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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask about bathroom habits with OH?

92 replies

iceycage · 27/02/2018 17:05

Bit of an awkward one. Warning TMI is you're a "toilet prude" like me

So with me when it comes to most things I'm not prudish at all. But I've always been so awkward about going to the toilet around people. When I lived with friends at uni I'd make them turn up the tv or talk extra loud if I went to pee, otherwise I couldn't go Grin and number 2.. forget it unless I was home alone !

I'm in my 20s now and have never had a proper relationship (commitment issues/never really been bothered) but recently I started seeing someone who I really really like.

We're going to a hotel in a couple of weeks for the weekend, and I'm already super nervous about the "bathroom situation" especially as most hotel bathrooms don't have windows BlushBlush

Also this is so so TMI but what do you do about farting?? I have a really sensitive stomach and have to be very careful with what I eat. Eating out is usually fine while I'm there but when I'm home (I live alone) .. you can guess the rest. So going out for dinner then going straight to the hotel room together 😂... nervous ! I know I sound so ridiculous a) because I'm such a prude about this and b) because I'm a total relationship novice in my 20s.

I'm also such a prude that I'm worried just witnessing their " bathroom habits" will turn me off a bit. I know that'll sound very ridiculous to most people.

Any other prudes willing to offer advice ?Grin

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 27/02/2018 17:08
Grin

You just get comfortable around eachother over time, it is all very awkward at the start though. Still though me and my DH have been together 15 years and I still can't fathom couples who actually go while their OH is in the bathroom with them Shock

Upsy1981 · 27/02/2018 17:26

Re: hotels. You go for a number 2 while the bath or shower is running. You take nice smelly bubble bath and smellies which you leave in the bathroom and use to mask smells. Or load up on immodium before you go but this isn't guaranteed and might just leave you feeling very uncomfortable.

Re: peeing. You just have to get past this one. You can put some tissue down first and run the tap but not much more you can do. And have the telly on in the room.

Remember though that they probably don't have your thoughts towards toilet habits and will probably think nothing about your toilet habits as its just a normal thing that everyone does.

bigfatbuddha · 27/02/2018 17:26

Only pooing is done absolutely alone. Peeing preferably but both of us have needed help in the past when very very ill. We did turn our backs on the other for some privacy. That's it. It becomes ok over time.

TeeBee · 27/02/2018 17:35

Hotels have toilets apart from those in the rooms; I suggest you use those.
I really don't do farting in front of partners ever, that's what the bathroom is for...with a well-timed flush.

But really, the toilet this is something you will get over as time goes on. My boyfriend was like you when we first started going out together. Now he says 'I'm off to have a bit of bathroom time' and I shout 'Okay, enjoy your poo!!' :-D

WonderWhippet · 27/02/2018 17:35

You don't have to use the loo in your bathroom. Hotels do have other toilet facilities. If you're having a drink in the bar area or eating in the hotel restaurant you can use the loo as you would if you were on a normal evening out.

esk1mo · 27/02/2018 17:35

i had this fear at the start of my 5 year relationship, i remember making up an excuse and going to use the public toilet downstairs in the hotel!

but i agree with others, run the shower and then do it, then hop in shower.

peeing, just put some toilet paper down

VladmirsPoutine · 27/02/2018 17:42

With all the respect in the world, you will need to find a grip and keep hold of it.

Just get on with things.

FlyingMonkeys · 27/02/2018 17:47

Ah the joys! I don't go whilst DP is in the bathroom. First partner I've ever farted in front of. Now we just let rip vs sitting with an uncomfortable feeling. Buy some VIP spray if you're worried about lurking bathroom smells & spritz some body spray. Job done!

acquiesce · 27/02/2018 17:59

I feel your pain, when me and DH started dating and stated in hotels I used to go in the foyer bathroom if I needed a poo.
Now he has seen me give birth, we happily fart and pee in front of each other but poo is still a no go area to do in front of each other. Although we have let each other know we are going so that he / I can keep toddler DS occupied and stop him running in!

IfeelFloopy · 27/02/2018 18:02

Ahh the joys of a new relationship!

I’ve never known how to make a wee quiet. And I used to think that even if I did...isn’t that weirder than it not making a noise?

A few layers of toilet roll down the loo will mask the sound of a number 2.

With farting I decided when I met my current DP that as soon as he started farting around me it was game on...and I told him that the very first time he did. The relief of not sitting uncomfortably for hours is worth the initial embarrassment.

I remember the first time I did a poo at my DP’s house he stood outside and laughed at me and said “errr I heard that little plop”!! Because I had told him that I needed to go and I was embarrassed. It helped me to not care thereafter!

Bluelady · 27/02/2018 18:04

You can buy poo drops now that you put n the loo before you go. No smell. Run the tap at full flow for any kind of loo event. We all do it.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 27/02/2018 18:09

DH was like a secretive cat when we first met and wouldn't poop with another human in the house. The DCs have helped loosen him up but he's still funny about it.

I think the wees you're going to have to power through, the poos you can spray some stuff about and try to time them for before your morning/nightly shower so that there's time for the smell to go.

However, I'm the polar opposite and would poop anywhere, anytime in front of anyone. Our DCs are the same and think DH is a bit crackers for being so prudish but I think it's how he was raised as MIL is very private, too, and refuses to even admit that she poops and pees.

BarbaraofSevillle · 27/02/2018 18:11

Can't believe how much water people are wasting while pretending that they are the only person in the world who doesn't pee or poo [Hmm].

PrinceofWales · 27/02/2018 18:12

The worst for me is I have a tendency to fart as I pee, there's no covering it with taps etc and it usually echoes in bathrooms and amplifies the sound.

My partner and I can happily wee in front of each other but pooing is a no go. He farts in front of me but I don't around him, though I'm apparently a 'sleep farter' and keep him up! Blush

woodhill · 27/02/2018 18:14

I would be embarrassed too with someone new. I'm very prudish, but dh is always farting or leaving loo door open

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2018 18:15

Poo-pourri is absolutely amazing, I highly recommend it. Other than that, you are entitled to any level of privacy you need to feel comfortable. If you don't want him in the bathroom at the same time, just tell him.

Helmetbymidnight · 27/02/2018 18:15

My god, there's more than one of you with poo hang ups!

I mean, no, most people don't poo while other people are in the room, but all the bubble baths, taps running? Blimey....

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/02/2018 18:17

Seconding Barbara. Utterly ridiculous.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 27/02/2018 18:21

V.I.Poo is amazing.

I bought it for work one day when I had a bad stomach. Our 1 toilet is right in the foyer, so the smell is hard to deny.

We use it at home now 😂

Creambun2 · 27/02/2018 18:24

How wasteful of loo paper and water. God you can see how the makers of rubbish lol vipoo did their research well if so many women are scared their partners may gasp know they use the loo Hmm

Helmetbymidnight · 27/02/2018 18:25

No shit Sherlock!

Sorry I couldn't help it! Grin

GiddyGardner · 27/02/2018 18:25

in previous relationships I've not cared, but my husband is quite private and it has rubbed off on me. Go to the bathroom to fart, turn on taps if you are worried and take a body spray with you (same with a no 2). Weeing doesn't bother me so much, but I do avoid a no 2 at work and if I really need one I will take a body spray in with me. One thing that me and DH do (and I don't know how this happened), but we have an unwritten rule to never comment on each others obnoxious smells. I know it's a cliche, and might not help, but even the queen goes for a shit and you would end up choking on it if you didn't let it out every once in a while. If It's the first time in a hotel together you'll have probably had a few drinks anyway and I'm sure neither of you will think twice, have a lovely time and please don't let this play on your mind too much. Just enjoy it.

Titsywoo · 27/02/2018 18:28

Poo pourri is fab. I don't care about pooing in front of dh but I sometimes get an upset stomach when out and have to dash for the loo. Had too many embarrassing episodes where it smelled terrible and other people in the toilets were commenting. Poo pourri saves me from that. It honestly works op buy some!

chimpandzee · 27/02/2018 18:29

Wind eze tablets?

userabcname · 27/02/2018 18:30

Most hotel rooms have a TV. Just put that on. Or take speakers and play music through your phone. I used to be really self conscious about this but not anymore. I know someone who can only poo at home - she spent about 3 days on the loo when she got back after a week on holiday!

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