Was DH being unreasonable?

[smileygrapefruit]

DH just walked to the shop for a few bits, got to the check out and said "Morning love, crazy weather out there!" She refused to serve him because he'd called her love. For context, we're in Yorkshire where every one calls every one love, DH calls his male friends love. This will probably divide opinion on MN but I'm wondering if it served him right or whether the lady should have served him? He had to walk as we can't get the car out due to the snow and the next shop is going to be a good 40 min walk each way!

I’m from Yorkshire originally and this thread has made me homesick. I would love to be called love!

It’s not just men who call people ‘love’ in Yorkshire (and elsewhere). Women call men ‘love’ and women call women ‘love’.

The woman serving had serious issues and was clearly in the wrong job.

@Dontoutmenow I’m from Yorkshire and hate men calling women ‘love’. Patronizing twaddle.

Why specifically men calling women this? Is it OK with the same gender, or when women call it men?

Surely ‘love’ is a friendly term and no way is it mysoginystic!
If DH had said ‘good morning hate’ instead would she have served him?
Some people see offence in everything ffs.

15 years in Yorkshire and now in Manchester - "love" is very common round here and I've heard men and women use it for both sexes. I say "thanks love" quite often as it's just as a friendly term. I've never had anyone object to it, nor have I ever heard anyone else object to someone calling them "love".

If a black shopper had been accosted by a staff member with the salutation, 'Hey, nigger!' would you expect them just to ignore it? When a man calls a middle aged woman 'love' it's the equivalent of calling them a white nigger.

WTF does this even mean - it is gibberish. There's a sensible debate to be had over whetrher you find the use of 'love' offensive (depends on tone of voice and context for me - I generally don't mind it) but nonsensical comparisons hardly further the discussion.
I am gobsmacked at the lunacy of your post Smudge (or whatever you call yourself)

Surely ‘love’ is a friendly term and no way is it mysoginystic!

Thing is, I can see why some people don't like it- that is their right; but the loons who claim it's offensive are invariaby middle class southerners policing the way working class northerners speak.

Fucking hell, are you seriously equating being called "love" with an horrific racial slur smidge?

Talk about minimising racism and being massively hysterical about a regional and colloquial term of endearment. Your attitude is embarassing , disgusting and absolutely offensive towards BAME people who are actually suffering through racist slurs and attacks on a daily basis.

I live in the U.S. and crave someone calling me ‘luv’ ‘darling’ ‘duck’. I don’t think there are any casual terms of endearment, or what ever they are called, here. Maybe ‘sweetheart’ in a bar setting?

"Unless your husband would be employing such endearments equally to a man serving him, of course."
He would, of course. Entirely routine across Yorkshire. Men go into pubs and say "Theakstones, please, sweetheart" to barman all the time. Every workplace is reverberating with foremen asking blokes to "Back that forklift up a bit, love". Mechanics tell male customers that "you need a new alternator, pet"........

I'm off out. Will look forward to reading this when I get home!

HIBU. In Yorkshire, I expect to be called love. I get a bit miffed when DM, a Yorkshire woman, calls me love, because I think, "You call your NDN that!"

Oh this is so helpful. I have a really nice new friend who is from Yorkshire. She keeps saying “my love” to me and It always throws me - I think she is talking to her kids and then realise it’s me. I will expect it now.

Whereabouts in the US do you live, Charolais. It's like a reverse Britain –people are much more "friendly" in the south, and you hear "darling" a lot.

Every workplace is reverberating with foremen asking blokes to "Back that forklift up a bit, love

Yes, that is completely normal in Yorkshire. And the sort of men who work in factories or on building sites or warehouses are the most likely ones to call each other ‘love’. Bus drivers call male passengers love, I’ve heard that one this week.

I really can’t understand why you’re insisting you’re some sort of authority on the way men address each other in Yorkshire when it’s clearly something you have very little experience of.

I’m a southerner, and I think ‘love’ and ‘pet’ and ‘duck’ are lovely. I don’t like babe, or hun, they're different somehow (but I still wouldn’t make a fuss if someone called me that) Your poor husband.

As an ex barmaid and working in a call centre I think I've been called everything under the sun. I used to love speaking to people from Yorkshire when I was on the phone's. Male or female all I got was "love" or "duck" i kind of miss it. And smudge you are so unbelievably racist. I've reported your comment that is vile language to use. Getting called love is nothing like what you described

It was at least 61 years ago the bin man called me “Curly”. (We moved out of that house in 1957).

"Hello Curly" he said as he lugged the metal bin over his shoulder. They would come in the back to get the bins back then.

Funny how things stick in your memory.

I'm a southerner and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

@BertrandRussell

Yay Bertrand's back :-) This should liven things up.

1. Please, please expand on your research conducted into Northern men never, ever using the word 'love' to each other. What was your methodology? Did you phone these 37 men? What business was this the shop floor of?

1. Why does it matter whether men call each other love. I agree it's much less common than amongst women or (most common) between genders. Why does this especially matter? (apologies if I missed your reason upthread) I assume it's because it's sexist from a man to a woman, but not in other combinations?

If a black shopper had been accosted by a staff member with the salutation, 'Hey, nigger!' would you expect them just to ignore it? When a man calls a middle aged woman 'love' it's the equivalent of calling them a white nigger.

That's potty. What a lot of nonsense. There's absolutely no comparison.

DiegoMadonna Our state borders Canada. I was just thinking that in the south they use ‘darling’. Don’t get me wrong, people are very friendly and helpful here, but they don’t use those terms. Pity. Maybe I could start a trend...

Nothing is more pleasant to my ears than hearing something like ‘luv’ or 'ducks’ spoken with a cockney accent.

I felt like Precious Ramotswe. That made me giggle!