PIL coming to DC swimming lessons

[Efferlunt]

For over a year now I’ve been taking my older two to swimming lessons with baby in tow. It’s the usual wrestling with wet children (baby in sling) in overheated poorly cleaned local pool, not my absolute favourite way to spend my time but a means to an end.

Recently the time of the lessons have changed and now DH can come too. That’s great. I did suggest that I could stay at home with baby but he thinks it will be a nice thing to do with the family. That’s fine we can get a coffee and chat etc while the kids are swimming, we’ve done this a few times now, all good.

DH couldn’t come to the last lesson. I get a call from FIL suggesting he drive MIL from the next town over to help me with it. I explained that while a nice thought I’d been doing it fine on my own for ages so they really didn’t need to drive from the next town over in the snow for no good reason - roads were horrible.

Anyway MIL said that in future she’d really like to come and help DH and I with swimming lessons because she’d love to see them swimming. Again I tried to explain that you don’t stay poolside during lessons so she’d have to admire them from a distance from the cafe viewing area where there are never enough seats. But she wants to come anyway.

FIL needs to drive her so they’d both come, so we would have four adults and a baby to take two kids swimming trooping in and out of the changing room etc. To me this sounds like making a mildly stressful situation worse. MIL means well but can be quite hard work and does get upset when things don’t meet her expectations so I can’t see this being the ideal time to spend time together and will probably strain our delicate relationship.

Okay so first world problem but AIBU to say no to this (it will cause offence) or just leave them to it and stay at home. It’s been suggested that I am. I’m also fine with them coming to ‘help’ with other activities just not bloody swimming.

TL:DR Aibu to say that you don’t need four adults to take two kids swimming and it actually causes more problems then it solves?

I’d be embarrassed to be that family.

YEP me too!

All those comments about Sarah where's your sock? Have you seen her sock Susan? Well we have to find the sock? Oh Dave have you seen Sarah's sock? She must've had it earlier? Shall I ask the attendant? Hang on Joes pants are wet. Why are your pants wet? Dave Joes pants are wet ......

God I hated those families drive me crackers

Recently the time of the lessons have changed and now DH can come too. That’s great. I did suggest that I could stay at home with baby but he thinks it will be a nice thing to do with the family

That's the point at which you should have laughed your head on and said no! If dh had wanted to do it then he takes baby and child and you stay home.

Swimming lessons are a pita even if you only go with the child who is swimming.

Otherwise say thanks pil, collect dc at xxtime and take him with pleasure while the rest of us chill.

There won't be all of that if there's only two adults in the changing room with one adult per child.

Are you breastfeeding the baby by any chance?

I expect the baby will need a feed (in the car, as the cafe is so busy) just as you arrive at the pool. I expect he/she will then fall asleep, and you won't dare move for fear of waking baby...

I can’t think of anything worse it’s so not relaxed pleasant family time.

I always take ds on my own and it’s so annoying when there is a whole extended family taking up seats when there’s clearly not enough to go round. I have to admit it really irritates me when I see grandparents tagging along with parents and usually other siblings too.

Yes I’m the sort of person who’s irritated at the pointless family outing to swimming. I don’t want to BE that family I’d be so embarrassed. I’d bet we’d bump into loads of school mums who would think we were absolute loons it would just add stress to the whole thing as well as inconveniencing everyone else. I know I’d end up snapping at them or the kids

It’s not unreasonable that pil want to spend time with us at all - I’m fine with them coming round for tea or meeting them for a walk a few times a month. I find mil v hard work but obviously it’s important for DH and kids to see them frequently so fine. I actually want to spend time with my DH and kids alone and I can see us loosing a whole day a week to my PIL every week.

I’ve tokd DH it’s ridiculous to have so have so many people coming. He’s going to speak to them try and put them off. If they insist on coming I won’t. I’ll meet them afterwards and plan a few things we’re we have to go straight off and do something else.

Don’t blame you op. I certainly wouldn’t want to be there getting flares from the parents who have no seat in the cafe because you’re family has decided to turn the swimming lesson into an extended family get together!