Snide comment from MIL,AIBU?

[Jellybubbamama0987]

My MIL is a lovely woman and has been really helpful since I met her DS however there are times where I feel there’s been a few snide comments and this last one has really wound me up so guys help me AIBU?
My DD is 5 and I’ll admit I love a bargain so majority of her clothes are charity shop finds or hand me downs from our wonderful NDN so she has a shed load of beautiful, hardly worn, well looked after clothes both her size and next size up. We’re looking round a well known supermarket and I note the lovely clothes they have to offer and she slips in “ why don’t you spend some of her family allowance on some new clothes?” And “that it would be nice for DD to have some brand new clothes you know” Just how many clothes does she need?! I’ve got a 5 drawer chest filled with clothes, a wardrobe plus a few boxes because I have no where to store them otherwise so where exactly does she expect me to put these “brand new clothes”? I do buy her the occasional new item but I limit the amount as the above problem is there. I’m a SAHM as I care for my disabled partner so can’t work,money is tight and she’s pretty well off , so AIBU to pretty much not give into the pressure I’m feeling to buy clothes she most likely will never get round to wearing as she has more clothes that she could possibly wear before she outgrows them? Or is my anxiety issues making a mountain out of a mole hill and I should just ignore the mad fool and carry on?

Abbylee, I agree with you. My parents could afford it, they were just tight.

It was difficult for me at school because it was so obvious. You could see I was wearing clothes which were old fashioned in a bad way (eg just a few years out of date so ugly and dated rather than vintage).

Kids can tell and they’re cruel.

*Do you make a performance of buying second hand stuff because you can't afford otherwise? I can't understand why else your MIL would know that none of it was bought brand new.

TBH Asda/Primark aren't particularly any more expensive than charity shops. The only people I know who don't ever buy new things are tedious middle class Earth mother types.*

Goody much, Saucy Jack? There is nothing tedious about using perfectly good clothes that have barely been worn, FFS.

Be proud of your thriftiness! Don't let her bully you! Just tell her your DD has plenty of lovely clothes and you aren't going to waste your money just for the sake of buying new ones. Anyway it's none of her business.
If she's that bothered she can buy them herself.
My children wore second-hand clothes nearly all the time. They looked great.

We mothers in law can often get it wrong and cause offence without realising. Who know what she was thinking, but the main thing is you say she is lovely. Your relationship with her is valuable and often needs more work than with your own family. Forgive her and don't feel criticised. It is only a problem if it becomes a theme, if so gently and kindly explain you reasoning. If she felt too strongly she would buy a gift of clothes. I suspect she would be mortified you were hurt. Look after the important things in life. The teenage years will bring another story, for now, dress her how you prefer

I don't think the comment was snidey or out of order. She was just stating a fact that you get child benefit and therefore that money could be used for a new item of clothing. And not to feel guilty about it maybe.

As for preloved/second hand clothing, it's not an issue really. I can never find anything to my/her taste (6yo) and any eBay "bargains" end up being what I'd call play clothing unless I buy labelled (designer) items which are stupidly priced.

Definitely generational. My Mum and Dad came through WW2 and "make do and mend" was a code they lived by. I was the eldest but even so most of my clothes came from jumble sales charity shops and yes it did feel nice when I was earning my own money to buy new things.

Errr how does she know where you buy your daughter’s clothes? She can’t have much going on in her life if she has free time to ponder such trifles. Why don’t you suggest for next birthdayChristmas that MIL buys clothes for your daughter. If you like let this ho - just sounds like she is bored ?

I can't think why a 5 year old would mind hand me downs or second hand clothes.