AIBU about parents not allowing us stay

[snowangel85]

Hi I'm just wondering if iabu or not. We're currently stuck in the house with no heat or electricity since last night with small kids. My parents don't live too far away but they've electricity and heat although they've only a two bed cottage it is only the two of them. They know our situation as I rang them to see if they were ok considering the snow and stormy weather we are having. All my mum said hope you's get it back soon there was no offer of putting us up. We know the roads there are passable as DH has managed to get out earlier. I know if the situation was reversed I'd be first to offer them somewhere warm to stay. MIL has told us to make our way over to hers in the mean time although it's a further journey. AIBU? I know if it was me and my children needed somewhere to stay no matter what age they were I'd out put them up even if everyone had to sleep on the floor.

I can't believe a parent wouldn't offer straightaway to get you out of that situation.

I'd be starting mince and dumplings or something and making up the second bedroom whilst you were on your way.

Did you ask or just expect her to offer? If you didn't ask, then you can't really say they "haven't allowed" you to stay. I think you are probably over-reacting. Assuming your mother is otherwise a good mum, I think it's a bit harsh of those calling it a disgrace. Maybe a bit thoughtless, at worst.

Perhaps your mum doesn't know the roads are clear? Or maybe she thinks you would prefer to stay where you are rather than risk the journey? In your situation, I would prefer to stay put. And yes, I am well acquainted with what it's like to be without power (and for extended periods, also with small children and cold weather). It's not ideal but really, it isn't the end of the world either. Especially if it is only for a day or so.

l totally understand how you feel about this. Years ago l lived two streets away from my mother. When my boiler wasn't working, obviously l had no hot water. (it was the summer, so not bothered about heating at the time).
Even though l'd told my mother l had no hot water, hence not able to bathe/wash my hair, she didn't offer. l ended up driving five miles each way to a kind friend who let me use his bathroom.
When l broached it with her later once the boiler was fixed, and told her l'd had to go to a friend, she said "well you should have asked!"
l didn't think l should have had to. Surely letting your daughter have a bath isn't putting her out?
l hope you get sorted soon. There's no accounting for folk.

Does your father know what the situation is?

I'm in the you should have asked camp.

I too can't get my head round why you didn't ask, if you wanted to saty with them

OP I feel your pain,but in all honesty,you didn't actually ask her! Or do your parents have 'form' for this sort of thing? If not,call her back and ask her. I had a similar experience,many years ago now. In January 1987,we had awful weather,not quite as bad as this,but not far off. The water pipes in the loft froze,the boiler packed up and the toilet wouldn't flush. I phoned my DM and asked if me and my 3.5 year old DD could go and stay at hers for a few days,until the worst was over (she had none of the problems I had plus she had a spare room). Honestly,you'd have thought I'd asked for something outrageous the way she reacted. Started huffing and puffing and saying I couldn't go running to her every time I had a problem (which I swear I had never done so I was a bit ). I said not to worry then. An hour later she phoned me back and apologised and said of course we could go!

Having experienced similar treatment from a family member and even being told during a two minute visit, where they kept their coat on, that "it wasn't too cold in here" YANBU.

I would ask them. It is way too cold to deal with all the hell of no hot water or heating. I am remembering all the boiling of saucepans & kettles to have am inch bath. In this weather that doesn't bear thinking about.

Just ask her! If they says no the they ABU. If you don't ask you ABU.

The amount of people on AIBU that expect others to be mind readers is ridiculous! Of course it would have been nice if they offered but people don't always think of things like that. Maybe, wrongly, they have assumed that you wouldn't want to travel or that the roads are too dangerous. Just ask them.