To ask about bathroom habits with OH?

[iceycage]

Bit of an awkward one. Warning TMI is you're a "toilet prude" like me

So with me when it comes to most things I'm not prudish at all. But I've always been so awkward about going to the toilet around people. When I lived with friends at uni I'd make them turn up the tv or talk extra loud if I went to pee, otherwise I couldn't go and number 2.. forget it unless I was home alone !

I'm in my 20s now and have never had a proper relationship (commitment issues/never really been bothered) but recently I started seeing someone who I really really like.

We're going to a hotel in a couple of weeks for the weekend, and I'm already super nervous about the "bathroom situation" especially as most hotel bathrooms don't have windows

Also this is so so TMI but what do you do about farting?? I have a really sensitive stomach and have to be very careful with what I eat. Eating out is usually fine while I'm there but when I'm home (I live alone) .. you can guess the rest. So going out for dinner then going straight to the hotel room together 😂... nervous ! I know I sound so ridiculous a) because I'm such a prude about this and b) because I'm a total relationship novice in my 20s.

I'm also such a prude that I'm worried just witnessing their " bathroom habits" will turn me off a bit. I know that'll sound very ridiculous to most people.

Any other prudes willing to offer advice ?

Is there an extractor fan?
(If there isn't one and there aren't any windows, how do they stop mould?)

If I needed a poo while I was away at a hotel with the dh I would go to the lobby toilets or similar.
I wouldn’t do it in the room!

@Helmetbymidnight

Use loo in hotel foyer after breakfast (most common time for a poo)
Vipoo is great stuff, I use the Fruity fragrance one as I have seriously toxic poo!

my number 1 rule when me and DH first met up to 3 years into relationship I would put toilet paper at the bottom of the toilet pot before I had a poo. That way he wouldn t hear it plop. and the water doesn't splash your bum

I know it sounds super gross but it really does work. It works if you don't want no one to hear you owe either.

Good luck.

As the relationship develops, far more embarrassing things will happen than a smelly poo. In the early days of dating my now DH (and as he's now DH, I can't of been that bad), he gave me a massage, it was lovely, but I was laid on and stomach, arms down, palms up, and then something fell into one of my palms, so as per human reaction, I gave it a squeeze without thinking...I was mortified!

Haha my DP admits having a lot of stomach ache during our first dates from holding farts in.
I've always been private and never passed wind in front of a boyfriend, however when pregnant I bent over in front of DPs face and you can fucking guess what happened. Once you get over the first one it's great, now I happily trump all over, sometimes on him if I want a cheap laugh.
Poo is private. I always put down the fireman's blanket. We respect each others poo time it's a break from the kids and we will turn up the television so we cannot hear the impact.
My abusive ex pooed with the door open and would usually be naked/smelly. He'd shout me in usually and I think he enjoyed my discomfort. When he expected me to do it I stopped pooing altogether and now I have stomach issues.
Put down your blanket and turn on the tap. If you're a sleep tooter then fingers crossed he finds its endearing or doesn't care (he won't) DP says mine are cute!! Parp parp. I do try...

to those who find this ridiculous..if people have an issue with it then LET THEM. who cares that you’d poo and fart infront of anyone, we all have different personalities. sadly we cant all be like you.

Use toilet paper to make a cushion at the bottom of the loo to hide the sound, that takes the pressure off a bit for me.

My sister once told me she farts into a tissue 😂

Get over it for a number 1 and for a number 2 buy some VIP spray and get in the bath/shower after!

After about a month of being with my husband (we were very young!) I got absolutely legless and when we got to his house where he lived with his parents I had to be sick - his mum gave me a bucket and every time a retched I farted too. After that mortifying experience my toilet habits have never been an issue!!

You'll be fine OP and remember his shit stinks too!

My DH of five years is really odd in this respect - he gets all uptight about going to the toilet when there is the slightest possibility I might see him (cracks in doors, or - God forbid - frosted glass), but he doesn't care what I can hear (which can be substantial...). He also thinks nothing of letting out the most humungous farts at any time.
I'm kind of the opposite, I get all apologetic about producing sounds and smells, but I don't care what he sees - it's nothing he hasn't seen before.
Mind you, I can't go to the toilet at all when DH's family are staying over. I have to sneak out to the place where I work to poo.

Flush quickly. The sooner you flush the less time the smell stays around.

I do find it sad. I feel sorry for people who can't poo in a hotel bathroom without taking elaborate measures. That's a lot of anxiety to carry.

I’m with you OP, a toilet prude, who wants to hear plip plop leaving nothing to the imagination. Sexy. Not in a new relationship anyway, after thirty years it’s inevitable. Run the bath/shower and poo with confidence.

Oh OP! Don't worry so much. We have all been there! Everyone is nervous when it is a new relationship. My first boyfriend came to stay with me at uni and I was in knots. I could not imagine doing a poo or a fart in front of another human being! Within a couple of hours of coming over, he let out a huge fart. He casually said 'sorry' and continued the conversation. There was no looking back after that 😂

My next door neighbour thinks nothing of nipping in for a poo and a chat while her dh is in the bath. Interestingly, her dh wouldn't do it. In 30 years of marriage neither dh nor myself have used the bathroom for poo purposes while the other is in there. I don't understand why anybody would think it's normal. (Am willing to acknowledge it could be me that's not normal)

I would use the hotel loo so there’s no chance of him going in after you. Also, take a small bottle of Poo Pouri and some matches.

With all the respect in the world, you will need to find a grip and keep hold of it

Just get on with things

That really doesn't help.

OP, make sure you have perfume with you. I use a cheap one for spraying in the loo, when needs must. Good advice about running the tap or the shower.

If you need to fart, just find someone quiet to let it out. Again the bathroom would work, when you flush the loo.

It does get easier but I'm still a bit of a toilet prude.

I think that when a relationship gets the the stage of farting or pooing in front of each other IMO the respect has gone.
I am also a poo phobe. It must be horrible to have a serious bowel condition like Crohns, or a colostomy.
The thing is most partners know you do those things and don't mind. It is the feeling/fear of being seen as disgusting that puts me off, as opposed to their reactions.
It's pathetic really. I have never lived with anyone and would find their toilet habits as off putting as them knowing mine. No idea why I'm like it,

My colleague went away for the first time with a partner and on arrival discovered the bathroom was open plan!!!! Sounds utterly horrifying to me. Didn’t do their relationship any harm - they’re married now!

Aw OP you sound nice
Never heard of the poo spray thing but it's worth looking into.

Also as soon as you do the first poo - flush the chain.

Never had this worry personally. Dh saw me on the loo from about week one I think.

In this situation I've waited until we go down/out for dinner to do no. 2s and used the public facilities of whichever hotel or restaurant we are in.

Well the respect hasn't gone here but we joke about himself levitating the duvet and my sphincter isn't as efficient as it was either.

Put loo roll in the loo before you go , no noise .. sorted 🤗