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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to force DP to smell my farts?

160 replies

Lovetosmell2918 · 03/03/2018 23:57

What it says on the tin really. I find it hilarious to hold his head under the blanket after I let rip. He finds it in equal parts gross and funny. And I started to wonder what mumsnet would think. Would they think I was being disrespectful or just juvenile. I like to wonder which of our couple friends do the same. He reckons none of them but I think they would say the same if us....yet we do it! The funny thing is I never thought I would ever be comfortable doing this in front of anyone else. And here I am.

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 04/03/2018 07:48

I love toilet humour and farting but that is disgusting. Yabfu.

OddS0ck · 04/03/2018 08:03

I'm not going into details in case OP is posting to get off on fart stories, but for those who think it's hilarious that this could ever be about abuse, you are so wrong.

My horribly abusive ex used to do this kind of thing when we were first married. I hated it but he thought it was so "funny". It was actually all about exerting dominance and ignoring boundaries.

I wasn't, still not, humourless about farts, just didn't want to be helplessly forced to inhale his.

Things soon escalated and I had years of hell before escaping.

So, yes, if he thinks it's gross, fucking pack it in. Why would you do something he genuinely doesn't like? Maybe find a healthier way of overcoming your hang ups?

Have you thought he doesn't just shove you off because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you? So you're taking advantage of his consideration.

To answer your question: yes it is disrespectful as he doesn't like it. It's also juvenile.

Jaygee61 · 04/03/2018 08:07

I don't think I could feel comfortable (quite literally) with someone I had to hide my natural bodily functions from.

Nor me! I still can’t quite believe that there are couples who pretend they don’t fart or poo.

OddS0ck · 04/03/2018 08:14

OP didn't ask if she should hide the fact she farts from her partner. We all fart, that's not the issue raised.

She asked if she's being unreasonable to force her partner to inhale her farts.

Different question.

Jaygee61 · 04/03/2018 08:41

I was replying to a reply to the OP. Is that not allowed? There was a recent thread about bathroom habits I had in mind too.

OP as your partner doesn’t seem to mind I would not worry about what others think!

Readermumof3 · 04/03/2018 08:54

Agree with @OddS0ck.

LegallyBronde · 04/03/2018 09:00

We do this to each other, giving them a "taste of my own brand" we call it and as long as it's mutually hilarious it's ok. I knew he was the one when I let the first one accidentally slip all those years ago and he exclaimed "wow Brondie, that was impressive" with a grin and a proud sort of look about him. He's a keeper Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 04/03/2018 09:04

I think somebody is looking forward to school tomorrow.

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 09:28

No i won't pack it in oddsock. I'm genuinely sorry about what happened to you but you haven't read my post properly or you've misunderstood. I wrote he half thinks it's gross half finds it funny and rolls his eyes. My relationship is not yours and our boundaries and sense of humour are fine.

OP posts:
affectionincoldclimate · 04/03/2018 09:49

@liz70 Glad it resonates (literally in some cases Grin)
And I recognise what you describe exactly. Sometimes he blames DD who is 11 months old as if I couldn't tell that the massive multilayered symphony of farts has definitely not come from her!

OddS0ck · 04/03/2018 10:04

@Lovetosmell2918 I did read your post properly and understood it.
Why ask if you're just going to carry on regardless? Do you enjoy this so much you needed to share it?

You asked if it is disrespectful to force your partner to inhale your farts? I think it is if he finds it partly gross. If he finds it even just partly gross you are crossing a boundary.

My ex would have claimed our boundaries are just fine too.

But carry on if you want. You asked and I answered your question. I thought you really wanted a range of views, not just affirmation.

PoundingTheStreets · 04/03/2018 10:05

I think it depends on your relationship.

For me it wouldn't work. Personally, I find that there is a level of bodily function intimacy that reduces sexual attraction 9even though it may otherwise increase an emotional bond). Other people don't find that at all.

The trick is to know which category you fall in and hopefully pair up with someone who is the same. When one of you dislikes it and the other refuses to respect that, you will have problems.

ferrier · 04/03/2018 10:18

Actually we don't all fart. You may fart and think that therefore everyone does but that doesn't make it true.
I only fart when I have an upset stomach. And I generally make sure to take myself off to a bathroom if I feel gassy. But when I'm well - no, I never fart.

OddS0ck · 04/03/2018 10:23

Good post Poundingthestreets. Succinctly put. Unlike mine!

Lilyargin · 04/03/2018 10:23

Topseyt “didn’t even admit to having an arse” has made me laugh out loud.

lynmilne65 · 04/03/2018 10:32

Have we changed name to 'teennet?' Pathetic

Sallystyle · 04/03/2018 10:35

It's fucking revolting and if my husband did that to me it would be a right turn off.

Yes, we fart in front of each other at times. It happens. I have IBS and sometimes it is impossible to leave the room before it happens. Forcing him to smell them would be disgusting.

Anyone who did that to me sure wouldn't be getting sex from me.

Perendinate · 04/03/2018 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 10:37

I wrote he half thinks it's gross half finds it funny and rolls his eyes.

Yes he only half finds it funny.

As I said earlier one day his patience with it may run out.

Worldsworstcook · 04/03/2018 10:41

I think it’s wonderful. You should keep a score chart where he rates the fart on stench and meatiness. Just avoid matches or smoking - I’m sure he has wonderful ways of payback,

Fairenuff · 04/03/2018 10:46

Am I the only person who immediately thought this is someone with a fetish getting a kick out of all the people sharing their fart stories?

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 10:48

@Fairenuff nope thought it too.

PorkFlute · 04/03/2018 11:17

If he does it as well then at least neither of you are sharing your habit with an unwilling partner!
It’s not for me though.

Sillyjelly · 04/03/2018 11:35

I don't much mind DP farting, but if her sense of humour was this poor I'd LTB. It's boring.

acquiesce · 04/03/2018 12:20

I don’t mind accidental farts in front of each other but I couldn’t cope with a Dutch oven, if DH did this to me I would go insane. And I couldn’t do it to him, I think as a PP said, it removes some of the mystique (and there ain’t much left after he’s seen you shove a 7lb human out of your hooha) and I think we would struggle to see the other as a sexual being and a farting/Dutch oven buddy simultaneously!!

OP, I’m genuinely curious - what are your poo boundaries like? Would you drop one while he’s in the bath or is that too far?

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