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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBW to suspect that FWB has stolen my jewellery?

106 replies

Oakleygirl · 03/03/2018 22:27

Feeling really upset this evening....my FWB (of 7 months) appears to have stolen an expensive bracelet of mine. I left it at his last time I stayed there (3 weeks ago) and thought nothing of it as I imagined I would just get it back the next time we saw each other.....however, since then he has made arrangements to see me three times and then cancelled at the last minute.

I was supposed to see him tonight, never heard from him to confirm so messaged him just after 5 to ask what time to go over. He read message but didn't reply. I messaged again a couple of hours later to say I guessed he was busy but would need to pick up my bracelet and would knock when passing his to get it.

I went to his, (his car was outside) and called to ask him to pop out with the bracelet. It went to voicemail so I left a message asking if he could bring it out to me. He didn't so I knocked on the door, he didnt answer. He has now turned his phone off!

I am gutted as it was a present and he knows this. Can't believe he would do this, but what else can I think?

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 00:45

no one else gets to define what it is or isn’t

I think you will find they do.

By definition, it is not a relationship.

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 00:46

Hit post too soon.

That definition in mind: no relationship, you don't trust them as you would a committed partner.

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:51

I had a boyfriend once who nicked a ring my Gran had given me, diamond one my mum had given me and another diamond ring.

Then ghosted me.

Turns out he was a snack head. Asshole.

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 00:53

The police won't be interested. At least they weren't with my case.

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 00:54

His behaviour is bloody bizarre though. What an arsehole.

PeanutButterLips · 04/03/2018 01:00

He might have blocked your number hence why you think his phone is off.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/03/2018 01:40

The police won't be interested. At least they weren't with my case.

But will he know that? The reason I suggested mentioning the police was in the hope that the threat alone will have him return it.

LifeofClimb · 04/03/2018 02:02

Opps that is fucking terrible!

I’m afraid you did make me laugh at “snack head” though, I think I might try and use that phrase... Grin I know lots of snack heads

oppsthereshegoes · 04/03/2018 02:08

Bloody hell I didn't notice that!! Grin

I'm still gutted about it years later and am weird about having valuables around when people visit which is a horrible way to feel.

Mentioning the police might be good.

BitchQueen90 · 04/03/2018 05:38

A FWB isn't a partner, no, but the whole idea of it is that they're your friend and I hope I'd be able to trust my friends. I have a FWB and trust that he'd never steal from me, he's not my partner but we do treat each other with respect.

It's a shame OP. Some people are arseholes.

seventh · 04/03/2018 05:59

I think it's more likely that he's got someone else - and is embarrassed - than he's sold the bracelet. He'd get very little for it. Is he that needing of money?

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/03/2018 06:23

I’d also give him today to return it and failing that report it Monday.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/03/2018 06:36

I also think he had another woman with him when you went round.
Worse, she may consider herself an actual "girlfriend".
She may have found the bracelet and he, to get himself out of the hole of explaining about you, has given it to her as a gift.
You need to say that you want it returned ASAP or it will become a police matter, as you have his acknowledgement that he had it (you do still have that, don't you?) and you want it back NOW.
Of course once you do this, your FWB (and your friendship) is at an end - so it's up to you how quickly you move to that level - maybe give him another chance to return it before you get that far, maybe not.

Nikephorus · 04/03/2018 07:10

If he was going to steal it why would he even acknowledge having found it?
This ^^. It's more likely that he had another woman round when you turned up & he didn't want to have to explain why you'd left your bracelet there so he turned his phone off for peace & quiet (and a shag).
If you know when he gets home from work turn up at his front door just as he does so he can't avoid you....

LynetteScavo · 04/03/2018 07:39

Just tell him you need the bracelet and ask what time you can collect it.

He's so shagging someone else, but that's not the point.

Certcert · 04/03/2018 08:30

I've got a feeling you'll get it back. I think he's just playing games.

starlightafar · 04/03/2018 08:36

If a FWB is a friend you have sex with then how does that differ from a boyfriend?
I think men and women see this arrangement as very different. Most women would expect the arrangement to be exclusive. Most men would see it as a chance to have sex with whoever they want without being called a cheater.
I think the FWB situation only benefits one person, and it isn't the woman.

starlightafar · 04/03/2018 08:37

And if it is just sex and not ever going out on dates or anything, I wouldn't sell myself short or think that all I was worth was a leg over by someone who didn't give a shit. Because that's what it is, this thread has proved it.

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 08:45

The last possibility is that the op is calling him a fwb but he isn't and is in actual fact a fb or fuck buddy. Not a friend but just someone you sleep with.

I cant believe the bizarre theories over the bracelet. Theft. Given it to his new gf. Sold it.

In all likelihood if anything has happened to it he has just misplaced it.

RowenasDiadem · 04/03/2018 09:08

@FreeNiki OP said they had been friends for a year before becoming FWB so not a duck buddy I wouldn't think. OP I hope you get your bracelet back. For a £200 piece of jewellery with added sentimental value I would be hammering his door down and demanding it back. No messing around with unanswered texts of a ghosting man.

RowenasDiadem · 04/03/2018 10:05

fuck buddy** not duck buddy. Ducking hell autocorrect, who the duck says duck buddy or duck off?

Greenkit · 04/03/2018 10:12

Tell him to return it today or you will have no other option than to report it to the police as a theft

FreeNiki · 04/03/2018 10:24

I'd like a duck buddy though Rowena. Little pet duck.

Or just show up on door step

GlitteryFluff · 04/03/2018 10:51

Hope you get it back op

GladAllOver · 04/03/2018 12:59

Another vote here for another of his FWB visitors taking it. He might even have forgotten which lady visitor it belongs to.

The police won't be interested.

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