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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you met your DP?

109 replies

Coastalcommand · 02/03/2018 17:29

My lovely friend is very down. She’s been Internet dating for a few months and now believes all men are, as Bridget Jones once said: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts.

She’s deleted all her accounts and is now looking for real life alternatives.

Could I ask you clever lot how you met and wooed your partners please?

OP posts:
Tangoandcreditcards · 03/03/2018 07:33

At the cricket / introduced by a friend.

minmooch · 03/03/2018 07:37

I met quite a few nice men OLD. Some short telatioships that didn't work out. I don't regret them because each relationship establishes what you do and don't like about someone, what you will accept and won't accept in a relationship. And hopefully if and when you meet someone who is right for you you will know.

I decided after the last OLD relationship that I couldn't be bothered any more. Was happy to stop looking and remain single. Met my man the next night at my local pub, we live 5 mins away from each other and have been together ever since we met a year ago.

MsVestibule · 03/03/2018 07:41

OLD, in the early days (2005) when I think most of the men on there were actually looking for a relationship rather than a ONS. I met a few lovely men but we just didn't click.

I then met my now DH. Thought 'yeah, he's OKish, if he asks me on another date, I'll go'. A few months later, when we were on the verge of splitting up, I became pregnant. I moved him with him when I was 34 weeks pregnant and within four years of our first date, we were married with two children!

I always thought I would 'just know' when I met the right man, but despite our less than romantic start, we're really, really happy together.

Tisfortired · 03/03/2018 07:45

In sixth form, on my first day I worked into my first class, and I spotted him straight away. The next class, he was in that one too! We share dan awkward smile. Last class of the day - guess what - he was in that one too! I think he said something like are you following me? And that's how we got chatting.

It still makes me laugh how it of hundreds of students, all the subjects we could have chosen, and we choose the same 3 a levels and put in the same 3 groups.

11 years and a DS later I still feel so lucky to have him.

Tisfortired · 03/03/2018 07:46

Wow, can we blame the amount of spelling mistakes in that post on said DS being up since 4am?

mmzz · 03/03/2018 07:48

At a conference. He was seated next to me. We've been together over 20 years now and we're in it for the long haul. We've been through so much and the bad times just make us stronger. No one could ever replace that.
The problem your friend is having is that the good ones are usually already in a relationship.

T2517 · 03/03/2018 07:52

Plenty of fish. He sent me a bit of a weird message that was weirdly intense - something about listening to music in the dark. I went on the first date really not expecting much and ended up seeing each other every night for two weeks. A year later and we’re totally smitten and planning to move in together. Don’t give up!

ChesterFuckingDraws · 03/03/2018 07:57

Across a police station chargebar!
We’re both police employees though so all above board. Together for 10 years married 3.

MirandaWest · 03/03/2018 07:58

We met on okcupid

CampariSpritz · 03/03/2018 08:58

On the tube (District line between Earls Court & Parsons Green). He asked me what I was reading. For once, not utter drivel (Wolf Hall). Turned out he didn’t know one Cromwell from the other (Thomas / Oliver). I tried to give him the slip at turnstiles at Parsons Green, but we ended up chatting there for 40 minutes, then he suggested the pub. The rest is history.

I hope your pal finds someone nice. Singledom can be fab, but it can also be hard when there are knockbacks (or as Tenbob said better, a succession of weirdo losers). This thread made me smile & I hope it makes her smile too.

Pinkprincess1978 · 03/03/2018 09:19

We met at work, apparently he fancied me for 6 months and told a few people so someone arranged a night out and got us together. That was nearly 17 years ago. We continued to work together for 15 years until I left.

Work is a great place to meet people, I know a few who met their partners at work.

Littlelambpeep · 03/03/2018 09:25

Local bar / nightclub

MisguidedAngel · 03/03/2018 09:37

Number 1 at a dance back in 1960, married for 27 years, he left me.
Number 2 at work, 5 year fling, he was 14 years younger
Number 3 he advertised in the local free paper - I suppose the equivalent of OLD in those days - been together 23 years

Between 2 and 3 I went to singles clubs and met a lot of tossers, one of whom I dated a few times and then found out he was married.

A lot of my friends do OLD, and pp's are right, you just have to keep meeting people and get rid at the very first red flag (which includes your own gut feeling). There are decent men out there.

RoboticSealpup · 03/03/2018 09:50

He was a friend's colleague and I went to their company Christmas party as her plus one. I had gone to get a drink and when I came back, he was sitting on chair, talking to my friend. He got up when he saw me and apologized for taking my seat... I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight for both of us... Blush

BustersBloodVessel · 03/03/2018 09:51

On a flight to Japan. I was the air hostess and he was the passenger....

sillyswimmer · 03/03/2018 10:17

We met through POF. I had lots of fun online dating and didn't actually meet many weirdos (I think I managed to weed them out with messages). It sounds corny but from the moment I saw my DPs profile I knew I had to meet him. That was 3 years ago and we're really happy.

A couple of friends have struggled with OLD. When they asked my advice I told them to not take it too seriously and have fun. They've taken my advice and are now enjoying it.

Trinity66 · 03/03/2018 10:18

I met him through my brother one night when I bumped into him in a night club

Icklepickle101 · 03/03/2018 10:20

Tinder Grin

madsiemoomoo · 03/03/2018 11:44

Tinder!

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 03/03/2018 11:51

Met mine through friends. We both worked for the same company but different venues (5 minutes apart). We were both separated after marriage failures and not looking for anything but became friends.

I'd actually met him briefly 6 months before all of this when he was out with our mutual friends. All completely rat arsed but he was funny and really the life and soul of the party (in a non annoying way). I really fancied him but didn't say anything.

Eventually after being friends for a while a handful of us went on a very last minute night out. The other seemed to all disappear leaving us alone and that's when I told him I'd liked him for ages. He thought I was joking and it took about a week to convince him. It was all a bit of a whirlwind after that but we're so happy. We have 3 sons between us and another on the way this May 😊

I have honestly had the most horrific bad luck when it comes to love and this still feels like a dream sometimes.

AiryFairy1 · 03/03/2018 11:54

In a night club - he was the DJ Grin (but we had mutual friends)

SomewhereInbetween1 · 03/03/2018 13:06

In a pub, keeping it old school 👌

cheshiremama89 · 03/03/2018 13:09

Watched him perform in a show, we then kept bumping into each other, fate kept bringing us together.

Auntpetunia2015 · 03/03/2018 13:18

No 1 on holiday. Married 23 years together 26...he got bored ! (So did I )
Current..tinder he lives local and is perfect for me. Together 2 years now

Sassychiccy · 03/03/2018 13:18

Pre-school.