To expect some help from my GP in losing weight?

[Chubbychubchub]

I am a fatty. Properly overweight. About 8 stone over normal weight range (about 19st, I should be 11st at most according to BMI).

Last year I had some health issues. My GP said I'd benefit from losing weight. Just eat less and move more were her words.

I have tried. However I struggle to control what I eat, and have zero willpower.

I did go to a well known slimming group previously. It made me ill, though I did get down to 13st. But it wasn't sustainable.

I asked my GP for help. I was told 'all they could do was refer me to the nurse, but she would tell me the same. That was all they could do and there was no other help available.

I have heard of people locally being referred to a dietician, or sent to slimming group for free etc. Aibu to expect something similar, or certainly some kind of help beyond trite advice?

Whatever help given will only work if you have discipline and willpower. Whatever changes you make need to be permanent and will become easier as you adjust to your new lifestyle.

I am lchf and have lost the best part of 3 stone since September. I know how hard it is to start a lifestyle/diet change but it does get easier, especially when you see the scales dropping.

God you are HARD WORK @Chubbychubchub

Can't swim. Can't run. Can't walk. Can't find more than 10 mins a day.

Can't do 5:2. Can't do low carb. Can't do slimming world.

Can't download MFP.

Should have called yourself Can'tCan'tCan't

Op. To be fair, Kubex didn't call you a liar, she just pointed out that every single suggestion is met with a reason you can't do it.

So maybe try to be positive. What can you do and what will you do?

Ok, well stop snacking and replace your breakfast with something healthier and more filling. That's a manageable change that will make a difference. Could you do that?

I'd recommend posting away from AIBU, but since you're here...

I'm sending moral support and sympathy. I've been fat and I've been thin (I'm usually officially at the high end of normal which is a bit too heavy for my frame) and found that willpower had little to do with it.

When thin, I had time and energy for exercise and healthy eating, or was sick with anxiety or morning sickness. When fat I was breastfeeding and couldn't stop eating vats of porridge and buttery toast - it was like a switch had flicked in my head saying 'eat eat eat before you die of starvation'. And that went on for months. At other times in my life I was fat because I had little money, was doing exams, and was filling up on cheap food and a little too much beer.

Thinking of healthy eating as 'one day at a time' rather than 'I must find a bag of willpower which doesn't exist' might help. This helped me with Dry January (I now drink very little, so have some calories to spare for cake).

Slimming World recipes are just horrible to be fair.

Make sure you avoid situations which lead to overeating - particular people who make you feel rubbish; having the large bags of crisps in the house in the first place; going to all-you-can-eat buffets either when out or at family parties and so on.

I do think our scope for self-control is much more limited than we'd like to think - our family backgrounds, genetics, neighbourhoods, income all matter so much - but what you choose to do is pretty much the only thing under your own control.

So you will have to try, if you want things to get better. A pound at a time surely feels feasible - much better than thinking of 8 stone which will seem impossible and will encourage crash dieting (which doesn't work).

You're not revolting. You're not.
Could you swap buttery toast for something else?
Drop the bread with or after the meal?
Switch snacks.
I can't run. Bad back.
I can't swim. Bad eczema.
I can walk and do other exercise.
I eat emotionally. So I need to find other ways of boosting my moods. The exercise helps.
It's not about what we can't do and what hasn't worked before. A small change can make a big difference over time.
I don't like water. I do like iced water. Odd! So I drink that.

Just needing more willpower is a load of old cob - as many, many real science studies have proven. Appetite, metabolism and impulse control are all influenced by so many other things that telling people they just need more willpower does nothing but make them feel like shite for not being good enough. The world buys into the idea that weight control is a moral issue when it is simply a biological one.

That said, OP, all your posts read like excuses. I am sorry to be so harsh because I genuinely feel for you but you came on here for help and honesty feels like the best I can offer.

MFP doesn't have to be downloaded - it can be accessed from a website. It doesn't have to be use dat all - a half decent excel sheet or even a handwritten diary will do the same job.

Running doesn't have to be fast or cause injury - it can be slower than a walk and taken very gently.

Low carb is not necessary for weight loss - eating cleaner and better nutritionally as well as portion control also works (if fact, I just saw a recent study that says eating better is MORE effective than eating less).

Help doesn't have to come from a GP - there is so much help and support online.

It might not be fair that you have a busy life or that you got injured running or that you cannot eat high fat foods or that the GP won't refer you to wherever when someone else does get a referral. In fact, it probably isn't fair. But it is what it is. Life is not fair for any of us and we all either have to suck it up and find a way round the obstacles or we get stuck behind them and never move forward. I hope you find a way through, I really do. However, only you can find the way I am afraid.

As a life long dieter who eventually managed to lose and keep off 3.5 stone, the only thing that's ever worked for me is plain old calorie counting. MyFitnessPal as suggested earlier is fabulous.

@Chubbychubchub Suck it up and take responsibility for your situation.

Stop complaining and put the work in.

Swap all drinks for water, make healthy food choices, no snacking in between meals and 30 minutes of physical activity 3 times a week.

Or sit on your arse and whinge about all the free help you feel entitled too.

I didn't say I couldn't low carb. I said I couldn't do it with high fat. Not the same thing.

I also didn't say I couldn't follow slimming world. I did follow it and got to 13st. However I don't like most of the food they suggest. Hence I cpuldnt keep the weight off.

I haven't always been fat. A bit plump but most of my weight gain happened in an abusive relationship where I was told daily that I was fat, lazy ugly and worthless. At that time when no one gave a shit about me food was there.

p.s. slimming world recipes ARE bloody awful! Tom Kerridge or the Hairy Bikers diet books are brill and much used in this house for healthy meals that are a bit different to the norm.

Sometimes other people can’t fix things for you, you have to do it yourself in small, manageable steps. Eat less, move more. You said there are 4 of you. If any of those are your children, doesn’t it give you any motivation? Because considering the crash dive the NHS is in, you won’t be the drain on resources you think you will be. You will simply not live very long as the drugs and care will not be there. As other posters have said, there are life-saving treatments, drugs and operations that aren’t happening for children. Free slimming clubs should come way behind that. No time to walk? Set off earlier.

There was a leaflet in my GP yesterday. 12 weeks free at Weight Watchers if your BMI is 30+.

Well the advice you have got is fair. Why do you need bread with your dinner? Cut out the snacks, how many biscuits are you eating? You need a more filling breakfast and I would advice you to look at portion sizes. What do you drink during the day if not water? If you can't run you could walk more, do some exercise at home. The NHS website has loads of great tips.

Could you have bigger breakfast with protein included, homemade lunch and lighter tea , sounds like your typical daily diet is not enough in the day then overeating at night- a big dinner and a bowl of cereal is realistically two meals calorie wise when you're not going to be doing much activity wise .
Cut out the crisps and biscuits and drink more water
Have a big bowl of fruit salad in the fridge to snack on in the evening
Involve your family in supporting the changes to your diet

There seems little point in haranguing OP for not having more will power as that is unlikely to make her slimmer. If she is unable to lose weight via will power and she doesn't get help she will ultimately cost the NHS more than a weight loss program ever will as she will get diabetes or another obesity related illness.

Unfortunately it probably is harder for some people to keep their weight down than for others (due to the factors mentioned by Stricken) and will power alone may not be enough.

StuntNun had some great suggestions.

You can’t do 5:2. Try 16:8. You only eat for 8 hours in 24. It’s really hard at first.

You can’t do LCHF. Try cutting out all white and processed carbs and going good quality protein but low fat and low sugar. I see you eat a lot of bread and pasta. That all needs to be reduced and replaced with complex carbs.

It sounds as if you’re addicted to bread, biscuits, pasta and all fast digestible carbs. They break down to sugar very fast, so it’s the sugar you like. If you replace them with low gi carb and more protein, you’ll be fuller for longer.

I suggest you take up StuntNuns offer.

Your employer may offer help. Wellbeing is a big deal for a lot of employers nowadays and they may have things set up — such as lunchtime walking groups, dietary advice etc. If you have an Employee Assistance Programme, you may be able to access talking therapy through that.

I’m surprised that your GP surgery isn’t offering more advice on this — at the least pointing you to NHS resources and giving you some moral support. I know mine would.

Ok so that relarionship is over now op and again, I'm sorry but it's another excuse. Like the others it may be valid but again it's a reason why it's not your fault.

Ok so you can low carb. You can cut out snacks. You can cut down on sugary fatty crap. That's a huge start.

Will you do those things?

But you don't have to eat their recipes!

When you can have unlimited meat, veg, fruit and carbs, what on earth can you NOT eat? Very little. Except total shite.

I follow SW and I've never looked at a recipe of their yet.

This is what I'm having today:

Breakfast:

Crudite - batons of cucumber and pepper, cherry tomatoes and some chicken breast cut into strips.

Snack - nectarine

Lunch - Tomato, veg, bean stew with loads of garlic and chilli.

Tea - Salmon, mash, broccoli.

Then once the kids are in bed I'll go to the gym. I don't like going so late but it's the only time I've got, and I need to exercise, so I'll shift my arse and do it.

Is there anything on my list of foods that seems unsustainable? I've not been hungry between my meals. And none of it involves a 'recipe'.

Well from your sample diet I would say it is going to boil down to portion size , not snacking ,cutting down on the bread and moving more . Have you looked at the Paul McKenna threads on here as that may be something you can try . I actually don’t think there is much the GP can do , you really have to want to do it yourself . I’ve been overweight for many years , last year I lost 3/ 4 stone and finally got my BMI to a normal range . I walk a lot (1-2 hrs a day) , eat a healthy diet and don’t snack , I’d love to but I know that is the slippery slope . The bottom line is you have to want to be healthier more than you want to eat .

There are quite a lot of different initiatives in different areas OP so perhaps have a look on the internet to see what is available in your area. It is possible that your GP isn't aware.

I didn't say I couldn't low carb. I said I couldn't do it with high fat. Not the same thing

You think you can't, but you probably could if you tried.

I'm not pushing lchf btw, you need to find something that works for you and is sustainable. You could probably tweak any 'diet' into something that works for you but you need to look into it.

Oh, and do you have a Parkrun nearby? It’s a fantastically supportive way to do regular exercise. There’s no pressure on people to go quickly, people really do support each other, and you’ll probably meet lots of like-minded people who can provide support, motivation and advice.

Oh, and it's very tough and I don't expect you'd feel ready for it, but just READ the 8 week blood sugar diet book to learn about carb addiction. You're very obviously addicted to sugary carbs. Oh, or there's a website too. Tons of recipes on here:

thebloodsugardiet.com/