To expect some help from my GP in losing weight?

[Chubbychubchub]

I am a fatty. Properly overweight. About 8 stone over normal weight range (about 19st, I should be 11st at most according to BMI).

Last year I had some health issues. My GP said I'd benefit from losing weight. Just eat less and move more were her words.

I have tried. However I struggle to control what I eat, and have zero willpower.

I did go to a well known slimming group previously. It made me ill, though I did get down to 13st. But it wasn't sustainable.

I asked my GP for help. I was told 'all they could do was refer me to the nurse, but she would tell me the same. That was all they could do and there was no other help available.

I have heard of people locally being referred to a dietician, or sent to slimming group for free etc. Aibu to expect something similar, or certainly some kind of help beyond trite advice?

My god, some people on here ....... OP, I’ve had a problem with food issues all my life.... there is help available. Wales has a specialist obesity clinic run by Mr Haboubi, there should be an equivalent in England. Satiety, ( when we have that full sensation ) can be affected by medications, sometimes alarmingly so. Professionals will help sort out your eating issues and guide you to the tools that will best help you to help yourself. All the very best. Don’t give up.

O and Anyone who used to run as much as you is not lazy.

I agree. Few people do that and the fact OP managed it despite being overweight suggests that she does have willpower. She just needs a little more to motivate her at the moment and tap into that.

You are fat and you need to lose weight it may sound harsh but find some will power, exercise and eat the right things. If you’re need professional help then there are people and clinics out there but you will most likely have to pay. Stop thinking that the NHS has some magic cure for you as this is the reason that it is in the situation it is in.

Crazyunicornlady and others about to post

Please please read the full thread. The op has just escaped an abusive situation. There is far more to this than simple calorie counting. Please give the op a break!

Hi OP, think the things that will help you at the moment are facing reality - there are no quick fixes and only you can do this for you. Followed by learning as much as you can about how the body works and what you can do to help yourself. A calorie counting book or app along with food weighing scales is useful as it is easy to miscalculate what you are eating and how much is a portion and often we are convinced a particular food is good or bad for us and are completely wrong. There is plenty of information on how useful support groups are including internet ones. My personal recommendation is to keep a food diary for a week and be really honest on it. Found it a real eye-opener. There are apps for this that do all the calculations on calories/fat/sugar for you. To move more, can just go up and down the stairs at home more often, get off bus/train a stop earlier and walk, leave the car at home and walk instead, do ironing / some activity in front of TV, rather than sitting down. Also recommended doing teeth after evening meal . minty taste in mouth helps reduce cravings for salty snacks in the evening. Also, try not to buy lots of high fat/salt low nutritional foods - if not in the house, you may crave them less. Good luck.

OP, it is clear the problem is in your mindset. Not the food, not the lack of exercise. These are merely consequences. You seriously need to work on how you view and VALUE yourself. Treat yourself as a child, look after yourself, nourish yourself, give yourself some love. You need to deal with the cause of why you engage in self-harm through food. It is that, self-harm. There are a lot of excellent practical tips on this thread, but you are not in the right place mentally to see them and take them on board. You only see attacks on you and accusations and shaming. Because this is what is going on inside your head.

If I were you, I wouldn’t even think about calories. Concentrate on looking after yourself. Emotionally and physically. Look after yourself by giving yourself good quality nourishing food. Look after yourself by giving your body the exercise and movement it craves. Don’t think in terms of I can’t, think of what you CAN do. A little shift in your mindset will translate in massive massive external changes, and your body is only one aspect of it. Don’t apologise, don’t hide, don’t blame. Approach life with a good, positive, can do attitude. Mistakes and failures WILL happen, they are only a learning opportunity and nothing more 🌹

Op....Firstly, I'm so sorry you were in an abusive relationship, abusers really fuck you up, They are manipulative bastards. I totally get the conection with food. You use food to stuff down your feelings, it gives you comfort. If you were an alcoholic you would get help. Alcoholics can stop drinking but you can't stop eating. A lot of people on here don't understand the emotional connection, it's why there are so many eating disorders out there.
If I was you I would go back to my Doctor and tell him why you need help. You have to reconnect with yourself through counselling, or better through CBT, to regain your self esteem. All the diet advice in the world doesn't help much if your head's not right. When you are emotionally stronger you will lose weight, because you've done it before. Cherry pick all the things you find helpful on this thread and ignore the others. Good luck

Hi OP, this may be worth checking out:
shrinkyourself.com/public/welcome.asp Is about emotional eating. Wishing you well,

Overeaters Anonymous is an amazing fellowship, using the 12 step principles of AA. Being overweight is a symptom of the disease of compulsive overeating and most definitely not a sign of weakness or a lack of willpower.

I feel the same as an earlier poster who said that it was the best thing they ever did. My life is now unrecognisable and I have a worldwide support network, there for me night and day. There are no dues or fees, just a voluntary contribution towards room rent and literature for those that are able.

Take a look at this photo. The photo on the left was taken a couple of months after I'd visited my doctor desperate for help weighing in at 289lb (20st 9). At 5'2" I was super morbidly obese and unable to walk across a room without crutches. My GP was basically no help, he said the only way I'd lose the weight was surgery.....

So instead of just accepting the inevitable I got off my bum and started doing something about it for myself. I joined MFP (you can use it on your computer or in the internet browser of your phone), got myself a Fitbit and started eating fewer Calories than I was using. As the weight dropped off I became more and more active, but I didn't follow any faddy diet or demonise any food. I ate the same as always just less.

Today I have lost 142lb (still overweight by BMI), have a bodyfat % of 27% (want to get that down 25% to go from normal to athletic), have maintained that loss for almost 6months and am training to run a marathon (having already run 2 halfs).

If it's something you want to do then you need to get your head in the right place and do it. And that's not being mean or fat shaming, it's simply stating a fact. The only one that can lose the weight is you.

Firef1y what an utterly brilliant transformation. Bloody well done x

Thank you @Allthecoolkids and just to clarify a few things. I spent 13 years in a highly abusive relationship (every type of abuse possible) then spent a few years living well below the breadline (at one point I was feeding myself on

Wow Firefly well done you!!

Firefly that's amazing! Your loss has taken years off you! I'd love to be able to run a half marathon too but am far too lazy and unfit, so I'm doubly in awe

I think if you can shift an obsession from food to exercise you are on to a winner :)

FANTASTIC!! Firef1y and all the others who have battled against all the odds to lose weight, I am in awe!

Op would it help you to have a buddy system from somebody who has gone through what you are going through?

OP, I was a GP. Although I have never had weight issues, more to do with genetics than any great discipline on my part, I always had great sympathy for those who struggled with their weight. Having excluded possible contributing factors I.e. your abused history, which always needed to be addressed first, tried all the drugs available on prescription, referral to dietitians, CBT etc. Have to be honest, I failed miserably compared to the local Slimming world group. Worth a try.

OP look up the eating blueprint.

Not rtft but three things:
You want to re-educate yourself so you eat until you are no longer hungry, not until you're full.
Cut out all the bread and snacks. I personally wouldn't switch to porridge though - I find it makes me much hungrier. Maybe try some fruit or (sacrilege I know) skip breakfast.
Exercise absolutely does help you lose weight. I weigh myself every day (also not the done thing) and there is always a difference if I've exercised. And that's without taking into account the long term effect of increased metabolic rate.

Wow. I haven't read through all these replies but some people aren't very sympathetic! I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. They should offer more support. I agree with those who have suggested CBT. Have you considered mindful eating/Paul McKenna?

For will power you need to find what motivates you. Choose one thing to change and concentrate on that and then reward yourself for achieving it. So for instance I love my wine at the end of the day but realized it needs to stop for my health. I ‘pay’ myself the amount I would have spent on wine at the end of the month. I never spend money on myself so this motivates me to not drink. Once something is not a habit it is easier to let it go.

Once I stopped drinking I slept better (went to bed earlier because I was bored). Then I had more energy so started being more active. It feels great - hope you find something that works for you.

Sorry haven't had time to read 21 pages of messages, but could you not start by taking up more gentle exercise e.g. walking or going swimming during the week. If sustainable, try joining the gym or working out at home - this does take some discipline - only you know if you have enough of that - but it does get results after a while. With regard to eating, have you tried altering your eating pattern to include foods that will keep you fuller for longer so you are less inclined to snack mid morning or afternoon or are higher in protein in order to help build and maintain muscle (in conjunction with exercise).

I'm no specialist so I think it would be a good idea to ask your GP for a referral to a dietary specialist or if you can afford it, to book a one-off appointment with a nutritionist who will give you more in depth advice.

ah, the people who don't read 521 messages when they post and this their opinion is really worth posting... when if they had read they could see the OP has other issues and can't go swimming!!!

@firef1y goodness me what an absolute amazing transformation and inspiration. I hope you feel very proud of yourself.

Just one question, you say " I don't have a gallbladder and so can't eat full fat or dairy". I don't understand. Why can't you eat full fat or dairy without a gallbladder. I have also had my gallbladder removed and eat both.

@BitOutOfPractice Because I am one of a good number of people that cannot handle large amounts of fat in their diet after having had their gallbladder removed. (Am also lactose intolerant). I can eat it but would need to be near a toilet for at least 24 hours.

I've always struggled with my weight..I've lost a lot (5 1/2 stone)...I've put some back on (currently 2 stone)..it's hard to lose (even with regular fasting and a lot of daily exercise)..it's incredibly easy to put back on. For me it's all mental..and a huge part of the mental battle is the tendency to "catastrophic thinking" - the black and white thinking that says - well I've eaten this...I've blown it..I might as well have another. Before you all pile on me, it's really hard to understand that battle (and how you can swing from "winning it" and losing, to "losing it" and gaining) if you haven't fought it for years and years yourself. When you say to someone "you just need to find some willpower" you are really wrong, because it's not just a case of finding some and then losing the weight..it's finding some and exercising it every day for the rest of your life - THAT is what it takes to both lose the weight (very difficult, but arguably the easier part) and maintain it (so very difficult). And food is NOT like cigarettes, or alchohol, or pornography, or gambling, or cocaine, or whatever..you do NOT have to expose yourself to these things on a daily basis..but you do have to eat..every day..and with every mouthful there is always the danger of relapsing and bingeing. It's very real, and ever present. So please, to those of you who have done it successfully (well done), and those of you who have never had to do it (lucky you), try not to look down on those of us who haven't (or who have had multiple cycles of "success and "failure" )..we aren't any less committed or desiring or anything than you are. It's not about that. We are just trying and struggling, that's all. Like the username says "It's a sair (hard) fecht (fight)."