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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to stop sister's online hate campaign against me? It's progressed to sinister levels.

129 replies

snapperstickers68 · 02/03/2018 22:11

I have a difficult communication to compose to my mother about my abusive sister.

Briefly, my sister has kept a sustained online hate campaign against me for a few years now. My ex partner (father of my kids) joined in at one point too but his campaign was so strong Facebook took action against him.

2 years ago I asked my sister to halt else I'd have to involve police. Her response was to get the police to issue a PIN notice on me, making the exact claims that I would have made about her.

The difference being I have over 200+ screenshots of her actions, and she has zero of mine, because I don't retaliate. So the PIN was retaliatory.

I did call the police after that and they 'had a word' but didn't issue a PIN.

Two years later I've asked them to have a word again (no PIN) because she just won't stop.

That was about 2 weeks ago.
She's now progressed to using my real name in her public posts, and is convincing strangers (to me) that I am unhinged, mentally ill, manipulative, etc etc She is following almost word for word and actions the same script my ex partner worked from.

As online harassment is now a criminal offence not a civil one, the only option left to me is either a PIN notice or have her arrested. Our Mum won't intervene. Mum often collides with her, (my partner explained she probably feels guilty because she was physically and mentally abusive to me as a child) and it all seems to add up how everyone's behaving.

The 'projection' of my sister's behaviour onto me, claiming I am now harassing her, when it is actaully her. I don't write about her online, we have no contact. But she insists to strangers I am.

If I asked for her to be arrested and spoken to properly by police, she would probably do the same to me in retaliation as she did with the PIN notice.

My ex partner used to do this, police were called dozens of times on him, police would get there and he'd say, 'it's her, she's mentally ill, sorry to waste your time officers...' that sort of thing.
I went into A&E a couple of times with injuries of course I never said he did it, but he'd say the classic 'she walked into a door. She has one wonky eye so she can't see where she's going'.

Anyway, I need to compose a brief text to my Mum, pleading without sounding threatening, for her to once and for all convince my sister what she's doing is destructive, and that if she doesn't stop, she'd be arrested at this stage now.

They don't know that all this gives me massive anxiety, not depression I'm an upbeat person really, but I walk around wondering, yet again as I used to whenI was with my ex, if people believe her claims about me that I'm crazy or evil.

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 15/03/2018 16:49

It does sound very much like jealousy and envy. I think i would pity her because she must have a sad life to behave like this.

LoveProsecco · 15/03/2018 21:04

Wow OP you sound so calm. It does sound like envy so well done for taking the high road

Queenoftheblitz · 15/03/2018 22:38

It doesn't sound like she was evev a nice person when her life was going well.
And with your update regarding your DP, of course she's jealous of you.
You are right to ignore until she goes so far that you have no choice but to take further action.
But by ignoring her, you are not allowing her back into your life.
And you need to go NC with your mum. A drama queen who gave your ex a home is not someone you should have in your life.
It's sad it's come to this but I had to go NC with a sister. No regrets. Only relief that her poison can't touch me again.
It takes a while to see them for what they are but eventually liberating.

Queenoftheblitz · 15/03/2018 22:38

It doesn't sound like she was evev a nice person when her life was going well.
And with your update regarding your DP, of course she's jealous of you.
You are right to ignore until she goes so far that you have no choice but to take further action.
But by ignoring her, you are not allowing her back into your life.
And you need to go NC with your mum. A drama queen who gave your ex a home is not someone you should have in your life.
It's sad it's come to this but I had to go NC with a sister. No regrets. Only relief that her poison can't touch me again.
It takes a while to see them for what they are but eventually liberating.

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