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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP breakfast

92 replies

yy558 · 28/02/2018 20:25

So I usually make breakfast for both DP and I as we usually go into work together via car then train.

Sometimes DP works from home but still runs me in on the car. On those days I take the liberty to be more leisurely in the bathroom and not make breakfast on the assumption he's got more time to make breakfast for himself after dropping me off.-whereas im in a rush and I usually have some emergency breakfast porridge sachets in my work desk if I am hungry.

Whenever this happens I get a snidey comment in the car where he goes 'oh you didn't make me any breakfast this morning' then proceeds to mini rage

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a snowflake to expect me to make him breakfast when he's clearly got more time later?

OP posts:

AnnieAnoniMouse · 28/02/2018 22:25

It’s quite funny though. On days he’s going to the station anyway he gets a lovely cooked breakfast, on days when he goes out of his way to take you...he doesn’t, that’s probably confusing his icckle brain cells 😂🤣

If he was making a joke out of it, I’d start making it on those days too. It does literally take a few minutes. However, if he was genuinely acting like it was my fault he’d not had breakfast, I’d completely stop doing it.

I’d expect a lift to the station or I’d take the car. There’s absolutely no reason not to be taken or not to take the car just because he’s not going. I don’t get why people are suggesting otherwise, unless they think the ‘man of the house’ gets control of the car .

expatinscotland · 28/02/2018 22:26

'I've had the 'ive not had a proper lunch today wfh' when i come home from 9-6. I thought he was joking.'

I guess a proper meal to him is one his handmaid prepares for him. Nah, fuck that. 'If you want a proper meal you have two arms and two legs.' Actually, I couldn't be fucked with someone who thinks it's a woman's job to feed him/her. That would crash my libido. I like to have relationships with adults.

Ledkr · 28/02/2018 22:32

expat totally agree!
I could never have an adult relationship with a man who expected me to cook his bloody breakfast, such a turn off!

speakout · 28/02/2018 22:34

You obviously have no kids then OP.

Adults can sort out their own breakfasts. OH and I are far too busy to even consider each others' breakfast.

Wdigin2this · 28/02/2018 22:36

OFFS......Both of you, get over yourselves!

Valentinesfart · 28/02/2018 22:36

On those days I usually don't eat breakfast and try to get in to work a bit earlier. Mostly I make eggs and salmon for him and slice of toast for myself.

He's being a nob.

He gets to keep the car at home, if you were driving yourself he'd be without a car.

You make him breakfast that you don't eat daily.

Partners help each other out.

CherryMaDeary · 28/02/2018 22:39

@Wdigin2this

Are you on the wrong thread?

MyKingdomForBrie · 28/02/2018 22:46

He shouldn’t give you a lift if he’s expecting something in return and being a bitch if he doesn’t get it. I would be really irritated by him trying to make you feel shit about him not having a ‘proper breakfast’, sounds like a whiny spoilt child.

DPotter · 28/02/2018 22:47

He can get up earlier to make breakfast - he chooses not to
He can multi task - he chooses not to, bet he does when working
he can make a proper meal - he chooses not too
He can express appreciation for your efforts - he chooses not too.

A definite pattern there. He's got you trained well and good.
You too have choices. Time to step back and be clear about how you want things to work between you.

Mrsmadevans · 28/02/2018 22:54

OP how can you put up with this ? It seems as if he thinks of you as his personal servant . I think you need to put him firmly in his place . On the naughty step!

Motoko · 28/02/2018 22:57

Oh OP, why are you putting up with this?

My ex was like that. Expected me to cook him breakfast every morning. I also had to get the kids up and make sure they got ready for school, get myself ready for work, and do the school run.

Notice he's an ex. That's what yours should be.

GabsAlot · 28/02/2018 23:07

so he doesnt cook but expects you too even though hes working from home

nah its not right

newcarsmell · 01/03/2018 01:59

Bloody hell don't have kids with him!

justilou1 · 01/03/2018 06:00

Have you turned around and said "I am not your mother and you are not five years old."?

snabigailflagstabble · 01/03/2018 07:24

christ why is your relationship so petty it's not a set of balancing scales.

Shoxfordian · 01/03/2018 07:33

When I work from home I sometimes make my boyf a sandwich to take to work. He doesn't expect me to do it; he doesn't complain if I don't do it nor does he say he didn't have lunch, he goes to the shop and buys a sandwich like an adult.

He also always says thank you and that I'm lovely for making it for him. Does your husband ever thank you for making breakfast?

ReanimatedSGB · 01/03/2018 10:30

Are you younger than him, OP? Is this your first 'serious' relationship? This man's attitude is shitty, and you really would be better off dumping him. You are not his servant.

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