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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you employ household staff if money were no object?

266 replies

UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 14:51

I'm a Nanny and I work in a household of 20+ staff. Mum doesn't work.
I was wondering today whether, if money were no object, I'd have a similar set up or not.

For context, there are several children, each with their own nanny and I manage those nannies, in a "Head Nanny" role.
There are also several housekeepers, butlers, maids, chauffeurs etc.
The family consists of the children and both parents.

I think I'd HAVE to go out to work, even though I wouldn't need to, as I get bored incredibly easily. But I suspect that I'd get bored of my job and then end up starting new things again and again. (In short, I'd suck at being wealthy)

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, this is in AIBU because it was going to be "AIBU to be uncomfortable with the idea of household staff?" but then I thought I'd get ripped apart for not being neutral

OP posts:
LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 02/03/2018 16:45

Yes! We've got a cleaning and gardening service and a nanny but I'd be happy with more! When my parents lived in India they had 14 members of staff... those were the days!

lightoflaluna · 02/03/2018 16:47

I definitely would, provided i had plenty of space to be alone. I'd have nannies to do the playing and stuff that i find a bit boring and to look after them so i could go out alone or be ill in peace as needed. I'd have a cook but probably not every night. I'd want a personal trainer to kick me into shape. Definitely a housekeeper, gardener and handyman

Elementtree · 02/03/2018 16:49

This is what I think about when I daydream about winning the lottery and I have decided that there is not one job I'd be unhappy to outsource.

Nanny
Housekeeper
A governor, to keep the kids on their toes through the holidays.
Cook
Gardener
PA
A chauffeur
Cleaners
A clothing person to fetch nice clothes and shoes for everyone, there's a name for that, right?
An IT person to sit around and fix shit that breaks.
A Lego sorter and finder
A present finder and wrapper.

I'm going to need to win the euro-millions.

MrsHathaway · 02/03/2018 16:55

Staff are absolutely the first thing I'll spend money on once DH works out how to choose the right Euromillions numbers. Big houses don't look after themselves and neither do DC.

I'd definitely have someone to:

  • clean the house
  • launder (including keeping track of sizing)
  • clean, fuel and maintain cars
  • garden
  • look after animals so I could do the fun bit without the slog (no rainy dog walking for me)
  • cover day to day cooking and food planning/shopping: it used to be fun when I didn't have to do it all the time
  • keep track of money so bills are settled automatically and we don't have to research insurance and utilities deals

I don't know about a nanny. I like the idea of not having to be around all the time but there always being someone familiar at home to tie shoelaces/listen to stories about Minecraft/watch crap telly with/nag about homework.

It's part of the same motivation: so that when you're spending time with the DC it's quality time and not dashing hither and yon, trawling round the supermarket, etc. If you're not washing up you've got time to read them a book. Or if nanny is picking up DC1 from a club then DC3 doesn't have yet another half hour in the car to no personal gain.

MrsHathaway · 02/03/2018 16:58

its just a matter of freeing up the wife work from my bosses brain

YES PLEASE

vampirethriller · 02/03/2018 16:59

I'm also a nanny/housekeeper. I wouldn't have a nanny myself but I would have someone do my cleaning and laundry because after years of doing my own and other peoples I can't bloody stand itGrin

AppleKatie · 02/03/2018 16:59

I’d have:

Housekeeper
Cleaner
Gardener
Part time Nanny (prob mornings only- starting from the 6am shift..)
Personal Trainer

And I definitely wouldn’t work as well. I’d do charity work that interests me and work with the personal trainer.

And swim in my private pool/go in my sauna. A lot.

DrWhy · 02/03/2018 17:01

Absolutely! When we lived overseas we had an amazing Amah, we had no children at the time but in 13 hours a week she did all our washing, ironing and putting away, cleaning and tidying, watered the garden and if we asked and she had time, shopping and veg prep. She was amazing and I still miss her. We also had a gardener.
If I had unlimited resources now I’d probably have the same but for more hours so they could basically do all the housework! Not sure about a nanny, I’d ideally work part time and DS loves Nursery and the other children there. I guess we could have a part time nanny who collected him a bit early from Nursery and got him his tea so he wasn’t as late to bed as he is now and I could just play Witt him when I got home before he went to bed rather than running about like a blue arsed fly.

Elementtree · 02/03/2018 17:04

I do charity work, where the charity work is turning up to dinner and buying nice things Grin I'd be the one on radio 1 buying up all the amazing Children in Need experiences and have everyone telling me I'm so good. Ha, this is why I'll never win, I'd make a terrible millionaire.Grin

IncyWincyGrownUp · 02/03/2018 17:05

I’d employ a housekeeper, cleaner, and gardener with no qualms at all if I had the funds. I hate housework with a passion, and would love to be able to pay somebody else to do those things for me.

Elementtree · 02/03/2018 17:05

I mean I 'would do', I've clearly slipped from daydreaming to delusional.

Redrosebelle · 02/03/2018 17:08

I would love a cleaner, gardener and a chauffeur. I hate cleaning, gardening and long journeys so that’s okay isn’t it? I wouldn’t have a nanny, if I wasn’t stressed about doing the drudgery work In the house I wouldn’t need any help with children.

PrizeOik · 02/03/2018 17:08

If I wasn't working?

Not sure I'd bother with a chef or nanny. If I had more money, I'd just eat out more, and I like being with my DC.

I might go with a PA to do organizational stuff for me - tidying/sorting, purging, bills, tax prep/finances, activity and holiday planning, research for projects, food shop, helping with gift and clothes shopping, packing (school togs, days out, holiday stuff). I'm not detail oriented and can get overwhelmed and exhausted by all that.

Possibly an afternoon/evening PA so that she can be in the house with my DC if I've got an event to go to after bedtime.

Maybe a cleaning service a couple of times a month.

I think I just want a wife TBH!

HelenaJustina · 02/03/2018 17:08

Cleaner and gardener would be nice. And enough money to book babysitters for evenings out rather than having a nanny.

vapourtrail · 02/03/2018 17:12

Elementtree GrinGrin

snewsname · 02/03/2018 17:13

Too bloody right I would. But not live in.

Viviennemary · 02/03/2018 17:17

I'd certainly have a cook as I hate cooking but like food. And a cleaner and a nanny. And a gardener and handyman type person in case anything breaks down. But not sure I'd want 20 people floating around even in a big house. You must work in a stately home type place. Sounds great.

LaurieMarlow · 02/03/2018 17:19

20+ staff is somewhat excessive, but if money were no object I'd have a full time housekeeper, chauffeur and nanny, plus a part time gardener, hairdresser and PA.

That would be bliss.

WellTidy · 02/03/2018 17:22

I know a few people who have a lot of help, or have things that make life easier or more enjoyable. We have a cleaner who also does ironing, and a gardener. It's amazing. We also have a part time nanny (I work part time too).

I know people who have their cars valeted and cleaned on their drives, only ever have flowers delivered in ready done arrangements (so, on a contract rather than a one off interflora type delivery), personal trainer comes to their home, food delivered, wine delivered, dry cleaning collected and returned and put away (company has keys) ...

TheBiscuitOfDestiny · 02/03/2018 17:23

I hate cleaning with a passion, but although I'm in a position that I could afford a cleaner I can't bring myself to get one. I think I'd be too neurotic tidying for them, and just about manage to keep on top of it (thank god the OH is more into cleaning than I am!).

I would love a gardener and like the poster a few above mine suggested, a personal trainer too.

But anyone that lived in? No ta, I'd hate to have non family around all the time. I don't think I'd be able to properly relax.

PistFump · 02/03/2018 17:26

I'd have a cleaner and a gardener but that would be about it as I like my privacy

Palavra · 02/03/2018 17:27

I think I’d have a cleaner come in once or twice a week. But I wouldn’t want them to clean my bedroom etc, but bathrooms, living room, kitchen. I would want to have a gardener come in but probably just once a month. It depends - if I was really rich and had acres of lawn and intricate gardens etc then yes I’d want a full time gardener! I wouldn’t want a chauffeur. I can’t drive but I’d feel awkward having a chauffeur tbh. A nanny, again it depends. Certainly a regular childminder and if i was rich I’d like an MFL tutor for my children and someone coming in to give music tuition but I’m not so sure about a nanny. If I was staying st Home at all day, having a nanny would mean I’d have nothing to do. I’d definitrly want a chef!

Namesarehard · 02/03/2018 17:30

No I wouldn't.

harshbuttrue1980 · 02/03/2018 17:31

Not live-in. I like privacy, and I think its healthier for both employer and employee if the employee can go home after work to their own home and life. I have a weekly cleaner at the moment, and if I was rich I'd love to have her come every day.

OP, I'm really interested in what your employers are like - do they spend much time with their kids? And you mentioned the maids working from morning till late at night - is that the same maids on really long hours, or do they have maids on shifts? Do they do some things for themselves, or would they literally ring a bell for a maid if they wanted a cup of tea? The everyday lives of the super-rich are so fascinating.

ScienceIsTruth · 02/03/2018 17:32

Hell, yes. I have arthritis so struggle with housework, etc, so being wealthy enough to afford help would be amazing.

If money was no object, and although I enjoy cleaning, etc, I'd employ a housekeeper, cleaner, gardener and handyman and someone to help me with cooking. I love cooking and baking too, but struggle with chopping, etc, so I'd have someone to help me prepare stuff).
Maybe, with help like that, I wouldn't be in so much pain all the time and could enjoy life a bit.

I'd then have time to use my wealth for charity work and I'd buy up property and set up a scheme using them whereby people can save up enough money to get out of renting and onto the property ladder themselves.

They'd do this by living in my properties and paying 'market rent' on it.

This rent would be pre-agreed at a sum they could comfortably afford to live without, and would be for an agreed set length of time, ie, long enough to make sure they were able to save a large enough deposit.

This 'rent money' would, bar a minimal amount (eg, £50pcm), go into a special saving account and when it reaches an agreed target amount, eg, £20K, they would then use this money as a deposit to buy their own place and my property would be available again for the next people to use.

The minimal amount that had been put aside each month would go towards paying any solicitor fees when buying their house.

I think it would be a really helpful scheme, eg, someone paying £750pcm +£50pcm fee, would have £18K for a deposit after 2 years, plus £1200 for solicitors fees, and I'd have a warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart knowing that I was helping people.

Win, win.

Can you tell I spend a lot of time daydreaming?? Lol.

Just need to win big on the lottery and then I'd be able to put it into motion and make it a reality.

Back in the real world though, I continue to muddle along.