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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peed off at getting ‘told off’ for working at home

179 replies

Hatemyjob2 · 02/03/2018 13:31

Started new job in January. Okayish, better than last one, but micro- managed to the hilt.

Anyway you may have noticed a spot of bother with the weather, so I asked to work from home. Told OK, as long as I can’t get in. Anyway oh’s office is closed for safety reasons, so I’d have to trek 1/2 mile to the bus for 6.30. Pavements are like ice and I have osteoporosis.

So I log on at 8am and get stuck in. Then I get a sarky message: where are you? Is public transport not working. I explain that I couldn’t get in and have been roundly told off like a child and apparently they will have words with me on Monday.

OH has said to start looking for a new job and I’m inclined to agree now.

OP posts:
redpassport · 04/03/2018 08:19

Join the GMB trade union. Your condition is protected under the equality act 2010. Your employer has a duty to make reasonable adjustments. If you need to raise a grievance or are subject to a disciplinary your condition provides you with day 1 employment right. PM me

wildchild554 · 04/03/2018 08:58

Yanbu. As the op said has osteoporosis so those that think its reasonable to take a risk if transport running rather than work from him that day, personally if I was management I would prefer op worked from home one day rather than end up on sick Leave for however long.

Firstimer703 · 04/03/2018 09:01

Obviously not a good Manager if they feel they have to see you to know you're working. Best to find somewhere not stuck in the 1970's!

Honeycake50 · 04/03/2018 17:57

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down.

GinghamStyle · 04/03/2018 17:59

Please don't let this put you off workImg for a small company as the ones that I have worked for have always been brilliant, friendly, realistic expectations of staff.

Treacletoots · 04/03/2018 18:37

Seriously I can't believe more people haven't taken issue to the fact that the manager had also replied to this post!

This is beyond unreasonable, unprofessional and ... Fully supporting OPs claims of micro managing. Run for the hills OP, you need a manager that doesn't stalk you on social forums and respond to prove they were in the right.

Good leadership is about everyone being happy with the outcome, not one person winning.

PoorYorick · 04/03/2018 18:39

Did the manager reply? I thought another poster had written what she imagined would be the manager's side of the story.

TalkinPeace · 04/03/2018 18:40

My only comment is that you should have confirmed the original skype call by email at the time so that there was a clear evidence trail allowing you to make a judgement call about going in

user1476641978 · 04/03/2018 18:52

Absolutely ridiculous. I work for a 5000 plus staff organisation in London and we were all actively encouraged by the senior management to work from home if we could. I went in 2 of the days and even then it was so dangerous/had to leave early etc. Providing you are not front line you get so much more done at home (decent WiFi allowing!) micro managing is the worst way to work - all it says is I don’t trust you, I’m going to treat you like a child and make your life a misery because I don’t know how to effectively manage staff - absolutely find a new job !

AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/03/2018 19:45

🙄 Manager is an idiot.

If you were a teacher before but feel micro managed now it must be really bad!

Good luck with the job you’ve applied for. Is it in the same industry as the one you’ve got now? (Irrelevant to your thread, I’m just being nosy!)

oblada · 04/03/2018 19:46

There is 2 sides to everything. Looks like the manager expected some clearer communication and a real attempt to come to work. Which, given the OP is a v recent recruit, doesn't seem unreasonable...
Machinebee - making you hold thing/stand etc doesn't sound nice at all. However asking you to take annual leave for hospital appointment is fairly standard. And waiting until towards the end of the notice for a reference isn't completely unreasonable either, especially as it's quite clear that you would have gone on the sick otherwise so really she wasn't wrong to do that...:/

64BooLane · 04/03/2018 19:48

The manager didn’t reply, I don’t think. That was a poster setting out a theoretical reverse version.

Greensmurf1 · 04/03/2018 20:11

If you can’t change your company culture, your manager’s view of you or their working style, find a new job before you lose confidence. Years of micro management, a manager who doesn’t trust your work ethic and leaves you feeling embittered and anxious will sap your confidence not to mention your motivation and productivity. Get out before your toxic work environment drags you into so much of a rut that you don’t feel you can find an alternative job.

DNAwrangler · 04/03/2018 20:50

There are lots of people villifying the manager here. I agree the communication should have been clearer, but honestly, it's usually not as simple as 'good managers don't need to see their staff to know they're working'. Well, maybe not, IF they are also good staff. But it also depends on the job - the team I manage are far, far more effective on site than off.

Snowysky20009 · 04/03/2018 21:10

That wasn't the mangers response lol it was a pp giving another side to the story.

NotMyUsualSelfToday · 04/03/2018 21:28

I work for a very small firm and sometimes it's great and other times it's a royal pain in the area. When DS's school closed my options were a) get DH to take the day off work or b) take him to work with me. There are two of us in the office, I have no choice but to go to work. Being sick is impossible!

NotMyUsualSelfToday · 04/03/2018 21:28

Area=arse

OlennasWimple · 04/03/2018 21:42

I agree that it sounds very much as if the manager was expecting either a greater effort to be made getting into work (OH's office being closed is not her problem - the OP makes it sound as if she would have gone into work if her OH had been driving in) or communication first thing to confirm that OP would be working from home because of the snow conditions.

Does the manager even know about the OP's medical condition?

fiorentina · 04/03/2018 21:57

I would always out of courtesy to my manager, email them to let them know I’m at home working rather than just do so. I think that’s the issue. They wondered where you were. It does also potentially cause issues with colleagues answering more phones etc if it wasn’t planned and organised. Hopefully it’s all fine tomorrow.

MachineBee · 05/03/2018 07:51

Oblada I had intended to work my full three months notice and wouldn’t have gone off sick really, but it was the cruel way she kept saying I’m withholding your notice - they may not have you when they get it.

I’ve never had to use use holiday for a hospital appt before - probably as I’ve always worked more hours than contracted and most employers have understood the give and take. I was also quite senior.

Crikey she was an awful boss. But she was the COO and reported to the board so had no line manager as such. Another employee handed in her notice at same time as me but had a shorter notice period so I was the one doing all the induction of the new staff as well as business as usual in my final weeks.

MachineBee · 05/03/2018 07:59

To the PPs who say that people are less productive WFH I completely disagree.

The biggest problem is getting them to stop working. I’ve line managed colleagues who are fully WFH and had hold a very firm line on their time management I.e. I do NOT want to get emails from them at stupid o’clock or when they are on annual leave. Everyone should have proper core hours whether they are in a conventional workplace or working from their spare room.

But WFH because of adverse weather at 8am is fine, especially when you have no way of contacting your line manager re the adverse conditions.

I hope you get on ok today OP. If you were in my team I’d be commending you for your initiative and drive.

GnotherGnu · 05/03/2018 08:14

Obviously not a good Manager if they feel they have to see you to know you're working. Best to find somewhere not stuck in the 1970's!

This! I used to work for an idiot who demanded so many preconditions on working from home that it wasn't worth asking, despite the fact that it was very easy to check whether we were doing productive work. When I became a co-head of department we used to let people WFH under the radar, and told the idiot they were out seeing clients on the very rare occasions he even noticed. He absolutely hated the fact that we regularly questioned his decisions but were one of the most successful departments.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/03/2018 08:43

I hope they back down a bit today.
My boss text the whole team on Thursday and told us to work from home for the rest of the week.
But he trusts us and knows we will get on with it all.
Fingers crossed the other job! Good luck.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/03/2018 08:58

I don't see the relevance in asking about public transport not running.
Unless you have a bus stop outside your home it is irrelevant.. We were not badly affected by the snow but we are nowhere near a main road and getting to public transport would have been impossible on foot.

itstimeforanamechange · 05/03/2018 09:37

If your husband was off, and could drive you in or drop you at the bus station, it's difficult to see how that would be an excuse

I can't see how this is relevant. The OP's DH does not work for her employer and has no duty to ensure his wife gets to work. He may have been working himself and unable to leave the house in any event.

I would be annoyed if my DH's employer expected me to risk my neck (and car) to take my husband to work, or to a bus-stop or railway station. As it was, I had to go out on Friday to collect him from a nearby railway station as there were no trains to our local station. It wasn't funny on icy roads where some idiots decided to drive up my bottom because they either have winter tyres or didn't, but accidents don't happen to them (until they do).

I make my own assessments on whether it's safe to travel or not. As it is, I work from home currently, and when I don't, I can walk to the station and get on a train. But if I had to drive somewhere it would be a different story and I wouldn't take risks. A friend who has to drive for work had an accident in the ice, and so did her son. Fortunately only the cars were hurt, but why on earth is it worth the risk? I see the Scottish transport minister has expressed dismay at employers who are threatening to dock pay/discipline their staff for for not travelling to work during the red travel alert. I mean, what the actual wotsit? What is wrong with these employers?

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