Have name changed for this - I’m curious if anyone else ever thinks of their first love, despite being happily married/settled?
I am very happily married to someone I consider my soulmate. We have 3 wonderful DDs, life is lovely.
But I sometimes find my mind wandering back to a person from my past - actually a very long time ago now - who was my first love, which ended in heartbreak (for me) and left a few wounds that I don’t think really healed.
I have no wish or desire to ever see this person again, and in fact, it would be really weird to do so, but I find myself thinking back and wondering what their life’s like etc and just, well, thinking about them I suppose. I have even found myself thinking about how life would be now if things had been different - that’s not to say I wish that. I absolutely don’t. I just, well, wonder I suppose.
Every time I do though, I feel so so guilty - to be thinking, sometimes what feels like a lot, about a person from a time before that has no place in the now and tomorrow. I find it confusing and a bit upsetting sometimes that this person can still creep into my thoughts, I suppose.
I just wondered if I was alone, or if anyone else ever thinks back? I feel like a bit of a wally asking this to be honest. But I’d be interested to see if this is fairly common or if I’m actually a bit nuts?