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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is weird

169 replies

Laurenmclovely · 25/02/2018 11:34

Basically my mum sent a video to the family WhatsApp of them both in the bath. I just think that it's highly inappropriate for them to still be bathed together! I mean surely there's an age where it just becomes creepy? I wouldn't bathe my 8 month old with a sibling at that age. I might just be over reacting but it's just really creeped me out !

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 25/02/2018 11:50

Nothing weird about the bath, but mother should prob not film it and deffo not send on Whatsapp. The children have no control about images of their nakedness and may be embarassed when they are older. Sadly there are issues about use and abuse of innocent pictures. Best not to circulate them. It prob didnt occur to mother, she would think they looked sweet

Original poster
Laurenmclovely · 25/02/2018 11:50

Fission chips I never implied anything of the sort?!!

OP posts:
FissionChips · 25/02/2018 11:52

Then what exactly is your worry? It sounds like that’s exactly what you think but just don’t have the guts to say it.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2018 11:52

Laurenmclovely you do though through having an issue with different genders in the bath because what else could it be?

WillowWept · 25/02/2018 11:52

It's weird that you think it's weird.

I can't remember when mine stopped bathing together but definitely still were at 1, 6 & 7. Probably got photos to prove it somewhere

RebelRogue · 25/02/2018 11:53

Might be a dick, but don't see what anxiety has to do with finding two siblings bathing together creepy. Even more so that you'd find it creepy if one of them was an 8 month old baby.

Original poster
Laurenmclovely · 25/02/2018 11:53

Queen of gaviscon unless you actually have anxiety you have no idea just how much it affects your thoughts processes or you daily life. I'm not using is as an excuse for anything I'm explaining that sometimes I can misinterpret things because of it. No need to be so damn mean

OP posts:
Herewegoagainagain · 25/02/2018 11:53

OP, I meant messages you pass onto your own children (not your parents) by your own attitude on this. You don't want a daughter feeling that it's 'wrong' to bath with her brother because he's a boy. And you don't want to inadvertently treat a son like there's something wrong with him for being around his sister unclothed when both are children

ShawshanksRedemption · 25/02/2018 11:53

What are you worrying about though OP? What is it about the photo that made you uncomfortable?

upsideup · 25/02/2018 11:55

Its actually really wierd and disturbing that you think is inappropriate. My 10 year old dd got in the bath with her 3 year old sister this morning, not distrubing in the slightest my 10 year old isnt a sex offender.

Northernknickers · 25/02/2018 11:55

Eh?? I am staggered that you perceive this to be 'creepy'. And 'anxiety' has nothing to do with your (frankly very odd!!) thoughts on this! What on earth is the problem? Seriously...they are children, siblings, bathing at Nanny's house FFS!!

The fact that your mum was filming this and sharing it might be considered a bit 🙄 but as it was only a family WhatsApp, then I guess it's ok (I personally wouldn't be filming two children of that age in the bath, but 🤷‍♀️).

RebelRogue · 25/02/2018 11:56

But what is the actual worry? If it was the fact that she shared them with adults (that probably don't get off on it but they might) I could kinda see it.
However you are worried about an 8yo boy bathing with his sister because....?

Original poster
Laurenmclovely · 25/02/2018 11:57

Fission chips I would never think anything of the sort. Every family is different and all I'm trying to say for me personally, if my 8 month old son was to have a sibling there would come a time when I would think that they should bathe separately.

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 25/02/2018 11:57

As an aside, if your anxiety is high enough that you're worrying over things that most see as innocent, if you haven't already a trip to the GP may help you get some support. Anxiety is horrible and can make you feel irrational, so I do understand where you are coming from. But an 8yr old and 2yr old bathing together is perfectly natural to most people.

FissionChips · 25/02/2018 11:57

But WHY do you think that? What is your reasoning?

Ellie56 · 25/02/2018 11:58

Ha ha I thought it was a video of OP's parents too. Grin Grin .

Now that would have been well weird.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2018 11:59

Yes, I think why is the question.

What is it that makes you feel it’s not appropriate?

Bumbumtaloo · 25/02/2018 11:59

Tbh OP there are lots of posters who do have anxiety on varying levels myself included. Not wanting to play anxiety tops trumps.

Personally I see no issue with siblings being bathed together as long as they are happy with it. I have two DD’s who are 8 and (almost) 6 who shower together and separately. They both used to jump in the shower/bath (we now only have a shower) with DH until he decided - when eldest DD was around 3 - that he actually prefers to have the space to himself.

Rosiie · 25/02/2018 11:59

My 4 year DD and 5 year old DS still share a bath, it's just easier to put them in one bath than to have two separate baths. They play together with the bubbles and their toys.But I'm gonna stop soon tbh, he's getting to an age where he's aware of certain things, and she sometimes doesn't like to get dressed if he's in the same room. She will say " X is looking at me " lol.

QueenOfGaviscon · 25/02/2018 12:00

I'm really not being mean. Must be your anxiety again. I do live with anxiety. Clinically diagnosed.

So pray do tell how your anxiety is relevant to this situation?

arethereanyleftatall · 25/02/2018 12:00

So, you don't think anything sexual is going on (which it wouldn't be, 8 is still an innocent child). So, what is the problem with the bath?

Blackteadrinker77 · 25/02/2018 12:01

I've found that the elder child will tell you when the time is. They start to want privacy and not want Grandma or baby sibling in the bath room with them.

There is nothing wrong with this OP, no need to worry about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/02/2018 12:01

Yes very inappropriate for her to be bathing with her grandson and he is 8. Woukd you be ok with it, if it was grandad bathing with his 8 year old granddaughter? Doubt it.

Original poster
Laurenmclovely · 25/02/2018 12:01

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them seeing their siblings naked, I'm just saying that around 8-10 years old kids become interested in the human body that's all. I'm not saying that anything inappropriate would ever happen just there has to be a line drawn. I would have no problem bathing kids together up until a point. And for me personally it would be around the age of 7

OP posts:
upsideup · 25/02/2018 12:03

anxiety does make me worry unnecessarily but it just made me extremely uncomfortable

Anxiety does not exuse the fact that you would think your 8 month old son bathing with a hypothetical older sibing is wrong. If you do have another child I really dont think imposing sexualised restrictions on them whilst they are still children (babies!) would be a good idea at all.