AIBU and about to overshadow SIL's pregnancy announcement?

[Upsidedownandinsideout]

SIL as I get on well though we don't know each other all that well (live in different towns, and she is a very private person).
She told DH once that they have been trying for 4 years and much heartache to get pregnant. She's now messaged the family WhatsApp (our main way to communicate, as most are overseas) to announce that she's 9 weeks along with her first pregnancy, and is visiting us on Saturday, I think because she is very excited and wants to talk. We are also thrilled and very happy to hear all about it!

Thing is... I am now 13 weeks pregnant with an unexpected DC4. We hadn't said anything until the scan, but were also planning to message family this weekend.

DH says it feels dishonest to hear her talk about pregnancy and keep quiet, only to reveal a week later, and she'll be the focus anyway in the circumstances. All true, but after so long I don't want to take anything away from her moment.

WIBU to tell her when she visits this weekend, in a low key way, and announce to the family? Or should I wait until a week or 2 after?

It sounds like it went well and yes lovely for you to have the close cousins. My aunt struggled to conceive and by the time she had her child all of his cousins on both sides were mid teens and older, my aunt isn't very big on family gatherings etc, she really felt he had missed out on something that older cousins had enjoyed.

I'm glad you got your moment to tell her. It sounds like she suspected anyway. You may well find she is less distant now she can share this. I know I would have been ecstatic to share the journey with someone but my friends family had all had kids earlier, and they felt too busy to put much effort into mine.

We had fertility treatment for dd.

I know my sister in law felt nervous about telling us she was pregnant, while we were waiting for treatment. I was thrilled for them.

We were fortunate to be successful on our first icsi ( the next three cycles for a sibling failed).
I told family that knew about the treatment straight away. I told my manager in work earlier than expected as we thought I had miscarried. I told everyone else after my scan.

She may feel happy to tell people as she would have had a scan at 6 to 7 weeks and possibly another at 9 weeks.

I would be guided by how the visit goes. I can understand why you think waiting is tm right, but as others gave said, it would be harder for both of you if anything happened just before you announced.

If I had been in her shoes, I would have appreciated the other person thinking of my feelings, but would be more excited that there would be someone sharing the journey with me.

Best wishes to both of you.