can't understand why representation is so important ? Really truly you can't ?

kalapattar · 07/03/2018 22:14

However, there's no need to ram it down throats of the general populaing/being whatever you want to do/be, just understand, there's no need to announce it to all and sundry

It's a good thing that being straight, in a conventional husband / wife relationship etc isn't rammed down people's throats everyday, is it then?

Doobedoobedoobedoobedoobe · 07/03/2018 22:17

It is the default because it is the vast majority and the way nature intended. It's not homophobic to state facts.

Stating that being straight is the majority sexuality is not homophobic. Saying straight is "the way nature intended" is though. You are basically implying that those who are not straight are "against nature" Think about your words carefully in future.

Littlecaf · 07/03/2018 22:18

TrappedInSpace

Nope, you’ve still lost me. It would be the opposite! That it’s not about me, me, me. as it would br the same for everyone.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:23

Life - the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

I don't need to see/hear about the little details of your 'preferences'. I tolerate them, good enough.

Hotdoggity · 07/03/2018 22:25

I feel like the recent highlighting of gender and sex issues has only made this worse. I never would’ve given a second thought to sexuality until everyone starting accusing me of assuming their sexuality.

Hotdoggity · 07/03/2018 22:26

“The way nature intended” doesn’t mean anything. Even on a purely semantic level.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:28

Gender/sex - male gender means male sex, female gender means female sex. It really is that simple. If you wish to 'identify' as the opposite sex, go ahead, if you wish to 'identify' as a tumble dryer, go ahead.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 07/03/2018 22:30

Whats that got to do with being gay?

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:33

Vast majority of population are heterosexual, therefore default position.

kalapattar · 07/03/2018 22:36

I don't need to see/hear about the little details of your 'preferences'. I tolerate them, good enough

Do you ever wonder what gay and bi people - or even asexual people (and anyone else who is not defined as straight) thinks of hearing constantly about straight people's preferences in the media, on TV, film, in art, radio, adverts etc?

Have you ever wondered why the media say someone was gay - even though it's irrlevant to the story? It's not like they mention if someone is straight...

Default thinking.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:39

No, I haven't. Too busy with my own life.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/03/2018 22:42

You do notice an awful lot of other people's preferences for someone so busy with their own life, don't you?

kalapattar · 07/03/2018 22:44

No, I haven't. Too busy with my own life

I think you need to change your shoes.

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:46

I am made to notice; one can't turn a head without all manner of special preferences being shouted at them.
Why can't people just live their lives and stop trying to force their views on others?
I really don't care what you or anybody else, who is not part of my family of friends, does or whom they like to screw or how or whichever way they happen to 'identify' every second Friday...

wakemeupbefore · 07/03/2018 22:48

kalapatter, it's time to go to sleepsies methinks....

emberflames · 07/03/2018 22:50

Wakemeup curious to know why you care what sexuality your family and friends are ?