Broken down motorists and no booze

[Justwanttosayplease]

Cut to the chase. Live remotely on a hill and the drive runs down to the main road, which is starting to clog up due to an awesome snow storm and we are a long way either direction to neighboring towns. The fires are lit (we have two, not a stealth boast just frickin cold) and the house looks warm and inviting from the road. Have had stranded motorists before and put them up for the night. Big problem - no booze.

What can we do?

Surely there is a crusty bottle of Baileys or Adovcat lurking somewhere?

Yeah well you invited the devil in and now you have to entertain hell.....

But seriously, if you need some decent mixers or a 'guest-dilution service' just let me know. I'm ginger. Guaranteed to poop on any party.

Honestly @Justwanttosayplease I'd seriously consider using my services. I'll even give you a mumsnet discount. On the QT obvs!

You were just a bit too slow to catch them pressing their naked bodies together to keep warm of course. They saw your light coming towards them and he didn’t have time to put them on. His underwear is probably in his pocket.

@rcat I think it's class a mood altering drugs that are needed now. Possibly ketamine. But you didn't hear it from me.

@PositivelyPERF stop stop STOP WITH YOUR SPREAD-SHAMING RHETORIC.

I may have to stage a protest at speakers' corner now.

Shall we start a crowdfunding to buy him some socks?

I'll give 5p, I'm generous like that

I’ve been stranded alone with a toddler since Tuesday. I want someone to come and feed me lukewarm tia Maria and fret about my lack of appropriate socks, dammit!

How many tia Marias are you going to give them before you appear dressed as tim curry?

Is there a message in justwanttosayplease’s description of the couple

They were trying to get to Cheltenham, definitely civil servants. Car says so. She wants a gin martini.

How far is to Cheltenham then?

Gin martini? Is she Jane Bond?

There's a light.......over at the @Justwanttosayplease place

So, they are not a couple couple. Do you only have one spare bed? That's going to set the office gossips on fire.

@Justwanttosayplease 'I'm just going to slip into something a little more comfortable'

OK OP you have sorted out the booze situation, but if it's going to go all naughty, have you got enough condoms and lube? Or at least a roll of clingfilm?

Don't worry re lack of booze. Antifreeze will be a handy substitute.

She wants her gun martini, shaken not stirred.

Go proper, full on Northern (and I speak as a northerner):

'A gin martini? Gin martini? Thee'll 'ave a fuggin' warm Tia Maria and be thankful? Is there t'sign ovver th'ouse sayin' T'Ritz? Gin martini indeed!'

Then shake your head & epically tut.

@Draylon WE'Ve GOT THIS. Don't freak OUT ON ME NOW!!!!!!!!

Isn’t GCHQ in Cheltenham?

@Justwanttosayplease I can relay a mojito to you in the style of the original (ie written) 101 Dalmation.

Seriously, google it. Dodie smith encapsulated the Dunkirk spirit in Doggie Form.

Twilight Bark anyone?