Is anyone up ?

[lovemynewflowers]

Just had a call from my mum saying she wants to die , she can't see , the Care home don't understand her needs, she's in so much pain everywhere and she just wants to end it all.

Dm is in Care Home due to a brain tumour diagnosed July 2016 , and in final stages now (probably 1-2 months left approx).

What do I do? Should I go in to see her right now? I am 10 mins in Good driving conditions , but it's snowy out and even though it's a town some areas aren't gritted but I do have a 4x4. I have rung her Care home and they are going in to check on her.

HELP

Thinking of you and your family OP

Notsosure things have moved on since the beginning of thread.

Op I'm thinking of you at this really difficult time. Hope you got some sleep.

So drained but we are here with her now. I definitely feel I have said goodbye , so I won't actually be by her side anymore as it just feels wrong now. I hope I'm not making a mistake.

I’m so sorry x

It really does sound the sooner she slips away the better. I'm sorry this is such a heart breaking few days.

Everyone keeps hassling me to go in and see her ,as I am obviously the most important person in her life.
I just don't want to. She has the death rattle now too apparently.

Dear OP

There are no mistakes, you can only do what is right at the time. Major life, and death, events don’t happen in isolation, they happen while everything else, including our emotions, is carrying on around us.

Go with what your heart and your head tells you to.

Oh OP

Have been there. It's so hard. Don't let anyone hassle you - as Enrique says there re no right or wrongs for this.

Big hugs and I hope she slips off soon

Can someone get you a cup of tea and a biscuit? You won't feel like either but try your hardest

xxxxxx

I am so sorry OP . Do what you feel is best for you I hope you're lovely mom is comfortable. I lost my mom when I was 19 and sitting with her when she died was one of the hardest things I have ever done but equally one of the best. Thinking of you

I went in with the vicar to pray with her and the sound my DM was making was just horrid, I felt so distressed. It was too much to bear. I kept trying to pull myself together (and made it through the Lord's Prayer ) but it was too much.

just do what you feel is right, no right and wrong X

she will have heard you and will have got great comfort from it x

I've organised a procession of all her friends coming in to say their goodbyes , I hope she can hear them all.

Your a star. Your mum would be proud of you. Xx

I'm sorry to say that she passed at 5pm this afternoon. I had stepped out for an hour or so to do the nursery run, and she decided to leave this world at that exact moment.
I believe she was waiting for me to go so she could have her last moments quietly.
So here I am, 23 with no parents left but with 2 small ones of my own, who will never forget their granny , or me ,my mum.

Prayers to all who have lost a dear one

Oh OP, you poor soul. I hope your mum rests in peace, and my condolences are offered to you and your family.

Really, really sorry op. I hope your mum is at peace now and you have the support you need

I’m so sorry Flowers

She’s at peace now

So sad for you and that you lost her when you are still so young yourself and have little ones. Sending you a hug.

I'm so sorry. It sounds like she went peacefully in the end.

I can't imagine being so young without my parents. Sending tons of love and best wishes.

So so sorry OP

So sorry OP.

I’m so sorry. Love to you and your family x

I'm so sorry op, you did the absolute best you could in extremely distressing circumstances. Your mum I'm sure would be incredibly proud of you.

Thank you all - I am going to register the death first thing after nursery run tomorrow morning , freeze banking and clear out her room in the home.
It feels weird , I've rung everyone who isn't on social media and everyone else has got the message on SM or by word of mouth.

If anyone feels able, would they jot me down a list of jobs that need to be done now that she has died? The funeral director rang me earlier to say my mum had been transferred to her care which was a soothing thought.