Am I being unreasonable re. turning 30?

[lilabet2]

I am turning 30 on Sunday, obviously it's a bit depressing but when I've tried to cheer myself up by googling 'Why turning 30 isn't so bad' or 'Why your 30s is a good decade' etc. the only reasons are:

1. You're at the height of your career.
2. You've got your own home, car.
3. You're likely married with kids.
4. You don't need to worry about staying up after 3am or deadlines.

None of these apply to me! So I've missed the mark in every single way and reading these articles is only making things worse!

My life is literally a train wreck at the moment and I'm lucky that I'm not suicidal, just a bit down!

Indeed, a birthday isn’t like the stroke of midnight in the tale of cinderella with every changing in the moment you turn 30. It will be some random day when you pass a mirror and think ‘that old lady is dressed just like me today - she looks like a wrinkly version of me - oh that is me..’ I wish I’d bothered with face cream now but literally nothing else is worth regretting.

30's are awesome!!
I'm hating my 40's though

Well, my thirties weren't easy in the sense that I divorced, found someone else and started doing fertility treatments so that were challinging things for me. BUT I never felt more comfortable with who I am as a person. I alsoknow what I like to do and do it. I feel that I have more possibilities in my life because things are falling into place this decade. I don't look at others and feel that I need to be as succesful as them. I'm not envious anymore of those twenty somethings who can do all those vacations and expensive stuff which made me feel inadequate (because I found out they are now drowning in debt). I don't care what others think and would happily go anywhere alone (cinema, restaurant, vacation). I don't do friends just because they are in my friend group. I don't let some guy dominate me in any way. I like myself.

I bloody love my thirties, just except for those two earlier mentioned heartbreaks.

@lilabet2 I am turning 30 on Sunday, obviously it's a bit depressing...

I'd dispute the premise of your question tbh. Why is it "obviously depressing" to turn 30? You've made that connection in your head, so clearly you are already attaching connotations.

So really all the sunshine and flowers websites in the world won't change a thing if you don't reframe your inside head stuff to be more positive (or at least neutral) first.

30 is so young! I am near 40 now and I would kill to be 30 again! You can do anything you want - good health permitting.

And career wise please remember that Mahatma Ghandi starting getting really famous and changing the world in a big way when he was past fifty.

I am near 40 now and I would kill to be 30 again!

I am 55, I am enjoying life more than I did in my 30s.

I loved my 30’s, best decade yet. I was more confident, cared less what people thought and ditched other people’s idea of fun to find my own.
I’m turning 50 next year and feel the clock ticking. Better get on with things...

I was so depressed as I closed into my 30s. Felt an utter failure. No education or house purchased, in a shit relationship.
Went to college, did access course, got first class degree, got masters with distinction, got phd. Still don't own a home, now divorced, kids older, but had another one. I'm 3 yrs off 40 and still depressed about turning 40. But at least I've achieved something.
Would like to be in a relationship before 40.

I don't know many people at the height of their careers In their 30s,
And this is my age and most of my friends.
Some are married with children, some aren't, but career-wise many are just working their way up, or because of aforementioned children are working part time or not at all.
Don't worry, 30 is still young.

I'd be a bit disappointed if i looked back and 30 was the "height" of my career.

Turning 30 isn't brilliant any more than it is depressing. It's just a number.

There's nothing in your life that will be different at 30 than at 29, unless you make it different.

I turned 30 not too long ago and I’m loving it. I’m doing much more and embracing now much more than I did in my 20s.

So I have it all together? Well, no. But everyone is just muddling through.

Life isn’t a linear route to get all the things you want.

So, from being 30 - I’ve learned to give less of a fuck about what people think.
I’ve discovered that there will always be people that want to take pity on you. Even when you’re doing well.
I’ve done more “strange” hobbies in the last 5 years and been comfortable to do them on my own.

I can underneath being a bit down, but don’t stay there. My journey isn’t comparable to yours.

I was the same. My whole life fell apart at 28/29 I was so scared but turning 30 has been a turning point. I look forward to the rest of my 30s.

Happy birthday to you.
I am in my sixties, so I was 30 a long time ago. Things I didn't appreciate in my 30's were my good health (sorry, I am assuming your health is good) and the unlimited energy I had to get things done. With those two things you can do anything you chose. Everyones life is different, you can't set yourself against a series of so called 'goals' some random has posted on the internet. Life just isn't like that. Enjoy your youth, do what you want, be happy and don't compare yourself to other people.

My 30’s have been brilliant so far, left my husband, got a new career and a better social life, also feel fitter than I ever have (joined the gym). Not depressing at all. I turned 36 last week and I am feeling a bit sad that 40 isn’t far away.

I'm 39 and will be 40 next year. My 30's have been my best decade - not because I have had some kind of charmed life - I've had all sorts of shit going on and it's been really tough at times. But I've become more confident, I know myself better, I'm more focused on what I want to do and what works for me rather than pleasing other people all the time.

I am not bothered about getting older. I wasn't fussed about turning 30 and the prospect of being 40 next year doesn't faze me either. It's better than the alternative! It just seems like a waste to be sitting and mourning not being younger any more as you are literally wasting more time as it ticks away! Age is a number and it's up to you how much impact you allow that number to have on your life. To put that into context an old neighbour of mine is in her 80s and still working part time. She's as happy as a lark and a real inspiration for getting on with things - she still does training and exams and professional development activities. Any time I think about getting older I think about her.

What I'd give to be 30 again. My 30s were my golden years. Be happy and enjoy the ride, life's not about achieving someone else's goals by an arbitrary age.

OP, focus less on the life goals and more on what 30 years of being you means. I'm 32 next month. Thirties so far have been epic - I have some of the stuff on that list (own house, career going well though hopefully not at its peak) but mainly I feel like I've really come into my own mind and body. I'm confident, I know what I want, I know I'm good at what I do and I'm not afraid to tell people what I need from them. I don't think that "30" is a magic switch but for me it was sort of a pinpoint - "30" doesn't have the excuses of youth anymore; "30" has enough experience and sense that I felt empowered to start making bigger decisions and stop fearing rejection. I've taken up all the things I could easily have done in my twenties but didn't feel sure enough of being good at to do - from marathon running to casual sex to getting a mechanic's qualification as a sideline.

I hated turning 30 too.
i was in a toxic relationship about to split, no kids, no house, no career unemployed actually. i hated my life.

now at 36 i have a little girl, got married to the perfect guy, bought a house and have a job i love

I might be a bit late to the party here BUT...
Firstly, it’s my birthday on Sunday too (Happy Birthday us ) and I turned 30 last year.

Secondly, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Your age means absolutely nothing and there isn’t a time limit on when things should be done by. Turning 30 for me was brilliant, I’d actually been looking forward to it for a while because I was very much done with my 20s and was totally ready. I get that not everyone feels that way but just see it as a new adventure! Have a party and let your hair down

Thirty is just a number. It's how you feel inside that really counts. Wait until you're 60 before you get down. You're alive. Just try to make the best of things. There are many worse things than simply ageing. Happy birthday.

On my 30th I was married to my lovely DH, pregnant with first baby, living in own home and doing well in professional career.

For my 40th I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

So basically you may seem to be doing well but life has a way of tripping you up. All you can do is enjoy life and not put too much pressure to conform the society’s expectations.

I think my 30th birthday was my worst 'oh god I'm getting old' emotionally..no idea why.

I've since sailed through 40 and 50 without a care. 30 seems impossibly young to me now. My 30s and 40s were wonderful. I was single and fancy free for most of them,

I'm 46. I was nowhere near the height of my career at 30 and know no-one rose who was either.

I loved my 30's. I had loads of energy and met loads of new friends.

Please don't read shit like this.

YABU. You don't suddenly have to have someone else's idea of a perfect life just because you're a year older.