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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried something's happened?

88 replies

turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:07

I've been phoning my parents since 11am and the house phone is ringing out. Mobiles straight to answerphone.

They are mid/late 60s and not in good health. My mum is very unwell and my Dad had a stroke a few months ago.

My mum very rarely goes out and if she does it's not for long especially when it's so cold. She would normally answer the phone eventually however she is prone to falls and is unable to get up herself. It takes a long time for my Dad to help her up.

We are in the process of various referrals - social work, physio, occupational therapy etc as this had been quite a quick downward spiral and she only very recently got a diagnosis.

I'm am of work ill with a stomach bug at the moment so had have been lying here ruminating over something bad having happened. I have anxiety so I may be overreacting.

I know no one can answer if I'm worrying over nothing but I'm just imagining the worst. If either of them have been admitted to hospital they won't have my number on them, will think I'm working and probably won't think of another way to get hold of me.

How long should I leave it before doing something and what should I do if I need to?

OP posts:
Rosamund1 · 27/02/2018 15:52

The taxi idea is a good one. For £20 asking a driver to knock on the door and get them to speak to you on the taxi drivers mobile will give you peace of mind.

You: hi ABC cabs, I’m worried about my parents who are not in good health and I can’t leave the house myself. Could you get a driver to knock on their door and let me speak to them on his mobile? How much will that be? Can I pay by card over the phone? No, can he pop round then and I’ll give him cash.

If there is no answer then police 101 for a welfare check.

sirlee66 · 27/02/2018 15:52

In a situation like this, no matter how ill I was, I'd crack down the immodium, grab the 2 year old and get in a taxi.

ValMc1 · 27/02/2018 15:54

If you ring your local Police Station, they will send someone round. I had to do this with my mum as I lived so far away and was unable to reach her. Not sure if they would do it for someone so local though.

glitterbiscuits · 27/02/2018 15:55

OP - where are you? A mumsnetter may be able to pop by?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/02/2018 15:55

I'd crack down the immodium, grab the 2 year old and get in a taxi.

It depends, if she's throwing up no taxi is going to take her.

I would ask a friend if they could go over, I'd be happy to do it for one of my friends.

swapsicles · 27/02/2018 15:55

Call a friend to pop round, tbh it's not a good idea to go yourself more so for the risk of passing on the bug!
I'd pop round for any of my friends :)

anotherchangetomyname · 27/02/2018 15:56

I really wouldn't go if I was as sick as you, the DV will not help your parents if they already in ill health.

If genuinely worried call 101 for a welfare check, otherwise wait for the husband. And seriously consider talkin gto them about getting a calls pendant - they are usally very low cost and easy to install.

randomquestions · 27/02/2018 15:58

I'd be more worried if one of them was there on their own. If they're together, then one of them could get hold of someone if something had happened to the other one. It's hopefully pretty unlikely that something has happened to them both and neither of them can phone for help.

LagunaBubbles · 27/02/2018 15:58

Do they normally keep their mobiles charged and on?

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 15:59

Panic over!

Phoned the mobile for the umpteenth time and it rang and my mum answered.

They're fine! They were at the cinema!! I kid you not they have not been to the cinema together in YEARS. Then they went shopping..

I said to my mum but you never go out and certainly not for hours unless it's at mine! She agreed.

I'm glad they went out and if i hadn't been ill then is be none the wiser.

Feel like a right plank now. But at least they're okay and I can put a contingency plan together for instances like this in future!

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 27/02/2018 16:00

OP one of us may live near? I know I wouldn't mind doing it for you if you lived near me.

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 16:00

Thank you all for your help Blush

OP posts:
Fekko · 27/02/2018 16:01

My first thought was the cinema. Then maybe they were having, errr, ‘a cuddle’.

Glad they are ok!

Snowysky20009 · 27/02/2018 16:01

Good news!!! Yes definitely put a plan in place for future.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 16:01

Glad they're safe x

ValMc1 · 27/02/2018 16:01

Glad it had a happy ending.

Snowysky20009 · 27/02/2018 16:02

'A cuddle' Grin no one's parents have sex! That stops when us children are born!

laurzj82 · 27/02/2018 16:05

Glad they are ok OP

Original poster
turtlerock · 27/02/2018 16:05

A cuddle?? Envy not envy

That would be an achievement for the 2 of them what with they're illnesses!

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 27/02/2018 16:07

What did they see?

JaneEyre70 · 27/02/2018 16:08

When my nan started to get frail, we made sure we had her neighbours phone numbers and luckily they were great at checking in on her anyway. Maybe an idea or one of your parents friends for the future. Very glad all is well.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/02/2018 16:11

My mum's like this with her mobile. She never answers it and it's usually switched off in her bag to "save the battery" Confused

I think it might be worth looking into some sort of alarm alert thing (not sure of the proper name) that they could wear around their neck if they're both ill and you're mum has had a few falls already?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/02/2018 16:12

Or thinking about it, get the neighbours name and number when you're next there?

gussyfinknottle · 27/02/2018 16:12

Glad it was a nice reason. Do some contingency planning.

mikeyssister · 27/02/2018 16:12

Thanks to this thread I checked my house phones and one wasn't hung up properly. I'd literally just been onto our phone provider to report a faultBlush. In my defence it's a phone I seldom use, out in my office and it looked like it was hung up, it was just caught on something.