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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to force DP to smell my farts?

160 replies

Lovetosmell2918 · 03/03/2018 23:57

What it says on the tin really. I find it hilarious to hold his head under the blanket after I let rip. He finds it in equal parts gross and funny. And I started to wonder what mumsnet would think. Would they think I was being disrespectful or just juvenile. I like to wonder which of our couple friends do the same. He reckons none of them but I think they would say the same if us....yet we do it! The funny thing is I never thought I would ever be comfortable doing this in front of anyone else. And here I am.

OP posts:
squoosh · 04/03/2018 00:39

You actually hold his head? Sounds abusive.

Not this.

I know people on MN like to show their distaste in the most dramatic ways they can think of but to say the OP is abusing her partner is foolish. Most foolish.

AbsolutelyCorking · 04/03/2018 00:40

Read the OP’s username and draw your own conclusion. Obviously not for real.

Get a life OP you sound revolting.

AbsolutelyCorking · 04/03/2018 00:43

Sorry but abusive men often do abuse their partners in this way, not closing the door of the bathroom, deliberately making their wife smell them etc. it’s a very common form of controlling and abusive behaviour. On its own it is not abuse but it is common enough in abusive relationships for pp to not be unreasonable to say it’s abuse.

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 00:43

Just been reading his letters katzen Shock although I haven't seen anything about farts.

OP posts:
chickychickyparmparm · 04/03/2018 00:44

Agree that you sound like the type of person who says "I'm mad, me lol! Just kerrraaazy!"

squoosh · 04/03/2018 00:45

Joyce was famously into farts and anything that came from an orifice. He had an earthy love of Nora.

liz70 · 04/03/2018 00:45

"You do know that the goady click-bait threads on here are NEVER school children don't you?"

Umm... yes, it's simply a jibe at the perceived level of maturity of the OP. You do know that, don't you?

Loonyluna16 · 04/03/2018 00:45

@windchimesabotage oh my days you big abuser! Water over your husband! Outrageous.

I've been known to switch the hot tap on in the kitchen while DP is in the shower so the water runs cold. Don't phone the police

I can't get over the pearl clutching on this thread. Have a sense of humour ffs Wink

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 00:46

That's true corking. But on the limited details I've given and in the context it's hardly abusive. Massively wild leap to say it is.

Also enjoying the description that I'm bored jobless and eat my own bogies.

But yes I am enjoying the pearl clutching. Although I'm pleased to see there are a few kindred spirits around.

OP posts:
katzensocken · 04/03/2018 00:46

You will soon enough. He was heavily into sexual scat and flatulence. Not really my thing.

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 00:48

I have been known to fart in bed with my sister when she's stayed over. And she would be much more at home with the other half of the posters here. But she has a rather sterile outlook on the world.

OP posts:
oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:48

I've found a way to stop ds (4.5) nursing. I fart as soon as he tries and he runs off screaming. Grin

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:49

Abusive? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 00:51

Lol ops. That did make me laugh out loud. It's even funnier when children clutch their pearls and run around screaming.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 00:52

You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

So I just read this by Joyce and I'm a bit ShockShockBlush

Might have to wake up snoring DP and tell him what I've discovered. Think he'd be more annoyed by that than the farting in the face.

OP posts:
squoosh · 04/03/2018 00:54

Oh Joyce would have been shooed off of MN with a flea in his ear if he'd posted that here Grin

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:57

ShockEnvyGrin

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:59

DH gets really angry when I fart. To be fair they do smell like festering death burps from hell. I cleared an entire room in a club once. Blush

Jenasaurus · 04/03/2018 01:00

This reminds me of when we went to a lovely 5 star hotel abroad, I took my sons friend with us and the 2 teenagers amused themselves by farting in the lift and walking out, leaving the unsuspecting holidaymaker that waks in to smell the aroma! They were 15 year old boys mind so maybe more understandable.

Topseyt · 04/03/2018 01:03

Oh yes, enjoy the pearl clutches.

I've seen plenty of them on here claiming never to have farted in the presence of their DP/DH. Some even say that they go to the toilet simply to fart. All in order to keep up the pretence that they never fart and that those of us who do are lesser mortals.

I grew up in a family that didn't mind farts. DH grew up in one where you didn't even admit to having an arse, let alone ever farting.

Charliecatpaws · 04/03/2018 01:04

Yuk disgusting and disprepectful if as an adult you can't hold in flatulance to go to the bathroom to releave yourself, I find it awful if adults find it funny to break wind in front of each other...totally disprepectful and revolting, get a grip and grow up!

Charliecatpaws · 04/03/2018 01:06

Why the fuck would I want to smell another adults flatulance - fucking rotten

JonSnowsCloak · 04/03/2018 01:06

😂😂😂 some of the replies on here are hilarious!! We all fart it's a natural bodily function. It's not like the OP is saying AIBU to let one off in the office and waft it towards my boss. And if they find it amusing and DP is only offended by the smell it's just the same as normal messing around with your partner teasing them winding them up ie a normal relationship. Crack on OP

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 01:16

How is it pearl clutching to think it is disgusting to have someone force your head under a duvet and hold it there to smell the contents of their bowels that they just released through their arsehole?

It's disgusting and I would kick their fart arse out the bed on to the floor and make them stay there.

We are not talking about farting normally in front of a partner. Although you dont hear people walking around farting at work, farting in a GP surgery appointment, teachers farting, a cacophony of farting on public transport, etc so by and large people exercise control over it.

I would actually expect a partner to exercise a little control as they can do with others.

Original poster
Lovetosmell2918 · 04/03/2018 01:17

But I can exercise control. It's just I choose not to in front of my partner because I enjoy it, it's funny and he half finds it funny half rolls his eyes and regrets starting this game in the first place which makes it even more amusing to me.

OP posts: