Very worried about child - got off Surbiton train yesterday!

[worryingminnie]

Hi all,

I'm so so upset about a scene I saw on the train last night. Mum and (I think DS got on train for two stops. Obviously freezing cold and it was 6pm ish. DS approx 4 yrs old. He was dressed up well (hat, scarf, wellies, hood) and she was well dressed too (SuperDry jacket etc). Crammed train and son holding on whilst standing. She was SO AWFUL to him - kept goading him and telling him off - saying random things about cancelling Easter, making him walk home etc. He clearly wanted to sleep and yet she kept on and every so often he's start crying again - he really didn't want to speak. All of the adults were horrified and one older Man was muttering "leave the kid alone". I was about to stand up and offer him my seat and try to engage her in conversation but they got off at Surbiton and suddenly she started screaming again at him - it was all you could hear. But the train pulled away.

I texted British Transport Police (no idea why really) and said, when where in the hope they might be at the station or look on CCTV (but sure they won't) and used the City of London 'worried about a child' email address but got reply to say they would need address etc. - of course!

The Mum talked about a sister. At one point he started bashing his head on a pilar and she did put her hand their to stop him but she was awful to him.

I can't stop thinking about his poor little face. Keep getting tearful.

WHAT CAN I DO????? Am I over-reacting??? Could have been the end of a bad day for her but she certainly didn't have the sense to shut up in front on the train adults.

This thread is bonkers

That’s really sad, poor little boy, I think you were right to send the text, it is probably all you could have done once they were off the train.
A couple of years ago I was concerned about a boy about 8/9 on his own on the train, sitting opposite me. No coat and on a long journey.
He started chatting to me and said he was going to my stop ( end of line). Then his phone rang and I could hear someone shouting at him. Then silence.
I asked him if he was ok and he said his phone had died could he borrow mine. I said let me dail the number for you.
When I did it was a very worried brother who told me the boy had run away from his foster care in London and was making his way to the south coast to find an aunt.
I let the guard know, chatted to the boy about other things and the guard arranged for him to be met at the station.
It is hard to know what to do for the best sometimes though.

By the way if it is someone on here and you were just having a shocking day then please just let me know you care and he/she is safe.

Possibly one of the weirdest things I've read, considering this is a completely anonymous chat forum.

You can't "safeguard" a random kid on a train.

That's simply not how safeguarding works at all.

Please ignore my previous post! I’ve just realised I read another account that someone linked to and conflated the two accounts. Sorry!

A few years ago I saw a man who looked quite old, scraggly long beard and a general homeless look to him carrying a tiny almost newborn baby on my local high street. It was a chilly Autumn day, I was wearing my jacket and the baby was just in a little onesie and had a tiny crochet blanket around him, not even covered properly. This man was just walking around aimlessly for a while and I watched him because it just didn't sit right with me. I was walking to the station and he started walking in the same direction so I kept an eye on him. He went into the station as well. I just had to do something so I called the non-emergency police and logged it with them. They were totally open to getting whatever information they could about it for any future purposes.

I feel like when it comes to child welfare I would rather be safe than sorry.

TwoDrifters and others have suggested the woman wasn't necessarily the child's mother. I was waiting at a bus stop and noticed a girl of about 3/4 standing nearer the kerb than seemed wise, she was with a woman who was on her phone and paying her no attention. We got on a bus, the woman sat next to an older woman passenger she knew and left the child to sit several seats away. The child dropped her hat, almost fell trying to pick it up, and the woman snapped at her. The conversation between the two women made it clear that the younger woman was taking the child home from nursery but was not her mother. It also showed she had no liking for the little girl by her tone and comments.
Another passenger near me was also watching the child with concern. The child and her 'minder' got off. When I got off a few stops later I said to the older woman 'If your friend is being paid to look after that little girl tell her she isn't going her job very well' and got the response 'You tell her yourself!' The other passenger who'd been watching the child got off at the same stop as I did and said the older woman was actually the 'minder's' mother.
I didn't do enough I know, but maybe the 'minder' would get, via her own mother, the message that people noticed her lack of care for the child.

Pretty dangerous. You assumed you knew who they were, you could easily have been wrong. OP describes the wellies better than the child anyway

The only danger is that I may be wrong, the overwhelming majority of the time I know because I know the family well and whilst sometimes unless they talk about it to you which they do lots you can’t use it as a fact but you can use it as a reason for contact in exactly the same way that you can with a named report from the public.

If I had have been wrong then I’m in exactly the same position as I was before I knew I was wrong.

It’s been a fairly usual occurance for decades. So explain precisely why you think it’s dangerous.

Would it be worth emailing the head or safeguarding person of every school in the area, then at least you know you have done everything you can.

I was that child, but in my day people generally turned a blind eye. One or two brave souls did try to help, and I’ll never forget the kindness of those strangers.