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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP breakfast

92 replies

yy558 · 28/02/2018 20:25

So I usually make breakfast for both DP and I as we usually go into work together via car then train.

Sometimes DP works from home but still runs me in on the car. On those days I take the liberty to be more leisurely in the bathroom and not make breakfast on the assumption he's got more time to make breakfast for himself after dropping me off.-whereas im in a rush and I usually have some emergency breakfast porridge sachets in my work desk if I am hungry.

Whenever this happens I get a snidey comment in the car where he goes 'oh you didn't make me any breakfast this morning' then proceeds to mini rage

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a snowflake to expect me to make him breakfast when he's clearly got more time later?

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 28/02/2018 20:29

I am intrigued as to what this breakfast is that needs 'making'?

Cereal, milk, done - for me, anyway.

In fact, I don't want anyone else to do it because:
a) wrong amount of milk
b) sogginess.

Now, if DP is coming down to a full English, then he might have a point :)

Original poster
yy558 · 28/02/2018 20:33

Eggs and smoked salmon with toast.

And fruit and muesli is in the cupboard if he wants it.

I don't think I'm unreasonable not to make him breakfast when I'm the one who needs to get to work whereas he doesn't.

OP posts:
caroldecker · 28/02/2018 20:40

He may consider you unreasonable as he has an unnecessary commute on those days.

Sirzy · 28/02/2018 20:41

If he is taking you in so is still having to get up and out then I would keep the same routine tbh.

Surfingwhippet · 28/02/2018 20:42

Suggest that on the days you both commute that you take turns making breakfast.

SpiceRack · 28/02/2018 20:43

he's still driving you when he doesn't have to so he'd probably appreciate if his routine is staying the same in the mornings then you keep up your routine too

Candlelights · 28/02/2018 20:43

Eggs and smoked salmon with toast

Will you come and be my wife? ShockGrin

He's no right to expect you to do it every day, except if you normally do then he'll wonder what's gone wrong if you don't. Could you take turns?

Original poster
yy558 · 28/02/2018 20:44

I just feel the snide comments are unnecessary.

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 28/02/2018 20:45

if your making something like eggs and salmon for yourself then why wouldn't you make him some too.

Original poster
yy558 · 28/02/2018 20:46

On those days I usually don't eat breakfast and try to get in to work a bit earlier. Mostly I make eggs and salmon for him and slice of toast for myself.

OP posts:
londonista · 28/02/2018 20:52

Searching for the snide comments...

Probably best I don't look too hard, given I didn't really understand the original post / issue, if I'm honest.

upsideup · 28/02/2018 20:52

You are not unreasonable to not make his breakfast but then he would not be unreasonable to stop getting up and making an unnecessary commute to get to work.
How do you have less time when he doesnt have to go to work?

Bringmewineandcake · 28/02/2018 20:53

Very U on his behalf! He should alternate with you making breakfast anyway. Especially if you’re only having toast!

Sirzy · 28/02/2018 20:53

Perhaps make your own way to the station then he has time to do his own breakfast before starting work on those days?

londonista · 28/02/2018 20:54

Oh wait - you mean HIS snide comments?!

I genuinely have lost the thread of this thread. Shit of a day, sorry.

NoSquirrels · 28/02/2018 20:55

Why do you make him breakfast every day? What’s his equivalent for you?

hotcrossbunsandtea · 28/02/2018 20:56

Why does he take you the station when he's not going to work?

ReanimatedSGB · 28/02/2018 20:56

If he doesn't have to go to work, why does he have to drive you to work? Do you have a mobility issue, or is there no suitable public transport?

Normally I'd be the first to say he should get over himself and you are not his servant, but if he is getting up unnecessarily early on his work-from-home days just to drive you to your job because you are too much of a princess to get the bus, then I can see him thinking that you might at least show your appreciation by making breakfast.

Original poster
yy558 · 28/02/2018 21:01

I do offer to get up earlier to get the bus (which is free atm) and i do sometimes without making breakfast for anyone. But he insists on getting up to give me a lift. Which is nice of him.

Yet I come home to the same comments 'i didn't have a proper breakfast today because you didn't make me any.' I'm all for making breakfast but I feel like I'm taken for granted in the way he says it, as if it's my responsibility to feed him.

Maybe I'm sensitve

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 28/02/2018 21:02

Is he driving you in to avoid parking charges? Otherwise why wouldn't you drive yourself?

Why do you make him breakfast every day? Does he make you dinner, or even things up in some other way?

If not, I think I'd react badly to the lack of gratitude when you do and clarity when you don't, that it's become an expectation.

But maybe you just need explain how much you enjoy spending extra time in the bathroom. That you are giving that up on other days to do a nice thing for him.

TalkinBoutWhat · 28/02/2018 21:03

Oh the poor man. Please tell us what happened to his hands to make him incapable of making his own breakfast!

Original poster
yy558 · 28/02/2018 21:04

Also it's only driving to the station and back. I don't expect him to but he insists he wants to.

I have no problem making breakfast usually, I just don't like the way he's putting responsibility on me to feed him as if it's his godgiven right.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 28/02/2018 21:05

But he doesn't want the cooked breakfast enough to bother to make it himself? Anyone can scramble eggs. Why don't you ask him this?

Tentomidnight · 28/02/2018 21:06

Erm, why do you make his breakfast on a regular basis? I'd understand if you had the same, but you make eggs and salmon for him and just toast for yourself? Why can't he make his own breakfast every day?

MeadowHay · 28/02/2018 21:06

Tbh I'd be more inclined to suggest you only make him the cooked breakfast on the days he is doing you a favour by giving you a lift - they you're both doing each other a favour to be kind, iyswim, rather than on the days when you're both equal and both equally rushing about sorta thing, then you can both sort breakfast out yourself.