To ask someone who does this to explain why?

[QueenOfIce]

Social media posts like this, why?!

"1 year ago today this little bubs came into our life, you are our world little munchkin we are so proud of you. Happy birthday! Love you to the moon and back"
#bubs1stbirthday #mummyanddaddyslittlelegend #myworld #bestie

*What about when people ( usually women from what I've seen on my FB ) who tell their OH's how much they love them, what a lucky princess they are, that they love them " all the world " with loads of xxxxxx at the end of the post.

Who's that for?*

The point is that it doesn't matter who it's for. Why have these people on your social media of they grate on you so much? The power to unfriend them or unfollow them lies in your hands.

Meh, I really can’t get get wound up about this.

Scroll on by or limit their posts if it bothers you so much.

Because my social media profile will outlive me. My kids and grandkids will be able to see what I was thinking when all those wonderful moments happened - in my voice - for years and years.

That's lovely.

Genuinely, I was being funny.

WASN'T

I would rather read that than a sneering, superior and snidey post like the OP.

To drive you crazy. It's part of a worldwide conspiracy against you. 😂

Is the problem that some people are so self absorbed they can't understand that Facebook isn't curated exclusively for them?
So while they are moaning about other people being attention seeking and self absorbed they are failing to realise that its NOT ALL ABOUT THEM.

My social media page is post what I want, not what you will find interesting. My eldest DD is now 10 and can look at a lot of her childhood memories quickly all in one place, she wants to see them, she cares. Me and DH want to look back at our childrens lives, we care about them. We also have lots of family and friends who care about our children, the majority of which are not in the UK and rarely get to see them so enjoy seeing photos and videos of our children.

Thanks alpineibex Before my mate died, I would have been as snarky as anyone here. But his profile has lived on and whenever another wave of grief washes over, we find something he said that makes us smile again. Cos he was a funny bastard as well as a sentimental one. 💜

I think this sort of thing is lovely because it's a source of comfort to the the deceased's family & friends

Really important to remember that’s not applicable to everyone though. I couldn’t have thought of anything less comforting than having my mother’s FB profile memorialised and my siblings agreed. We got it shut down before anybody could post ‘messages of condelences’ on her timeline. Having 100 people that didn’t know her very well or the situation posting ‘you’ll be mist hun’ and ‘OMG RIP’ made my skin crawl.

And it’s important to remember that not everybody feels comfortable with it because it seems to be the norm nowadays and people get super offended and defensive when you point out it’s making you feel uncomfortable. I felt a huge amount of pressure to conform which was really detrimental to my grieving process.

Alpine of course it matters who's it for.
It's not for themselves is it? Or their partner. It's just a way of reaffirming that their relationship is shamazing. Which it probably isn't.

anxious2017 Were you trying to ridicule me?

I get it OP. It's the OTT gushing and (possibly completely imagined) suggestion that her child/love is more than others. The (hunbot) I know that does this also posts '100% attendance' post at end of year #healthykids #nosicknessinthishouse and it makes me cringe/eyeroll/rage depending on my day! Yes I could block but I like seeing her kids (my relatives).

No, Limon, I agree with you

It was aimed at the person who took the piss out of people posting to dead relatives. Twat.

why does anyone post anything about themselves or their children on social media

It’s about validation some desire it more than others

•Today 09:00 GreatDuckCookery

I think there's a difference Limon. People often forget the birthdays and anniversary of the person that has died so it's a nice way of getting them to remember them. Plus I imagine it would be a comfort to their living relatives. It's not done in a me me me way.

What about when people ( usually women from what I've seen on my FB ) who tell their OH's how much they love them, what a lucky princess they are, that they love them " all the world " with loads of xxxxxx at the end of the post.

Who's that for?"

I don't think it's different, lots of friends and relatives might forget it's the child's birthday. With busy lives to lead and multiple kids having birthdays throughout the year. I'd wager that actually most of my friends would care less about it being my dead mum's birthday than they would if being my living child's birthday. But, again, it's not about what others want to see.

It's a public declaration of love. Like a public proposal or a big wedding. It's not a substitute for telling the person in person. It's an addition. Maybe the motives are to show off or maybe they're just genuinely happy and want to share that with friends who know they've had a bad run with men or something. Again, it doesn't matter. They can post what they like!

I admit I privately do wonder about those relationships that are plastered all over Facebook (profile picture, cover photo, public relationship status, mentioned in the 'about me', nonstop statuses and photos and declarations), I find it a bit odd as if they're trying to prove something or are maybe insecure and trying to ward off potential infidelity. It does look a little like they're not their own person apart from the relationship but that's my judgement and not necessarily true. I share the odd photo of my OH but don't have a relationship status set and usually my profile picture is just me. I also know people who don't mention their partner on there. None are right or wrong and if they make the account holder happy that's what matters!

Ah I see anxious2017! The thread moved so fast I couldn't figure it out haha

I didn't join Facebook because I couldn't read crap like this every single day, it would send me to an early grave.

The legend bit is just unbelievable, how is that kid going to feel when he discovers he is incredibly average?!

Oh this makes me cringe. Can't stand people like this.

*The deceased isn’t listening at the funeral either.

It’s a way for the living to grieve and remember those they loved*

This is true, but then many people don't want a funeral because they see that as pointless due to their beliefs.

I have nothing against people who write memoir posts about the deceased, just the same as I have no issue with parents celebrating their alive children and documenting it, but if one is going to use the argument "the child isn't on Facebook" as a reason for the latter being pointless, then so is the former, for the same reason.

I'm just trying to point out that what other people see as being pointless, other people don't. Social media is a reflection of our personal lives and our beliefs etc, it's subjective, and if people are really that annoyed about the writing style or content of a certain person, they don't need to carry on subjecting themselves to it.

Yes I agree alpine ibex - my point was that these things are for the living and that if it helps someone then they should do it. Social media can be used many ways and you can always scroll on if you want to.

PS i wouldn't assume that your Facebook profiles will outlive you, PP who've said that. Social media sites tend to be fleeting. Look at MySpace, friends reunited etc.

Facebook gives the illusion of longevity cos it's lasted so long so far and seems to be doing well but all of that could change in a heartbeat.

The only way to ensure your descendants can read your words and see your photos are to try and store them in multiple places that are independent, in control of you, not somebody else. Save your photos from Facebook onto a USB but print some too. Yes, if you've written something you especially want to pass down then copy it into a word document and print it or write it in a diary. Those are the things more likely to be around when you're gone due to the fact that you own literally nothing on Facebook and it can disappear at any moment.

I have a box of diaries and photos from my late mum and seeing her handwriting is lovely. And I can pass those onto my kids.

Yes I agree alpine ibex - my point was that these things are for the living and that if it helps someone then they should do it. Social media can be used many ways and you can always scroll on if you want to.

Yes, I would agree with you

It’s about validation some desire it more than others

No it's not. I don't need validation from anyone, thanks.

I use social media because my close friends and family like to see what I post, and I like to see what they post. I like looking back on my posts and so does my DS. I couldn't care less if people don't like it - they don't have to look.