Am I being unreasonable re. turning 30?

[lilabet2]

I am turning 30 on Sunday, obviously it's a bit depressing but when I've tried to cheer myself up by googling 'Why turning 30 isn't so bad' or 'Why your 30s is a good decade' etc. the only reasons are:

1. You're at the height of your career.
2. You've got your own home, car.
3. You're likely married with kids.
4. You don't need to worry about staying up after 3am or deadlines.

None of these apply to me! So I've missed the mark in every single way and reading these articles is only making things worse!

My life is literally a train wreck at the moment and I'm lucky that I'm not suicidal, just a bit down!

I am turning 40 this year. When I was turning 30 I was not married or a mum, wasnt at the peak of my career and was renting. I own my own business and STILL stay up til 3am (well maybe 1am) working.
Don't waste time worrying about what you SHOULD be doing just get out there and live life, do things you WANT to do (rather than what Dr Google prescribes) and I believe it will fall into place - but not in the way you think it "should" fall into place, in the ways that are right for YOU.
Wow that was quite philosophical actually!

This generation is doing things older and not rushing into things and I think it's brilliant. You're not "past it" in any way.

I was mortgaged at 21, married at 22 and had firstborn at 23. Though I don't regret a single, solitary, thing - what was the rush!

When I was 30 I had just split from a long term partner, had a job I liked but without much prospect of advancement. Felt a bit lost.
I'm almost 40 now, in the last 10 years I have changed jobs twice and am now in a new area of my field which pays much better. I have met and married DH, taken 6 months off work to travel, bought a house and had a baby.
It's just another day x

I've got 10 years on you and still don't have any of these things.
And none of them matter.
Age isn't anything to get hung up on. You just need to find the things that truly matter to you.

I turn 30 next month. Car - yes, kids - yes. However I’m about to get divorced, rent, and I’ve literalky only just found a job/career I love, bottom rung!

I get it. I feel depressed; I’m terrified of being old, and this feels like a big milestone along the way. I also just thought my life would be more sorted by now but it’s more fucked than ever 😂

You can't possibly be at the height of your career at 30. That makes no sense. What are you supposed to do for the next 35/40 years? Ideally I'd say, at 30, you should be moving from entry level to specialist level, that's about it.

It's just a number, seriously it's not worth all the angst. I'm 50 this year and couldn't give a damn. So what if you aren't married, have kids or at the height of your career - that's not what everyone aspires to.
When I was 30 I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I did have DD in my later 30's and got married in my 40's. I'd say I'm probably at the peak of my career now.
What about other things - travel, hobbies? Most people I know hadn't got themselves together in their 20's I was busy have nice holidays and going out and enjoying myself.

Hopefully it's not that unusual to only find a career that you like in your 30's. Very few people come out of school or university and go straight into something for the rest of their lives. You've got 30-35 years to establish yourself in that career now.

I understand feeling down about being divorced, flip it around and look at it as fresh independent start and renting - so many people do these days due to our insane property prices - that's not a failing on your part.

Height of your career by 30? That's not really possible otherwise what do you do for the next 30 years?

Happy birthday! Try not to worry about this none of those expectations need to be met by a certain time. That is just one person's opinion out of 7 billion.

I had a life at 29, lost everything at 33 and gained everything back at 37. No kids but the rest of the list.

Yes 30's were a bit meh to be honest. 40's however are WAY better.

I think it’s

I noticed a young women the other day who looked really striking and edgy, chatting to some men who seemed really fond and protective of her, some chat about how the flat hunting was going and sympathetic noises. I was thinking how at 41 most men I know put me firmly in the "busy, capable mum" category and when I was at an age to be striking and for men to feel protective, I didn't even know it.

Then I thought when you're that age there is just so much shit going on about sorting out a decent home, sometimes messy relationships, jobs etc, so much can be up in the air, and it's all consuming at the point.

Amazing that someone aged 30 thinks life has passed them by!

When men stop whistling then maybe you have become old?

30s so much happier than 20s! Happy birthday

I’m 30 in 5weeks and the only thing applies to me is I have 2 kids.
Sometimes I get a bit down about it just believing time went to quick.
I’m not making to much of a big deal just having a family meal out which we do every year. I don’t like party’s to that’s off the table maybe it won’t make me think too much about being 30.

It's very young.
I was not at all settled at 30. Partner, kids etc did not happen until my late 30s.
And now I am in my mid 50s life has never been better or more exciting.
This is the best decade yet.
( and that includes learning not to compare my life to others)

YABU to be depressed about turning 30!! It's still young! I am 30 and among my friends I have some settled down with mortgages and kids, some living in house shares, working hard and then out every weekend, some still studying / training, one travelling the world and a couple who have recently emigrated. There's no 'right' way to live your life and things change so quickly. Just relax and enjoy your birthday!

Ignore that stupid list! 30 is young. You have years. I turned 50 recently snd have no chance to slow down with teenagers, grandchildren, elderly parents, animals, job.

You enjoy your birthday and renenber some people will never celebrate their 30 th birthday so be thankful you are

When I was 30 I was

• newly divorced
• had moved back in with my Mum
• had a job that was leading nowhere
• was going out with a guy I had wanted to go out with for ages but realising that it wasn't going to work out for me and I was going to upset him at some point, which is a dismal feeling
• worrying that I would never having children in a "I had better face this sort of way"

On my 35th Birthday

• I had met my DH and married him
• I was working in a temp long-term contract job but it paid extremely well
• I had got a degree
• I was sad because I had just had my 3 miscarriage but I was just about to get pregnant with DS1 (maybe was actually pg)

Reaching the height of your career at 30!?!? Isn't retirement age 67? and let's face it, by the time 30 year olds get to retire, it won't be till we are at least 80

So how are you supposed to progress for the next 37 years!? Bollocks!!

Do a Phoebe from friends and get in that space hopper!!! Happy Birthday, OP!

I don't know anyone whose career has peaked at 30.

Plus!! The adverage age for a women to have her first child in the UK is 28.6... so unless having twins or getting pregnant literally as soon as your first is born, how can you have children by 30!?

1. You're at the height of your career.
2. You've got your own home, car.
3. You're likely married with kids.
4. You don't need to worry about staying up after 3am or deadlines.

We need to stop putting pressure on ourselves, and just focus on the current and what makes us happy.

I'm 34 in 6 months and

1. Just got my first management role. Let's not forget, we probably won't retire until we're 70, so you've got loads of time!
2. Still rent, only just learning to drive
3. Got a kid, not married, not really sure we want to get married, and that's ok cos we love each other and are committed anyway. We both think marriage is just paper and not beneficial to us
4. Wait, what? If you have kids, you might be up at 3 anyway for the upteenth night feed. Also, even senior management have deadlines :D

My 20's were shit
MY life's been happiest since I turned 40

Honestly, stop comparing yourself to some arbitrary standards