Is anyone up ?

[lovemynewflowers]

Just had a call from my mum saying she wants to die , she can't see , the Care home don't understand her needs, she's in so much pain everywhere and she just wants to end it all.

Dm is in Care Home due to a brain tumour diagnosed July 2016 , and in final stages now (probably 1-2 months left approx).

What do I do? Should I go in to see her right now? I am 10 mins in Good driving conditions , but it's snowy out and even though it's a town some areas aren't gritted but I do have a 4x4. I have rung her Care home and they are going in to check on her.

HELP

Order more copies of death certs than you think you’ll need. Especially if will and finances are complex.

The care home may be happy to take some of the clothes for you.

When we offered a thank you gift of cash to the fantastic staff (to put towards a night out or Christmas do), they accepted it, but said they would prefer to spend it on treats for the residents eg fish and chip suppers. I’m sad the staff didn’t get the ‘reward’, but it just goes to show what fantastic care staff they were. I was in tears.

I have an Apple pie which I could give to the staff.
I will get some extra copies good idea.

So sorry. Thinking of you

I’m so sorry OP. You have been so strong your mum would have been so proud of you. Your children have one amazing mummy.

When you register your mum they'll have a tell us once service they'll inform Hmrc Dwp dvla passport and council. It was really helpful for me.

I don’t know how to link but AgeUk have have a step by step guide about what to do when someone dies. It tells you what ID and forms you will need.
Depending on where you live there is a service called Tell Us Once which informs multiple government agencies at once.

I will need to pay the funeral directors within 3 days of finalising everything , and the manager at the bank told me that they would unfreeze the accounts for me to pay for funeral and then freeze them back up whilst probate was going on.
Should I freeze them straight away tomorrow as I won't get to the funeral home until Thursday probably ?

Oh OP so very sorry to read your updates.

Thinking of you

Sorry to see your update

This gov site has some useful information and a link to the “tell us once scheme”, which helps cut down on the red tape

here

I'm so sorry Flowers

You're so young to be dealing with this - do you have any siblings/other family/DP who you can lean on?

Get someone to make sure you're eating and drinking - even sweet tea is better than nothing.

Also let the funeral director guide you - remember they do this every single day and have done for years. Ask them for help.

Big big hugs; be very gentle with yourself x

This will be outing but I am just a little peeved to have received a phone call from SS to say that there was a report made against me on Monday (Day before dm died) saying that I had posted on Facebook asking if anyone could have my dc2 and /or pick up my DC1 from Nursery at the end of the day.
I did indeed post this , but aibu to think that it was a crisis situ (she was bloody comatose , a slight shock!) and I shouldn't be scapegoated whilst I have everything else going on.

In other news death certificate is ready to go , so off to register it. Have almost finished doing her room, don't even have time to grieve. Miserable times.

I'm hoping to use the Tell Us Once service , I also contended the solicitor yesterday to inform him and get the wheels in motion.

I'd be peeved too. Do you have lots of acquaintances on FB who maybe haven't met you in RL? As well as closer friends an family.

I'm sure you weren't going to hand your kids over to a random you don't know. If sw saw the risk they would have been in touch days ago.

They might also have been able to offer a foster carer to help out in those tough few days.

Hugs hope you are doing ok.

The post was intended more for my "mummy" friends locally , it was hardly a post on Craigslist!

That's what I would have assumed if I saw it. Do you have the nursery on FB? They might have felt obliged to report.

No , he was actually in nursery 9-3 that day and was picked up by his best friends mum when she collected anyway at 3 so all above board , password protected etc.
Bizzare.

Fucking hell OP.

What a bizarre thing for someone to do

How many death certificates should I get at the registry office?

1 the people you need to send it to will copy it and send it straight back. The bank will probably copy it and give you it back when you go to deal with the account.

How did you get on?
Hope you're bearing up ok.

I'd forget about the SW call. Clearly somebody with nothing better to do with their time.

Got a lot done thank you, early night I think!!

Sorru to read this thread OP, sounds like you're holding up really well and getting everything done. I found my dad's funeral very hard - make sure you have friends/ family there to support you and help with the kids on the day. i would recommend getting a few copies of death cert as even though places are meant to send it back, it's not worth the hassle if that goes wrong. Make life as easy for yourself as you can right now, it's going to be a hard few weeks x