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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried something's happened?

88 replies

turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:07

I've been phoning my parents since 11am and the house phone is ringing out. Mobiles straight to answerphone.

They are mid/late 60s and not in good health. My mum is very unwell and my Dad had a stroke a few months ago.

My mum very rarely goes out and if she does it's not for long especially when it's so cold. She would normally answer the phone eventually however she is prone to falls and is unable to get up herself. It takes a long time for my Dad to help her up.

We are in the process of various referrals - social work, physio, occupational therapy etc as this had been quite a quick downward spiral and she only very recently got a diagnosis.

I'm am of work ill with a stomach bug at the moment so had have been lying here ruminating over something bad having happened. I have anxiety so I may be overreacting.

I know no one can answer if I'm worrying over nothing but I'm just imagining the worst. If either of them have been admitted to hospital they won't have my number on them, will think I'm working and probably won't think of another way to get hold of me.

How long should I leave it before doing something and what should I do if I need to?

OP posts:
JaniceBattersby · 27/02/2018 15:09

Do they have a neighbour you can get hold of to go and poke their head around the door?

MustRememberTheLInFingerling · 27/02/2018 15:10

Is there a neighbour you can call to pop round? I have the number of a couple of Mum’s neighbours (who have keys) who I can call if I’m worried as I live 400 miles away.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 15:11

How close do you live to them? Anyone closer? Do you have numbers for the neighbours etc?

OracleofDelphi · 27/02/2018 15:12

do you know any of their neighbours or nearby friends who could pop by the house and see if anyone is in. Even if they could look through letterbox / windows... I have no idea if you could call non emergency police number to ask what to do?

How ill are you and how far away do they live. If you are on the tail end, and you can drive easily there - could you pop round with your key to see if they are OK?

Try not to worry most often there is a less upsetting answer (are they in the SE, could something have happended to telephone lines to the house???)

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:13

No numbers for anyone! Sad I live 15 minutes away and DH has had to go to an appointment an hour away and isn't expected back until 4.30pm-5pm with the car.

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 27/02/2018 15:13

You can call their local police force and ask them to do a welfare check. They will be able to knock the door. You could also contact the hospital to ask if either of them has been admitted or is in A&E.

Could they be out at a medical appointment today?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 15:13

I'd get a cab, ask him to wait for a few minutes whilst you knock the door

Thistlebelle · 27/02/2018 15:14

I’d call a neighbour or friend.

If you don’t have someone you can call, ask the local police to do a welfare check.

Idontdowindows · 27/02/2018 15:14

Then it's the local police, ask them if they do a welfare check :)

Thistlebelle · 27/02/2018 15:14

If you live 15 minutes away get a taxi.

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:15

I can't get there just now. No transport, a 2 year old and can't be further than 10 feet away from the bathroom.

I don't know if I'm overreacting phoning the local hospitals?

I'm sure they would have said if they had a medical appointment where they would be this long.

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 27/02/2018 15:15

Good idea ref taxi. Sorry, I was thinking you were in different counties for some reason.

Thistlebelle · 27/02/2018 15:15

And get the NDN’s numbers for next time.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 15:17

Then call police for welfare check, explain you have severe diarrhoea or vomiting

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 27/02/2018 15:17

Ask one of your friends to drive round there. I know my good friends would do something like this for me, especially as it's only 15 minutes away. I'm sure you'd the same for your friends.

Welshmaenad · 27/02/2018 15:19

Call the hospitals and ask them to check admissions for both parents. If no trace, see if a friend could pop over. If that's not feasible ask the police to do a welfare check, though they may not get to it immediately and you should ask your DH to call over on his way back from his appointment as he may get there sooner. If all is well remember to cancel the welfare check.

IntoTheFloodAgain · 27/02/2018 15:21

Can you phone a friend and ask them to go round?

I’ve been in your position quite a few times with my nan who has some health problems. Thankfully, it’s always been she’s either turned her mob off or left it uncharged, or managed to silence the land line or had a longer than usual nap.

I was once hammering on the door in tears and panic to find she had left the tele on full blast, and she was cooking in the kitchen.

Hope you hear something soon.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/02/2018 15:23

Can you ask DH to call after his appointment?

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:24

Thank you for the advice. Will call the hospitals first for admissions. Then take it from there.

OP posts:
Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 27/02/2018 15:25

Her a cab over or hang on till dh gets back. Hope all ok

Crunchymum · 27/02/2018 15:26

Yes to getting your husband to go after his appointment (or even before??)

gamerchick · 27/02/2018 15:27

Ask your bloke to go over before he comes home?

EllieMe · 27/02/2018 15:28

Before you bother the police get your husband to go over. He needs to get his priorities right and at the moment it's your parents.

MichaelBendfaster · 27/02/2018 15:28

Your DH can go when he gets back. Hope all is OK.

Backscratchesforever · 27/02/2018 15:29

If it was me I’d be asking my husband to go and rearrange his appointment.