To want to move back to the uk

[Huldas]

Have been in New Zealand many years, husband is a kiwi and kids were born here. My DDs are 7 and 10 now and I don't think the education system here compares to the uk. Standards for educational achievement are just not as high. Plus I want DDs to have a sense of their UK heritage. And I am very homesick. Dh has lived in the UK before, we could both get good jobs in the UK assuming we can get dh a visa (not easy when in 40s)
But- logistically is giant hassle to move back, I have no family in the UK at the moment, and right now it is just me who wants this. DH and DDs are quite happy here.
Would it be unreasonable to pursue this? Do my concerns re education/heritage have any actual grounds?
Any advice appreciated (including areas to move to- am originally from Devon, want to avoid London if poss.)

I don’t live in NZ but I am British and live overseas. Me and DH (also British but as US Citizen now) recently took the decision to educate our daughter in the US rather than go back to the UK. We have a very nice life here and our daughter is a little New Yorker with the accent and everything. We really did consider everything carefully and just decided here was better for her and all of us. There was also the knock-on effect of Brexit to consider.

And even though I am loathe to say it, if you have health insurance over here (and we can talk all day about how terrible it is if you don’t) then I have to say I have far more confidence in the health service here than in the UK.

No, the surname thing is less relevant as time goes on. Not many people here now would recognise those original surnames. Curriculum does still focus on British history rather than NZs own fascinating history. I have a history degree so make sure I fill DDs in where I think they are lacking.
My distrust of the education system here is based on having worked in education in the UK and compared what was expected of the kids there with my education in NZ at decent state schools. DDs go to a decent state school here, I wouldn't be comfortable going private but can certainly supplement with tutors etc. They are both bright just don't feel like school here encourages kids to reach their full potential.

10 years is a very long time.

Exams have been dumbed down and many children are still failing to achieve good grades.

It's an alien world you'd be moving back to.

Try to visit and see life here.

Lol you guys are all killing it for me

Is it really that grim now? It wasn't a bed of roses when I was there in 2008, or the time before that in 1995, but it was certainly liveable with a goodish income.

I'm in a similar position. Sahm, just moved to a new town, know nobody. So miserable I've been thinking about moving back to the UK after 10 years. I even saw a job ad in the UK that could interest DH (he's French) but in reality, I don't think I could move back. A week is enough!

That said, I'm trying to start a business that will take me back to the UK more often, so maybe that privé a good compromise and will satisfy the sahm boredom homesickness.

but it was certainly liveable with a goodish income.

Depends what you call goodish. Lots of people are struggling and rent and house prices will make your eyes water. Have you looked at house prices in the area you want to live in?

Yep, 2008 was before the effects of the GFC were really felt. And the government changed. The repercussions have been huge.

Reading all the posts from others has confirmed my ideas about a move back to the UK. I moved to the US 15 years ago, have an American DH and 3 kids born here. After Sandy Hook a few years ago, I desperately wanted to move back and found to my surprise that the financial barriers to moving my non-EU spouse were pretty much insurmountable for us at the time. Every subsequent mass shooting hits home, and just today I had a conversation with my 9 year old about how things might be different if we returned to the UK (she asked if she would be safe there). Its very, very difficult but financially we're so much better off here. I visit the UK once or twice a year, and I do see massive changes in the past decade there (few of them are positive). I'm now mostly ok with living here, to the extent that I became a citizen so I can help vote Trump out.

2008. Yup. Things have changed I'm afraid.

I don't think YABU as the pull for your home country can be very strong. I am from Aus and DH moved from UK to Aus to be with me as I was very homesick living in UK. we've now been here 12 yrs, both kids born here and we try to get back to UK every 2-3 years to see his family. I've always maintained that if DH ever had the strong urge to move back to UK I would support it, our relationship is first priority. Currently we both agree the lifestyle we have here in Aus is much better than it would be in UK and we are happy here.
I would suggest you take a trip back - for an extended time if possible, often our memories if places are seen through rose tinted glasses

it's a massive decisio. Winters in the UK are long and very cold and dark. It's difficult when you've got kids and they're couped up inside and you'd love to see the playing and running about outside in the sun.

It’s a really good idea to go back for a visit and see how you get on. Not at Christmas when everyone is off work, in a festive mood and there are lots of things planned, but at a more normal time of year when friends and family are deep in their routines.

Everyone’s right when they say things have rapidly changed in the UK in recent years. You can argue about how much til the cows come home but I don’t think anyone can say either education or the health service has improved and most people will say it’s got worse.

It’s natural to be homesick, OP. I had a lovely childhood in a Northern town in the UK, school was fun with lots of extra-curricular activities and I played out all the time but it really isn’t like that anymore.

I really feel for you. I have been having similar feeling for some time after almost 10 years in California. However, when I think it through I realise that it would not be fair on our kids as there are more opportunities for them here and our quality of life is better. Yet my heart aches to be closer to my aging parents and I just have to wrap that ache up in distraction and make do with long trips back in the school holidays. We get paid far more here compared to the UK, better pensions etc, better weather, lower crime, but I often do dream about how life would have been if I had just stayed closer to home. My kids ahve not seen their grandparents in 4.5 years...

I’ve lived in the U.S. for about 45 yrs and for about 40 yrs dreamed of retiring in England or Wales.

I thought we could sell our ranch and returning as millionaire we could buy a lovely small holding in the West country or Wales. A two month stay in England 5 yrs ago changed my mind. I am shocked at how the country has changed.

Sadly you can’t go home again.

You are not wrong the education system in NZ is terrible. Below Australia, which is also terrible. But I agree with other posters, I think, in general, academic standards have declined....each year I read the curriculum for each of my kids' years at school and feel appalled at how little is in there, and how much "process" rather than content....

But I think if you are gen x, you have come from a time when academic standards were higher, pre-internet so attention and critical analysis skills were more useful and prevalent. Also, education swings in long term trends between vocational and academic, and while it peaked in academic when I went to school, it's now peaking at the other end - vocational, leaving me feeling that the kids are not getting a "real" education - but really, how useful are endless latin verb declensions and long winded physics formulae going to be?

How much have you actually lived in the UK? If you had family here it might be worth it but it sounds like you need to embrace and make improvements to your life in NZ.

Go on rightmove and look at house prices/rents in the area in the UK you'd want to return to. That might put you off completely. One salary could well go just on mortgage/rent, especially when you work out how much money you'd be left with after tax and national insurance.

Petrol/diesel is over £5 a gallon, train fares are exorbitant, local tax (council tax) is really high (ours is £1,500 a year for a tiny house). If your kids want to go to uni they'll come out with £50,000 of debt for the privilege. Public services, especially the NHS, are ludicrously underfunded. Crime is a big problem in most of our cities.

I think you should come for a holiday and see how it's changes since you left. I think you would be shocked. The UK probably won't measure up to your memories and you'll realise it's not the place you left.

I met a lovely 60 year old kiwi (I'm in oz) about a year back.
She moved to Australia when she was in her early 30's, had 2 kids here and left by the time the eldest was four, went "home" to NZ. Except it wasn't home anymore. Everything had changed, even the local shops and areas looked different... but she'd "only" been gone for six years. Everyone was struggling to find work and a lot of her friends and family had moved away to new places because they couldn't find work...
NZ wasn't home, Australia wasn't home... she went back to Australia and made it her home... and I think a lot of people do that.

As an expat (British in oz) that's stuck with me.

I'm sorry to say you very much have rose tinted glasses I've been here (oz) under 2 yrs and yes home sickness sucks but you must be logical and realise that the country left behind isn't the same.

The conservative government (elected after you left) have implemented large "austerity measures" that have left thousands worse off. Wages have stagnated, underemployment is an issue. Hundreds of thousands of people reliant on benefits (incl in work benefits) which are increasingly cut and put at risk. 0hr contracts are rife and the system isn't set up to support that so if you're on varying 0hrs then the dwp and tax credits don't want to know... but a lot of people are and suffer with it.

Foodbank usage is at an all time high. Trussel trust (just one "brand" of foodbank, there's Also soup kitchens and Salvation Army foodbanks) handed out over 1 million food parcels last year and there's a foodbank in most towns and cities. Some say it's because people want "freebies" but the food in food bank boxes (mostly cheap spaghetti and uht milk.) isn't exactly worth fraud and you have to be assessed by cab or a social worker.

Teachers are leaving schools in droves and less are being trained. Which means 3 things.

1. They must be under immense pressure (and many have said so).
2. quality standards drop. You can't for eg demand a qualified teacher with 6 years of experience with primary kids if you know that you'll get an application a month at best. You'll take anyone with a PGCE and a pulse at that point.

Similar problems with healthcare. British workers in the nhs has been dropping for years (because despite relatively generous bursaries few train and those that do are likely to head overseas) so they get "imported" from the EU.
That's now at risk, and the nhs is facing a recruitment crisis. As well as longer A+E waiting times, non existent appointments in some areas (in my old area you're looking at a week wait emergency appt 4 weeks non emergency) and people actually dying because they can't get proper healthcare in time, medical neglect Seems to be becoming more common.

Library's and sure start centres shutting or have shut at the rate of knots.

Prices rose and likely continue to rise due to a drop in the value of £. This mostly effects imports (ie, food and drink). But will also effect foreign currency paid staff stationed in U.K.

Wages have stagnated... the wage I earned in 2001 (£8.40 an hour, entry level ish job, no degree) is now worth about £9 an hour. Bachelors often "preferred".... £8.40 an hour went a lot further back then. I had a decent ish standard of living. On £9 an hour nowadays in the UK I would be pretty much in poverty.

I'm not saying you shouldn't move back far from it and there are many great things but please do some research start reading British news and carefully plan this... don't follow your heart, follow your head if your head says yes, too. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.

OP if you want to compare Education systems this appears to be an interesting website it compares data from global studies of 15 yr olds. Aus is slightly ahead in most measures than the UK and NZ is slightly ahead of Aus . To be honest I can't be fagged to look at it all and what I want is a nice graphic like this but from 2017 not 2009.

I am with you OP. Up until 3 years ago, I was living in London. My children were at an amazing school rated outstanding. We moved to Sweden, back to where my DH grew up. I am homesick everyday.

The local school system here is vastly overrated and struggling to cope with all extra newcomers. It has failed two education inspections. I feel I have let my children down dragging them away from their London life. There is more to life than fresh air and a view.

Is it possible for you to take an extended break to the UK. Say a few months or come for the summer holidays. You must still have friends here, could they help. Ignore all the doom and gloom on this board. The UK is still a wonderful place to live. I go back every 3 months. I would move back in a heartbeat.

I have lived abroad (Italy) for 20 years and had a lot of the same feelings as you OP but, as others have pointed out, you are really yearning for something that doesn't even exist these days. Also if your DH doesn't want to move, you really can't do much about it! Mine doesn't and I can't take the kids away so that's it! You really need to see if you can resolve some of the problems you are experiencing where you are - you might find that even small changes make NZ more home for you.

I have lived overseas for around six years, and the feeling you get isn't just a touch of homesick, it is a form of grieving. I couldn't eat, sleep or think of anything but home at these times.

England (and the rest of the UK) is still a beautiful place to live and to raise children. It is much better than it used to be in the 70s/80s! It does have a good standard of schooling, and culturally very varied and the history of course. I am sure I would want to share this with my children too.

For your children's longest holiday come back for a month, in the summer, show them the sights, your childhood home. Meet up with old friends and see if this enough. You may just need an extended visit.

If you come back, and everyone loves it, you can consider things again.

Wow this thread is depressing, if the negatives of all of the UK are that bad why do so many people want to emigrate there?

Exams have been dumbed down

No, they have recently made them harder with the new grading system for GCSEs. You are right about the NZ and Aussie education system OP, it is poor. Education is not just about literacy skills anyway. I’ve found NZ to be insular and rather racist.

YANBU to want to move. You said you have never been happy in NZ. That was the part that stood out to me. It’s very sad and you deserve better.

AbsolutelyCorking
Because where they're from is worse
Because they have family
Because they work in finance/banking and they're better off in London than in another major eu city...
because it's best for their individual circumstances whatever they may be.
Because it's still widely thought that the UK the "mother" of the British empire is the place to be. The innovator, the number 1, the streets are paved with gold... I'd gather that's a factor for many, too...
lots of reasons..

It doesn't change the negatives, the things that have happened after OP left.
As I've said, I'm not telling op not to move but I am telling her to research carefully and follow her head not her heart.

There's no denying the many negatives that've cropped up in the last 10 years. There's no denying the lack of wage growth, worsening poverty, food bank use at an all time high, crippling rents across the country and public sector workers leaving their jobs or the country in droves.

There's no denying that homelessness has risen by 300% in some cities and that people in general are worse off now than 2008.

And if OP can recognise these issues, come up with a solution to not end up worse off (selling NZ home and buying somewhere cheap in the UK and being mortgage free is a heck of a boost to your lifestyle, for eg) then I wish her well.