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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet Vs Real life.

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 06/03/2018 11:44

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

OP posts:
alibongo5 · 08/03/2018 19:59

I didn't "come in" to say it - like everyone else I was commenting on something I have noticed about MN. Saying I find something on here irritating is rude? Ok. I didn't think I was rude.

YoloSwaggins · 08/03/2018 19:59

@alibongo, I agree, I hate all the stupid abbreviations.

Especially when people spectacularly miss the point and write DNeice!! Or Dfamily! Jesus christ.

@thistlebelle, I don't see how it's rude to say you don't like the convention.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 08/03/2018 20:00

Fuck me This was s light hearted thread!

Is it some people’s bed time

NerrSnerr · 08/03/2018 20:01

I don't think @alibongo5 was rude. The ones that make me laugh are DCat and DDog. Also DS because writing son is so much more effort...

LeighaJ · 08/03/2018 20:03

DearCat 🤣

choli · 08/03/2018 20:05

All female coworkers are after your husband and should only be allowed to communicate with him through a 3rd party while wearing a burqa. Anything else constitutes an emotional affair.

AyeAyeFishyPie · 08/03/2018 20:05

Problem: I was just getting the kids dinner out of the oven when the doorbell rang. I thought it must be DH home early from work (it was about 5pm) and i opened it to find an axe-weilding naked man who demanded I gave him money. I slammed the door and phoned the police. I dont want to ever answer the door again!

RL: you poor thing. Def get a chain for the door.
MN: you feed you kids at 5pm?!

LeighaJ · 08/03/2018 20:12

choli

But if a man takes issue with his partner having dinner alone twice a week with a male co-worker and regularly texting him about personal stuff, the guy is being a controlling arse who doesn't trust her. Confused

LeighaJ · 08/03/2018 20:15

IRL regular non-media people discuss transgender people and news about them occasionally.

On MN transgender people are discussed every day All day.

DownstairsMixUp · 08/03/2018 20:19

My husband is in a a very senior role I can't say as it's outing

Rl: my husband is an it manager Grin

YoloSwaggins · 08/03/2018 20:23

Oh and on MN the husbands are all very senior, work 150 hours a week earning at least 10x what the wife used to earn, commute 3 hours each way, are in no way allowed flexitime and have to travel for work for weeks at a time. To add to this, each child goes to a different private school and does 5 different activities which there is no public transport to and they HAVE to be driven, as well as doing drama, violin and being coached for Oxbridge - so the mum can't possibly have any time to get a job (but somehow has time to sit on MN all day)....

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 20:44

YoloSwaggins someone is bitter

On MN most posters complain about low paid jobs, unable to buy, stuck with renting forever, not being able to afford holidays and oh my god the price of uniforms, how are school demand that a child wears CLOTHES to go to school

RL: people buy clothes for their kids and take them off school to go away at least once a year

YellowMakesMeSmile · 08/03/2018 21:29

Yolo, I agree. Only on MN do I hear about all the helpless men who can't possibly be expected to work without a woman at home. Nor in real life do people claim a salary of a spouse as being earned by them.

londonista · 08/03/2018 21:31

MN: if you're proud of your husband and in a happy relationship, you're smug and rubbing it in the face of people in abusive relationships

RL: you've just got a bog standard normal relationship where you actually care about the person you're with.

ShotsFired · 08/03/2018 21:42

@YoloSwaggins and of all this work travel those "DH" hate the D-shit as well if you as so much hint that it'd be nice if he let you know what continent he is going to, and preferably more that 60 seconds before he leaves for the airport, you are "controlling" and needy.

Most MN don't even notice he's gone away for 3 weeks and even then are way too cool to speak on the phone at any point.

RL: where/when/how/who all gets diarised and lives juggled to suit and he phones home daily.

choli · 08/03/2018 21:43

Oh and on MN the husbands are all very senior, work 150 hours a week earning at least 10x what the wife used to earn

I always get a kick out of that - among my acquaintance, it would be extremely rare for there to be a large discrepancy in income, at least until kids came along and one partner chose to go part time. I find these Cinderella stories a bit suspect. If they are true, the OP should just come clean and say "I hit the marital jackpot and have no intention of ever working again in my life if I can avoid it".

Want2bSupermum · 09/03/2018 00:03

choli At one point DH was earning 10x. It's down to about 6x now.

I am the only wife who has a career. DHs peers either don't work or have a very PT job. Over the past 7-8 years there has been pressure on us from DHs employer for me to stop working. It's not happening. I've seen what happens to the wives when some of these men run off with a younger woman. If that happens to me I won't be left reliant on him for income. I earn more than enough to support the DCs on my own at this point in my career and I'm with an employer where I can earn more in the future.

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 09/03/2018 00:08

Sorry, but I am on about £45k a year and don't feel especially well paid. I am not even SE. What are you plebs getting paid?! 😂

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 09/03/2018 00:10

Yes want - fuck that!

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 09/03/2018 00:12

I earn more on paper than dp

thisismadness77 · 09/03/2018 00:18

Love this!

Bluelady · 09/03/2018 00:19

This was such an amusing thread, shame it hasn't stayed that way.

Want2bSupermum · 09/03/2018 00:23

yolo That does boil my piss. DH is bottom level of senior management of a €6bn revenue a year company. He does the kids packed lunches and picks up DD from aftercare most days. He has more flexibility than I do. His number is the primary one for school and daycare (highly recommend this for any DH suffering from importantitis).

He also travels a lot but because he is senior he does day trips and doesn't spent the week away most of the time. In a week he flies to customers 3-4 days a week. Going further away he will stay over.

His travel schedule is planned out and shared. I am that wife with a stern look in her eye and I won't put up with importantitis from DH. It's vital that our DC see both DH and I do chores. We might earn between us about USD1m a year but we don't have a cleaner or a nanny beyond our PT sitter. We don't have a big home. Our 3DC share one room. It takes 3-4 hours to clean. We do it together as a family in about 2 hours. My son who is now 5 loves to vacuum and the baby does a great job of cleaning the skirting boards.

I know we are unusual but DH wouldn't interested in being married to someone who was so defeatist and I think a very common characteristic of successful people is a very positive outlook and they have an ability to get shit done.

blueyacht · 09/03/2018 00:29

MN: NameChange for this as it's a bit outing!

RL: Sarah, we can all see it's you.

Prestonsflowers · 09/03/2018 00:43

@bluelady
I agree with you, it was so funny but has been derailed