AIBU about parents not allowing us stay

[snowangel85]

Hi I'm just wondering if iabu or not. We're currently stuck in the house with no heat or electricity since last night with small kids. My parents don't live too far away but they've electricity and heat although they've only a two bed cottage it is only the two of them. They know our situation as I rang them to see if they were ok considering the snow and stormy weather we are having. All my mum said hope you's get it back soon there was no offer of putting us up. We know the roads there are passable as DH has managed to get out earlier. I know if the situation was reversed I'd be first to offer them somewhere warm to stay. MIL has told us to make our way over to hers in the mean time although it's a further journey. AIBU? I know if it was me and my children needed somewhere to stay no matter what age they were I'd out put them up even if everyone had to sleep on the floor.

I don't think you are BU. I say this because I know in your situation my mother would offer us to stay and I would do the same for my DC.

Can you cook food? Boil hot water?

Perhaps they've lived through similar situations and don't see it as a big deal?

Did you ask her? You cant say they won't allow you to stay if you haven't actually asking you can stay

Asked if you can*

YANBU, how awful of them. I'd be thinking twice before offering them any help in the future. Even if they've been through something similar before they should realise how hard it is. I hope you get sorted out soon.

Make a mental note to tell them to get stuffed next time they need your help.

I can see how it would appeal from your point of view,. but perhaps the idea of putting up two adults and (don't know how many) "small children", in a two bedroomed cottage, for an indefinite period of time in snowy weather is not their idea of a good time.

If you were desperate, maybe you should have asked clearly, rather than just hoped they'd absorb your intentions over the phone.

But I do hope you get your electricity back soon.

YANBU-I would offer a family member or friend somewhere warm to stay without blinking in this weather, and I think most normal people in RL would do the same. I imagine that it must be very hurtful that your own parents didn't do this. Was it perhaps a misunderstanding? Is there any chance that because you didn't ask directly, they thought that you didn't want to risk the journey (I may be clutching at straws here)

Just ask.

Although you didn't ask, it is a disgrace that she didn't offer.

Not able to cook food but I've bread and salads and stuff so we won't starve but definitely feeling the cold seeping into house. I'm hoping it will be back this evening but worried if it's not and we left it too late roads would be bad again

I'd probably prefer to stay where I was, so would assume that you'd ask directly if you wanted to stay.

I would be disappointed in my parents in your circumstances, but it depends on your relationship with them. In my case I would have just turned up and my DM would have expected me to do that, and in fact would have asked why I did not come to hers if I hadn't. But I sense this is not the sort of relationship you have. Can you ring them just to let them know that your MIL is putting you up, subtly hinting that you would have liked to have gone to theirs? Otherwise take comfort from the fact that your MIL has offered!!

Could have asked

Just ask her ffs, get the hump if she says no but not because you didn't ask and she didn't think to offer

Did you ask?

I would have asked!

(but my Mum would have offered straight away, anyway)

We didn't ask but last time me and DH we're due to go to a party near my parents house and mum kept saying to me you's should stay rather than trying to get home that night which we accepted. Then the night before the party she told me she and my dad had decided to go away and we couldn't stay anymore as she'd have no way to give me a key.

As PP said - you may well be 'allowed' to stay with them, but you haven't asked. Ring her back and ask her.

She may not know that the roads are passable. Ask her. She has not said no yet.

Just ask, they're not mind readers. Maybe they think you have people helping you out already, or theyre just thoughtless.

Did you ask, you just assume your parents would understand how uncomfortable you are and profer an invitation?

yanbu and she's a selfish knobber

Why on Earth don't you just ask her directly?

It's not fair to say they won't allow you to when what you mean is that they haven't offered. That is two entirely different things. Why wouldn't you just ask?

Wouldn't anyone with an ounce of decency offer? The MiL did.