To expect some help from my GP in losing weight?

[Chubbychubchub]

I am a fatty. Properly overweight. About 8 stone over normal weight range (about 19st, I should be 11st at most according to BMI).

Last year I had some health issues. My GP said I'd benefit from losing weight. Just eat less and move more were her words.

I have tried. However I struggle to control what I eat, and have zero willpower.

I did go to a well known slimming group previously. It made me ill, though I did get down to 13st. But it wasn't sustainable.

I asked my GP for help. I was told 'all they could do was refer me to the nurse, but she would tell me the same. That was all they could do and there was no other help available.

I have heard of people locally being referred to a dietician, or sent to slimming group for free etc. Aibu to expect something similar, or certainly some kind of help beyond trite advice?

You can do it because you have done it :) you already did !

The diet you posted is very high in carbs. Ditch the bread, the crisps and whatever the drink is unless it’s water. More veg. Less rice with that curry.

Brekkie: porridge, nice big bowl. Or a couple of weetabix.
Lunch: Pitta filled with shredded chicken (cook a few breasts a couple of times a week so you always have cold chicken to hand in the fridge) and salad. Apple as a side or snack. Of falafels (super easy to do at home) and some low fat creek fraiche.
Plenty of water through the day.
Dinner - make up big batches of soup. Freeze portions. Or any combination of a decent slab of good quality protein (salmon, chicken, steak, whatever) with a big pile of veg - as much as you want and only a little carb. Like a 100dl measure full - really not much.

Batch cook healthy stuff and freeze portions so you have a fall back for can’t be arsed days.

You can do it because you have done it once already. Running and heavy excercise helps with cardio fitness but not really with weight loss - you have to be doing serious mileage for that. I’ve only lost weight with excercise at my fittest (when I was running 40 miles plus a week, as well as cycling a couple of hours a day to commute and rock climbing for funsies at weekends.) The old cliche that you get thin in the kitchen and fit in the gym is true.

You can do it because you have done it. You don’t need to eat any foods you hate.

Weight loss is NOT easy. It is simple... ‘just’ eat less but it’s not easy.

How can you not like the food slimming world suggest? You can eat most foods, fruit, veg, meat, pasta, rice are what you need to be eating, yes we would all like to eat crisps, cake and Chips but then we would all be fat.

Aqua fit is good, it doesn’t actually involve swimming, it’s exercise in water which puts less strain on your legs than running.

There’s not much your gp can do, why should they send you to slimming world for free? Why don’t you just go and pay like everyone else?

I go to the gym and there’s loads of big ladies that go, they do gentle exercise and get advise from personal trainers and gym staff, they have a personalised programme designed for them so they can start off with gentle exercise and build up to something less gentle.

I diet eat healthy during the week, go to the gym 3 or 4 times, swim occasionally and I treat myself at the weekend to a take away or cake. I don’t feel deprived, I feel healthy. I’m not at my ideal weight but not far off.

But if slimming groups don’t work for her, what’s the point?
The NHS would be paying money for something she wouldn’t sustain. Like exercise classes, she’d maybe go for a couple, find an excuse and drop out. Until she finds some stamina and willpower, nothing will be effective.

If SW didn't work try Weightwatchers and if you don't like that find something else you do like.
Don't just give up because one didn't work.
You need to take responsibility and do this yourself.
Your GP shouldn't be expected to help you when you have no will power. That's on you.
They don't have the answer to everything. Drink more water- this will help.
I am currently overweight and I too am an emotional eater but I know the only way I get better is if I do something about It myself.
The world doesn't owe me anything, I'd love to not have to pay for weight watchers but I do because I want to change.
Until you stop making excuses you clearly are not ready to change.
When you realise you have to take responsibility yourself then maybe you will be successful.

You have to do something.

It doesn't matter what; really. Find an hour a day to go to the gym. Eat 500 calories less a day. Learn to swim.

You just have to do something; or nothing will change.

I'd recommend saving for a therapist; but in the meantime, drop the bread after dinner. Watch your calories at lunch; a meal deal can easily be 800 odd calories. Have a good drink half an hour before you eat to make sure you don't confuse thirst and hunger. That's probably make a huge difference if you kept it up for a few weeks; and it'd be even better if you could combine it with an exercise video at home for 15 minutes or a 1 mile run.

OP:
"I haven't always been fat. A bit plump but most of my weight gain happened in an abusive relationship where I was told daily that I was fat, lazy ugly and worthless. At that time when no one gave a shit about me food was there."

So, a very understandable emotiona reliance upon food was formed.
But which does not help your physical health.
Have you had any input on this side of things yet?

COunt your calories and stick to 1900 a day. if you're 19 stone you will lose weight by sticking to 1900 a day.

You can eat whatever food in whatever format you want - within that 1900 a day limit.

Actually just seen your diet.

I'd also say this is about portion size. You're eating high calorie high fat meals. So not sure why you're saying you can't eat high fat. You clearly do already.

Simple things. Cut the bread out with meals. Stop the evening snacking. Control your portions. Switch high fat things like crisps, lasagne, peanut butter out. Have pasta with a tomato sauce and lean meat for example. Reduce cheese, butter and high fat items out your diet. You'll soon notice a difference.

Don’t waste time with calorie counting, it’s total BS.

Don’t eat highly processed foods and do short bursts of exercise to get your heart rate up.

I definitely think the best thing to do would be to aim to lose the weight very slowly. That way you only need to make a few reductions in what you generally enjoy eating. Why not start by simply keeping a food diary for a couple of weeks. Then you can get out the calculator and work out your rough average daily and weekly calories. Find out what your recommend calories are to maintain your weight then just look at how to cut off an averaging of 250 a day. That would allow you to lose 0.5lb a month. Not much but the point is its sustainable for someone who struggles to eat less. Ok it would take you 4 years to reach your goal weight at that rate but it could be done. Go on a strict diet and you may well do what you've done before regain the weight and in 4 years time be even heavier.

Well OP, you did post in AIBU so must have expected a lot of home truths harsh replies in response to your increasingly long list of excuses. I am saying this in the kindest possible way...

YOU ARE FULL OF EXCUSES.

Nobody else can do this for you. There is no magic wand or easy way to weight loss/the perfect body. Accepting that this is something you will need to work at; sacrifice for and above all EARN is the first step.

The only person who can affect change in you is yourself. Everybody is different and what works for one won't work for another. If you genuinely want to change, then you have to look at strategies that will work for you, that you can realistically sustain long-term.

My advice at this stage would be to google CBT techniques. Changing your internal monologue to a positive one will have a big impact on your willpower and motivation.

Next, write a list of exercises/activities you genuinely enjoy and another of ones you like the look of but have never tried.

Now a list of healthy meals/foods you like and ones that appeal to you to try.

Then look at your weekly routine and identify any free time available to you. Be honest with yourself here.

• Begin with small goals. It only takes 3 days for something to become a habit.

• Reward yourself for small achievements with non-food prizes (makeup, cinema trip, shoes, clothes, one episode of DVD box set etc).
• Distract yourself from food cravings by brushing your teeth.
• Keep a food/exercise journal and write everything down honestly.
• Allow yourself occasional food treats that won't ruin your hard work (unusual fruit, frozen yoghurt, lentil crisps, granola bar, hot chocolate etc), so you don't feel deprived.

As pp have said, join the weight loss boards for support. They will be just as good if not better than anything the NHS can provide to someone in your situation.

Good luck! You can do it

There are LOADS of exercise vids on YouTube you can do at home for free. The Body Coach low impact ones are fab. Or Yoga with Adriene. Write down what you eat in a day and be honest.

It's hard work. I took off 2st a few years ago and if I don't watch out, it creeps up (I'm 47). I struggle with depression and PTSD but it's really use it or lose it.

No magic bullets.

I can't afford a gym but certainly don't expect anyone to pay for one for me.

You really do have an excuse for everything.

There really is no secret formula to losing weight other than eating less, whether that's through calorie counting, intermittent fasting or joining SW or WW. You just need to choose a method and go for it. I don't know what you expect the GP to do.

I have gallstones so low carb doesn't work for me if done with high fat. I can't eat eggs, butter. Cheese only in tiny amounts.
It's worth doing a bit of research on this. Low Carb High Fat doesn't cause gallstones, however it can exacerbate symptoms of you already have them. The usual advice would be to increase your fat intake gradually to give your body time to adapt.

I have tried 5:2 a few years ago but I ended up feeling really ill on the fast days and was dizzy/ had blurred vision at work.
This can happen because your electrolytes become imbalanced. There are ways around this. The talk boards will be able to advise you on how to avoid it.

I have nowhere to heat or store food at work so breakfast and lunch in the week has to be something I can make at home and eat cold.
So 16:8 might be ideal for you since you wouldn't be having breakfast and would only need suggestions for cold lunches.

I can't win can I. I'm not sure what you want me to say.

My Ex said I was worthless and disgusting. You all seem to either be telling me I am or want me to say I am. Like I'm the big fat pig who should repent of their greedy ways.

I do want to stop. I have tried multiple times over the last couple of years since I started gaining weight. And I struggle to stick to it. I don't want a magic solution. But I've not always been this size. When I was thin i never exercised. I work 12 or more hours a day now so finding time is hard. Plus I am constantly tired. I did exercise a lot. Please don't treat me like some bad lazy person. I didn't start exercising when I lost weight until I was much lighter than I am now.

I could do more. But I'm never going to lose weight by going for a couple of extra walks. Running 15 miles a week toned me. I didn't lose any weight from it. I need to control my diet.

I can write down what I eat of course. Lots of people said do MFP. I was saying why I can't do that. Not that I can't write down what I eat. Which you know I never said and are just trying to make me look a fool.

I just saw your update of a typical day's food. Some ideas:

Porridge is better than toast for breakfast in keeping you full. Some protein in the morning is good too.

The meal deals are not your friend - the sandwiches are just bad, not to mention the crisps and soft drink. They're expensive for what you get, and not even that nice.

I eat large dinners and understand the need to fill full and safe. But the bread-and-butter as a side could be dropped - and the supper snack should really go as should having snacks in the house (too tempting).

If you cut out the extra bread and cereal in the evening, you could make room for smaller treats which are actually treats - a good chocolate bar or cheese, biscuits and grapes.

I'm really sorry to hear that you were in such a terrible relationship -
of course your priority was to get through that. You have survived which is amazing.

It's hard, hard, hard, but all of this is solvable. Keep going!

As an example. peanut butter, cheese, dairy butter, chocolate, cake, crisps, white bread and fried carbohydrate foods are extremely calorific. A portion of peanut butter isn't enough for one crumpet IMO. All those foods cause weight gain, don't eat them except as a condiment.

As for not doing slimming world because you didn't like the food - you can have anything you want except the above, which must be restricted to tiny amounts.

The doctor CAN'T help you. He can't have willpower for you. You ARE being unreasonable to expect them to help you, because this isn't a medical problem, it's behavioural and only you can fix that

I'm starting to think that this is a joke but if not here goes:
What you eat sounds similar to my diet. However, I am 5'2 and 7 and a half stone. I eat very normal stuff. I never buy low calorie or diet foods except for sugar free drinks. I eat butter and full-fat cheese. I do a 20 minute work out 3 times a week at the gym and I make sure my portion sizes are not big. I do not have sugar in my tea and I do not drink milky drinks such as lattes. I limit myself to one sweet dish a day. I basically eat normal food and do not exercise excessively. My portion sizes are on the small side. I do not eat until I am full but until I am satisfied.

I hope that helps.

If its any consolation, OP, I have become obese because of illness/disability. I am unable to exercise. I would be able to do more walking if I could drop weight, possibly.

My GP has said that there isn't the funding anymore for a 'lowlevel' case like mine, I'm 16 stone and would have previously been entitled to go to the rehab gym in the Hospital. I need a specialist graded exercise plan.

I know that funding has been cut to help young Adults with LDs/conditions, whose weight is related to that.

The NHS can't give you motivation, which is all you need.

OP have you had any support over the messages your ex gave you?
You are not a 'big fat pig' anyone who called/calls you one should be ashamed.
You took in too much food to survive emotionally.
Now you have excess you need to shift for your health.
Yes you need diet advice but you might also need support with the emotional strain which led to the over-reliance on food?

There seems little point in haranguing OP for not having more will power as that is unlikely to make her slimmer. If she is unable to lose weight via will power and she doesn't get help she will ultimately cost the NHS more than a weight loss program ever will as she will get diabetes or another obesity related illness.

But what it ultimately boils down to is that weight loss, and sustained maintenance, is down to willpower. It simply is.

What help do you feel a seriously overstretched NHS can give? And what other service do you propose cutting to fund that?

Weight is a hugely emotive issue. I'm a reformed morbidly obese person. But I seriously couldn't have looked at myself in the mirror and convinced myself that the NHS should have had to get involved in my recovery. I put the weight on: it was my responsibility to take it off.

Keep going; you get there in the end.

We all struggle to stick to it. But the hard truth is that there's no other way. Now, you can fight against that truth, or dig in and get on with it.

It's sometimes boring - all the planning meals and not being able to just nip into the shop for a quick treat to cheer me up are things I find hard, mentally.

But I really don't want to get diabetes. And I don't want to die you. Or have a stroke. Or, honestly, I just don't want to feel shit about myself any longer.

Not really any different to you. I know why my relationship with food is shit (it's related to childhood trauma) but knowing WHY doesn't change what I have to do to lose weight now.

You've just gotta do it. Or not, and continue to feel worse about yourself, which doesn't seem like something you want to do. You WANT to do this, I can feel it coming out of your posts. You're just in the wrestling-with-the-reality phase, like with any addiction.

My Ex said I was worthless and disgusting. You all seem to either be telling me I am or want me to say I am. Like I'm the big fat pig who should repent of their greedy ways

Ok, you're being defensive understandably. You know no one on here is saying that, but what is being said is stop making excuses and take control.

An example being you said you can't do high fat diets due to gallstones then proceeed to tell us you already eat a very high fat diet now. Any LCHF diet would probably be much lower in fat than you're currently eating.

Maybe try to open up to some suggestions? Instead of shooting every thing down as not possible, not being your fault then attacking everyone and accusing them of insinuating what was never ever insinuated.