To want to move back to the uk

[Huldas]

Have been in New Zealand many years, husband is a kiwi and kids were born here. My DDs are 7 and 10 now and I don't think the education system here compares to the uk. Standards for educational achievement are just not as high. Plus I want DDs to have a sense of their UK heritage. And I am very homesick. Dh has lived in the UK before, we could both get good jobs in the UK assuming we can get dh a visa (not easy when in 40s)
But- logistically is giant hassle to move back, I have no family in the UK at the moment, and right now it is just me who wants this. DH and DDs are quite happy here.
Would it be unreasonable to pursue this? Do my concerns re education/heritage have any actual grounds?
Any advice appreciated (including areas to move to- am originally from Devon, want to avoid London if poss.)

reinettepompadour I'm very pro-uk so I'm not knocking it but those were the pros that I could see when I visited NZ.

I love the British countryside, but it can't compete with NZ, it is just stunning there in places, we don't have anywhere like Milford Sound, the glaciers, Rotarua, the places where Lord of the rings were filmed.

Some kids can have an outdoorsy lifestyle you describe depending where you live, you can seek it out, but it is not ingrained in our lifestyle like it is in NZ and Oz. I think weather, overcrowding in some areas, hours of daylight in the winter and the hours parents work all play a part in that. What your kids do sounds great but it's hardly typical of the average kid in the UK.

My comment about the meat was based on being on a v limited backpackers budget in NZ where I felt the supermarket meat was as good as what you'd get in a butcher here. The veg isn't as fresh though and there's obviously a lot less choice.

Hi there. I’m in the exact same position but in the uk wanting to move back to nz after 20 years here in the uk. Husband is British, kids born here, we go back every 2-3 years and I would go back tomorrow if I could. We have a good quality of life here but I wish my kids could have had the experience of having some growing up time in nz, one wants to go back, the other is ambivalent about it. They are 12and 14, but have been to school in nz once when I went back for 3months and put them into a primary school there while I dealt with some family stuff. Husband likes it there but doesn’t want to li ve there, fair enough. It’s hard, especially as my parents are elderly and becoming frail now. The education here in the uk is nowhere near as good in my opinion as the system in nz and all the statistics bear this out. It is a beautiful country, the people are lovely, it’s not paradise though and I think there are things that are not as good as the uk, but overall it’s a great place to grow up and although I’m biased I think you would be doing your kids a disservice to bring them to Britain now. I feel trapped here in some ways but have come to face the fact that this is how it is and am making the best of it as much as I can. Sorry you feel homesick, it’s pretty shit to feel that way. Only you can change the way you feel, and hankering for home isn’t going to make you feel any happier. Xx

We are leaving the UK to return to my home. We have no family here and after nearly 10 years I'm ready.

But I would echo pp who said check the visa status for your dh and wait 12 months after Brexit to see how that pans out.

I get the missing home, and rose tinted memories of it but we went to Aus for Christmas which confirmed to me that I'm ready now to leave the UK.

I want dh (not British) to be keen too which he is now, as such a big move does need all, or at least most, of the family wanting it.

Don't do it! UK is FUCKED.

Sorry that you are feeling homesick OP It is a very odd feeling of not belonging or always feeling like an outsider when you have lived away for a long time. You feel you don’t quite belong in the country you have moved to and long to go back home but when you do you find don’t quite belong there either. Moving back is not the answer you risk making your family unhappy just to relive your nostalgic view of life here.

I did my secondary school education in NZ and thought it was quite good (although our languages could be better). A PP mentioned history; I recall doing Tudor England, WW1 and WW2, the American civil war, Irish history (establishment of the Free State), apartheid South Africa, the colonisation of Australia and India/Pakistan, the creation of the EU, the Vietnam war, and the NZ Land Wars. Many people struggle to name the countries within the EU - I know brexit means the U.K. is leaving but the EU loathe it or love it will remain important for the foreseeable future.

Cost of living in NZ is high (utilities, housing, food) as my family do moan about it but brexit is driving costs upward in the U.K. too. If you’ve not been back for a while, I’d take a holiday first. Secretflying.com has had some good deals as of late.

I get lovely summers with lots of sunshine here in the UK. Climates are similar although mountains and different latitudes modify. Temperate zone - always good.

Dunedin will obviously be cold, clues in the name. I don't live in Edinburgh.

You can replicate your English childhood. We have. It depends on where you go!

Children play out here, bike in the local meadows, go hunting in the stream...

The education system is good too. (Although I don't like forest school)
If you like history there are more historical sites to see in Europe I imagine. And sport is pretty good.

I spent part of my childhood in NZ. I love the UK and will stay living here. But gosh, I don't think I recognise some of the NZ or UK other MNers live in.

@ReinettePompadour You cant beat the English countryside. Its much more accessible than in NZ I think most people will disagree with you on this. NZ is famous for its countryside. Just in the north island near Auckland we have Tongariro, Taupo, Rotarua, ninty mile beach. DH is from Taranaki, it's off the tourist route and it's breathtakingly gorgeous. A snow capped mountain everywhere you look at the background from New Plymouth. As for accessability. I don't know where you live in the UK. In NZ, I lived in central Auckland. It's so easy for me to get to beaches, parks and even a volcanic island. I'm in south hampshire, and I have to say the new forest is so built up we won't even call it the countryside. Bournemouth is nice but so crowded compared even to Mission Bay. Brighton doesn't have sand!

As for the weather, @specialsubject, I disagree it's similar. Auckland has much warmer summers that is reliably sunny and hot for at least 3 months. We never freeze. Hampshire is probably some of the warmest part of England, and we don't have reliable summers here. (I consider 25C day time temperature to be summer). 20C is still chilly for me.

Weather is as good in the UK as it is in NZ.

Pull the other one.

Dunedin will obviously be cold, clues in the name. I don't live in Edinburgh.

Oh so it's pronounced as Dun-Edin and not Dune-din? Didn't know that.

I think what reinettepompadour means is the English countryside is configured differently to NZ, it is gentler and there is a village every few miles or so. NZ countryside is breathtaking but can be dangerous and the settled bits are miles of farmland with no village etc. When we first got here my English dad decided to go for a ramble one weekend. He planned to go for two or three days (to my dad a ramble was staggering from village pub to village pub, buying things that had fallen off the back of a lorry along the way). He was back after half a day complaining that the layout of the countryside was all wrong!
Am ashamed to admit none of us are really outdoorsy or sporty so that aspect would not matter so much.
Blindlemonalley absolutely spot on, I don't feel like I belong in either country in terms of being accepted. Here I am a pom but in the UK people see me as an nzer. It burns me up!

Oh so it's pronounced as Dun-Edin and not Dune-din? Didn't know that.

Yep, it's dun-eden.

we lived in NZ for 5 years ( 1997-2001). We moved back when my two eldest ds's were 2.5 and 8 months. I'm really glad we had family to move back to as realistically we lived with my parents for 6 months until we managed to buy a house / find jobs and get settled. I have often considered going back to NZ but the thought of doing it the other way with kids is overwhelming. I think realistically one of you might have to move here, find a job and house and then move the rest of the family over.

Huldas thanks for the English perspective. This is probably exactly why I don't think much of the countryside here. There's a village every few miles in the new forest and also the lake district. (The two country parks I've been to). When I first got here, the new forest was such a disappointment. I didn't expect anything so built up at all. (I've since learned forest means something very different in old english).

I didn't think nz countryside is dangerous however. Oz on the other hand ...

In NZ, when you go tramping on dept of conservation tracks, you are away from any civilisation for days. You stay in huts or you can pitch a tent anywhere you like.

I have lived outside of the UK for over 20 years. The homesickness still hits me from time to time. I have been through some periods when it has lasted for a few months, but it has always passed. It might be that you are having a period of homesickness rather than that you really need to move back. I find that going back once a year is enough for me. If I am away from a couple of years then I start to miss it, but a week is enough for me to get my "fix" and then go home. Your homesickness might be a sign that you need to go back and visit your home for a while, rather than that you need to move. Maybe you could plan financially for visits every 4-5 years from now on and that would be enough for you to feel the connection you are missing now?

Nz is the size of the UK but with only 5 million people ( up 20% in 10 years..) Only a million or so live on the south island so it is gloriously uncrowded - but there are huge areas of wilderness. E.g fiordland, stunning but miles of thick forest, infested with sandflies by day and mosquitoes by night, and with huge amounts of rain.

So yes, rather different from the new forest!

No dangerous animals, deaths are drowning, exposure and falls. General big nz risk is cars, they have a kill rate over double that of the UK despite those empty roads. Lots of ' single vehicle accidents' , Darwin award jobs - but also head ons. Tired tourists, drunks and low driving age although at least it isn't 15 now.

I didn't think nz countryside is dangerous however. Oz on the other hand ...

I've just returned from taking our dog for a walk and nearly got attacked by an Emu. It was bloody huge and scary (Emu not dog).

Animals in Oz are out to kill you. You don't get that in the New Forest or NZ maybe?

What about theatres and culture though?
I like the countryside but I don't like too rural. It's inconvienent.
Depends what you like though.

They're not "out to kill" anyone...unless you wander into their habitat.

For example, I don't swim in areas which are known sharky spots. I won't go to the beach where blue ringed octopus are known to frequent and I don't walk through long grass on hot days! (snakes)

I don't put on my boots without shaking them first (spiders) and I don't stick my hand under rocks either.

I've only seen one venomous snake in three years here. Though I have seen multiple evil spiders.

Ajas my out to kill you comment was tongue in cheek. Clearly not blatant enough.

Yes defo no dangerous animals in nz, but you can’t take your eyes off the outdoors for a minute! A PP was right, exposure, drowning etc. Had been back in uk for a while before I realised there was no steady stream of death by outdoors in the media.