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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peed off at getting ‘told off’ for working at home

179 replies

Hatemyjob2 · 02/03/2018 13:31

Started new job in January. Okayish, better than last one, but micro- managed to the hilt.

Anyway you may have noticed a spot of bother with the weather, so I asked to work from home. Told OK, as long as I can’t get in. Anyway oh’s office is closed for safety reasons, so I’d have to trek 1/2 mile to the bus for 6.30. Pavements are like ice and I have osteoporosis.

So I log on at 8am and get stuck in. Then I get a sarky message: where are you? Is public transport not working. I explain that I couldn’t get in and have been roundly told off like a child and apparently they will have words with me on Monday.

OH has said to start looking for a new job and I’m inclined to agree now.

OP posts:
anneoneill · 02/03/2018 19:53

jesus H christ posted on the wrong thread again. I give up!

AskBasil · 02/03/2018 19:53

"It seems to me that the big issue here is lack of communication. You need to let your manager know if, for any reason, you will not be where they expect you to be at the time they expect you to be. This is absolute basics, and is generally expected by all employers."

As a manager, I didn't expect my staff to be in on time when snow hit, because I can look about me and see what impact severe weather will have. I expect that at some point they will text or e-mail me if we haven't arranged for them to work from home, but if they're stuck in traffic, I don't expect they will break the law to call or text me and I don't expect them to pull over when it might be taking 15 minutes to move 4 metres. I know they're adults and will communicate reasonably with me when it's safe and practical to do so.

People just need to be reasonable.

RedForFilth · 02/03/2018 20:01

It's hard to say without knowing wear you are. I work in a care home and people are starting to milk it now tbh. The roads are clear and all public transport is running and on time. It's meant some of us doing 48 hour shifts which is so dangerous. We've had to sleep at work before going home as it would have been unsafe to drive. 4 staff members didn't even bother to ring in either so left us totally in the shit. It's fair enough that some people can't but we know for a fact some could because out friends/family members had come from the same way to bring supplies for us!

Original poster
Hatemyjob2 · 02/03/2018 21:02

Wow. So many assumptions here. We have about 3 foot of snow here. And it hasnt stoppedyet! All on top of last nights ice. So even if I had managed to get in, I wouldn’t have a snowflakes chance of getting home!

DH was working all day. In his home office. I would have loved to have been able to send a text, however no one will give any of the staff: all 3 of us minions, a mobile number. No one has ever said what the policy is and I’ve been winging it from day one with most policies. No hr department as it is a tiny company I live the furthest away and everyone else lives fairly local.

Husband has just back from the corner shop and it took 45 minutes for a 10 minute stroll. He said the cars that are about are trying not to go sideways. It’s not the main roads that are the problem (although they are a problem), it’s the side roads as they are just solid snow and ice, so he couldn’t get me to the bus stop. It’s 3 blocks away, around a major junction and then up a hill.

I’m going to have a nice cup of tea now and chill in front of gogglebox.

OP posts:
Nelly1231 · 02/03/2018 21:05

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RedForFilth · 02/03/2018 21:23

I just think YABU if you didn't ring someone to let them know/check but YANBU if you did.

rookiemere · 02/03/2018 21:27

We're totally trusted in my place and they've stressed that our safety is paramount and to work at home in bad weather conditions.

However to return that trust I always let my boss know what I'm doing and double check that I'm not taking anything for granted. As the buses were running its not unnatural that your boss would expect you to be in therefore you should have emailed as soon as you started to explain the situation.
It's done now so I'd suggest giving the full story on Monday and remaining calm .

Nelly1231 · 02/03/2018 21:35

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CherryMaDeary · 02/03/2018 21:40

YANBU, you were letting her know you would be WFH an hour before her start time. That's more than adequate.

They can't expect your DH to drop you, they don't pay him a salary.

Ginger1982 · 02/03/2018 22:35

Think you've accidentally trolled the wrong thread Nelly 🙄

TheMaddHugger · 03/03/2018 00:40

@Nelly1231 Think you have the wrong thread Smile

TheMaddHugger · 03/03/2018 00:43

@Hatemyjob2 (((((Warm Hugs)))). YANBU

Perfectly1mperfect · 03/03/2018 00:50

Any decent workplace, where you can work from home, should not have a problem with it in these conditions. We only have a few inches of snow but the roads are lethal. Cars are struggling to get up even small hills and are sliding everywhere. Schools are closed, limited public transport etc.

The company sounds crap to work for, this will probably be the first of many issues so I would definitely start looking for a new job.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/03/2018 01:29

You,didn’t even try to get in. You didn’t follow the reason that they gave you. They said as long as you couldn’t get in. You could have got in and you didn’t even try.

This is just stupid.

My DH decided to go to work one day when were in the middle of heavy rains and flooding in our city. He was gone about 4 hrs, he could get so far by ducking and weaving and then had to turn back. What a waste of time. Two years later his colleague tried to get to the office in similar conditions and died driving into a flooded section of highway.

I’m sure most adults can assess the situation and decide not to risk the journey.

I’m a bit fiesty with things like this, but come Monday if they got you in for a “chat” and you can afford it, I’d tell them to stick their job and leave immediately.

ForalltheSaints · 03/03/2018 07:27

The OP has osteoporosis. Therefore the response from her employer should have taken account of this. For someone without such a condition or other limiting condition/disability, I think an attempt to get to the bus should have been made.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 03/03/2018 07:54

You were of course right to work from home but you should have emailed as soon as you sat down to inform them.

I work from home weekly for a no of hours as part of my contract. My manager worries so I manage her reaction to this by emailing a short list of what I’m doing (I’d produce it anyway as I do project work involving lots of tasks). It covers me as I give her the opportunity to tell me there is something more urgent to do and allows her to manage remotely. It takes two mins but creates trust and is what “managing upwards” is about. I didn’t do this for my previous boss but not all managers and managees (if that’s even a word) are the same.

As you haven’t been in the role (and it sounds the industry) long then there is going to be more managing than you would have had in a previous role and you have to accept this. Working as a teacher or whatever for ten years doesn’t make you an expert at something you have just moved into - you have been in the role less than two months.

The previous team I managed I would allow to work from home when they needed to and was flexible but honestly i couldn’t trust all of them. So when one “couldn’t make it into work” despite living closer than the rest of us I sent her tasks to do as otherwise she would have done fuck all which wouldn’t have been fair on those who make it in or had taken leave because they wanted to day off with their kids (which is what I did yesterday). WFH requires a lot of trust so try and build it up rather than being resentful of someone trying to do their job. Oh and mentioning her age doesn’t paint you in a good light either.

Bettyfood · 03/03/2018 07:59

You could get in but chose not to. It’s a bit of snow, it’s not the apocalypse. People in other countries live it for three months every winter and they somehow still manage to go to work

Tell that to SouthEastern trains.

Cousinit · 03/03/2018 08:00

Find a new job. This does not sound like a good place to work. They clearly don't give a shit about their employees.

flumpybear · 03/03/2018 08:17

Wow to me that's too dangerous going to work with your osteoporosis as well as the fact you may never get home! So I'd have emailed to say I'm working from home as don't know the policy on snow days but if it's necessary for me to take a holiday day then timely me know and I'd stop working

Giraffeelephantgrape · 03/03/2018 08:24

YANBU op. I would be looking for a new job.

MrsElvis · 03/03/2018 08:24

They don't care about you and you don't sound happy there in general. If you can afford to do this I'd not turn up on Monday or ever again!

MachineBee · 03/03/2018 08:35

I have rheumatoid arthritis and in a previous job my line manager changed. The old one was an inspirational woman who was incredible to work for. The new one hated me on sight. I was quite senior, but she treated me like the office junior. I was better qualified than her (I’d seen her CV when she applied for the job) and more experienced but I’d ended up in a lesser role due to the recession.

When she found out about my RA she went out of her way to try to make me take the Tube with lots of banners and boxes to an exhibition (she refused to pay for a taxi - I paid for myself anyway as I wasn’t going to make myself ill carrying too much stuff), stopped another colleague from relieving me on the stand, removed the chair so I had to stand for 10 hours (not good for anyone, but especially me) and told me I had to use holiday leave for hospital appointments! I only had one in the 6 months she was my boss.

These are just a few of the horrid things she did - there are countless others.

I stuck it out until I got another job. Her final coup de grace was telling me she was withholding my reference until the final fortnight of my notice. It turned out she hadn’t and my new employer sent confirmation that everything had been received to my new company email Confused. If I’d known they’d got it I’d have signed off sick and left her in the lurch.

She was a vile person and I honestly hope the universe has something awful ready and waiting for her. I’ve seen her in the street and crossed the road as I really would find it hard to be civil.

BTW - new job was brilliant. 30% pay rise, WFH flexible working and I never have to ask to use a taxi when carrying stuff to events and exhibitions or use holiday for medical appts. I guess she did me a favour.

AlexaAmbidextra · 03/03/2018 08:37

I have a job where in bad weather like the present, service users inevitably cancel their appointments with us as not worth risking their already ill-health to attend for supportive but not life-saving care. So I would always tell my therapists to stay at home for safety reasons. However, my former manager, knowing all this put a huge amount of pressure on me to risk icy roads to enable me to get into work and sit in an empty building all day. This from someone who 'worked from home' an awful lot during school holidays. Angry

ShortandAnnoying · 03/03/2018 08:55

The point is its either acceptable to wfh or not. If you can do all you need to do for the day at home and it doesn't matter if some office based tasks are completed later then it should be no problem to anyone if the OP stays home for the day and avoids traveling in the snow. If it's not really acceptable to work from home as urgent tasks cannot be done there then the manager should not have told her she could. That way even if she couldn't travel they could have followed the same procedure as if she had been off sick, got someone in to cover or whatever.
The OP must have thought it would be possible to do a days work at home or she wouldn't have asked in the first place. So it sounds like her manager is just being unfair.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 03/03/2018 10:40

MachineBee she should be been sacked!