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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peed off at getting ‘told off’ for working at home

179 replies

Hatemyjob2 · 02/03/2018 13:31

Started new job in January. Okayish, better than last one, but micro- managed to the hilt.

Anyway you may have noticed a spot of bother with the weather, so I asked to work from home. Told OK, as long as I can’t get in. Anyway oh’s office is closed for safety reasons, so I’d have to trek 1/2 mile to the bus for 6.30. Pavements are like ice and I have osteoporosis.

So I log on at 8am and get stuck in. Then I get a sarky message: where are you? Is public transport not working. I explain that I couldn’t get in and have been roundly told off like a child and apparently they will have words with me on Monday.

OH has said to start looking for a new job and I’m inclined to agree now.

OP posts:
Cyclohexane · 02/03/2018 15:39

Hi,

Osteoporosis; thus, you have a disability at work, the associated Risk Assessment very much aggravated by the weather conditions. Employers are obliged to make reasonable adjustments for disability conditions.

Beyond this, you have two options here. Yes, you can look for another job, but that just lets poor management get away with underperformance and opens the door to another employee having the same experience.

Alternatively, you may wish to just stand your ground. If you are dissatisfied with their management of you you could consider raising an informal grievance, if that does not work, raising a Formal Grievance.

Does your employer have a mechanism for Upward Appraisal?

If this frightens you, (or any other reader in an analogous situation, consider contacting your trade union representative for advice / assistance); if you are not a trade union member, consider joining an appropriate union, it carries a number of benefits.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 02/03/2018 15:43

Also if your manager requires you to tell them on the morning in question that you have decided to work from home. Even though you spoke to them previously about working from home that day and they can see you've logged on overkill . Then they need to make that clear.

If staff don't know the policies then that may not be only their fault...

Eltonjohnssyrup · 02/03/2018 15:44

Well you don’t know where she is either do you? By the sounds of things most of the people in her office have gone in so I doubt she’s in the areas where people have been told not to drive.

Quite frankly your advice that we should assume the OP is in the worst case scenario just because you are is awful advice because it’s clearly not the case here.

Where I am all the main roads are clear and the schools are open. It sounds like plenty of people have got in to the OPs office. She also says buses are running in her area. In those circumstances, yes, it would be reasonable for an employer to be annoyed at an employee not showing up because their partner wasn’t driving in rather than because they actually couldn’t get in.

You’re giving crap advice purely because you think it’s nice to tell the OP what she wants to hear rather than the genuine reasonable answer. If the roads are drivable and her DP has a car her employer is perfectly reasonable to be pissed off because all the waffle about her health and icy pavements is completely irrelevant when the OP has a door to door lift available but won’t take it.

It’s really, really crap advice to encourage someone to get shirty with their employer when they’re in the wrong. And it certainly won’t help the OP to get a decent reference when she leaves.

Viviennemary · 02/03/2018 15:46

Why couldn't your OH just have given you a lift as usual if the roads were safe. If it was safe to travel then you should have gone to work irrespective of your private arrangements for lifts.

coffeemugged · 02/03/2018 15:48

I'm WFH today with a 5yo off school and work are happy for that. If I clock less hours I'll make them up and they trust me to.

Your work sounds difficult- being micro managed is hell.

All I would say is did you let them know you were going to WFH today specifically or was it just a theoretical question when you asked if possible?

coffeemugged · 02/03/2018 15:49

And I assumed relevance of DH not going meant no lift for OP and her osteoporosis makes walk to bus stop difficult.

LoniceraJaponica · 02/03/2018 16:00

“You could get in but chose not to. It’s a bit of snow, it’s not the apocalypse”

YABU maybeitsbecauseim. Did you miss the bit where the OP said she had osteoporosis?

Viviennemary · 02/03/2018 16:00

I don't see why OP's OH didn't give her a lift to the bus stop,.

murasaki · 02/03/2018 16:00

He still could have driven her in though,

AskBasil · 02/03/2018 16:06

"Where I am all the main roads are clear and the schools are open. "

Where I am all the main roads are clear.

But cars are slipping and sliding around all over the side roads. So er, getting to the main roads is the thing that cannot be done safely.

"Osteoporosis isn't a disability".

It may not be classed as a disability for benefit and NHS purposes. It is however, different from not having osteoporosis.

afrikat · 02/03/2018 16:08

My work is encouraging people to work from home and I have been reinforcing that message with my team. Not sure of the logic of forcing people to come in if you are able to do what you need to remotely

AskBasil · 02/03/2018 16:09

"AIBU to expect my team to contact me first thing if they are unable to make it into work?"

No you are not, unless you've already told them that if they can't get in, they can work from home and you haven't made it clear that they should formally let you know either way.

The OP isn't very clear about exactly how much communication was expected/ required.

EastDulwichWife · 02/03/2018 16:11

Horrible way to treat you. Start looking for a new role. Good luck OP.

ByTheSea · 02/03/2018 16:12

I commute 40 miles each way by car and have worked from home since Wednesday as have much of my team. If you are set up to, now is the perfect time.

bridgetreilly · 02/03/2018 16:13

Talk to HR and explain that you had permission and didn't appreciate the manner in which the situation was handled. Get them to deal with it.

LaurieMarlow · 02/03/2018 16:13

I can't believe how focused some people are on bums on seats in a particular office.

The only thing of any importance is how well employees are doing their job.

Many people are perfectly capable of doing that from home, so why make it into a big issue when condition are bad. It's terrible management.

SouthWestmom · 02/03/2018 16:14

Jnh22
All that link says is that osteoporosis doesn't automatically qualify as a disability.
There isn't a list anyway , it's about longevity of the symptoms and impact of the symptoms.

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 16:18

Could your oh have run you to the bus?

SockMobster · 02/03/2018 16:31

Do they know you have osteoporosis?

SockMobster · 02/03/2018 16:32

"it's about longevity of the symptoms and impact of the symptoms."

And whether you need to take medication to control the symptoms...

mrsm43s · 02/03/2018 16:36

The OP was told she could work at home if she couldn't get in

Nothing in her post suggests that she couldn't get in, so she should have gone into the office.

She's effectively decided to work from home because her DH has the day off - and that's not a reasonable reason to WfH, as is not what she agreed with her employer.

In general, I think WfH in inclement weather is a good idea if you are in a job that supports it. But, in this case, the employer clearly would prefer that employees are in the office, and that's their call to make.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/03/2018 16:40

By 9am I hadn't seen/heard anything from HateMyJob. I noticed that she had logged on so sent her a quick message asking where she was. She replied that she was working at home. Given that she hadn't contacted me today to say that she was working from home (which is our company policy) I sent another message to say that we would catch up on Monday. My intention was to remind her of the policy/procedure - nothing formal but she hasn't been here long and maybe she didn't know

I don't have a problem with people working at home when the weather is bad but I do need to know where people are each day, if nothing else then to ensure that they haven't had an accident on their way in

I also run a fairly large company that employs lots of people.
Every single one of my employees received an email late last night very clearly telling them that if they had the ability to work from home today to do so. And that the only people who were exempt from this were the ones on the essential staff list who shouldn’t attempt the journey themselves but would be being transported by emergency drivers in equipped vehicles aranged by us.

This is because I’m a fairly responsible employer who has the ability to take note of weather conditions and understand that not everybody lives next door to the office.

I don’t actually need to double check what an employee is up to if I know half the country is struggling with transportation and I can see if that employee has logged on. I don’t employ small children who cant make decent decisions for themselves and need to be checked up on.

Clandestino · 02/03/2018 16:41

Playing devil's advocate it sounds like OP could have got in ... if her DH's workplace was closed then he could have given her a lift to the bus stop avoiding the need for her to walk along icy pavements.

On Tuesday we were told to make sure all of us have our chargers and laptops with us when going home as it wasn't certain how it's going to pen out. Our employer stressed to us that nothing is worth risking our lives or health if we can work from home for a few days.
We've have been working from home now for three days. Except for not seeing my colleagues faces live I saw no issue with my work, even worked more as the laptop was on the whole time.

NellMangel · 02/03/2018 16:45

I wouldn't do a knee jerk reaction over a simple miscommunication.

If they even get round to mentioning it on Monday just explain how you interpreted the message as an okay to work from home, and move on.

I totally understand why you feel defensive about it but I can guarantee your manager won't spend the weekend dwelling on it so please don't either.

You're relatively new and not aware of how relaxed they are about wfh. There's a huge variation isn't there? Some people see it as a piss-take, others think its great business continuity and employee benefit.

Of course if it's generally a crap place to work then look for something else.

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