MIL sucking on baby’s hand

[SilverBirchTree]

My 4 month old baby is going through a phase of constantly sucking on his hands and fingers.

Yesterday MIL said to baby ‘you like having your fingers sucked don’t you?’ and proceeded to put her mouth around his entire hand and suck.

My involuntary facial expression was . Seeing my reaction, MIL said in a baby voice ‘it’s good for my immunity mummy’ and then turned to the baby and in baby talk said ‘you need to build up your resistance. That’s a big word, resistance’ and so forth.

...She then continued to suck on his hands and fingers in front of me....

AIBU or is her behaviour as obnoxious as I feel it was?

I don’t mind people touching or kissing the baby’s hands... but full on coating them in saliva just seems disgusting. And odd. And bloody disrespectful to carry on with if you know the mother isn’t ok with it.

But I’m a first time pedantic mother so happy to be told I am wrong and overreacting.

Any immunity experts? Any MIL advice?

Your MIL certainly doesn't appreciate she could well have bacteria in her mouth that could be harmful to your baby. Okay immune system does need to be exposed to germs but not the kind in MILs mouth en masse.

It ISNT usual. A bit of gummy nom nomming maybe, or letting the baby suck on a finger, but that finger needs to be clean (ds used to suck anything in sight like a lamprey)

A while hand in someone’s mouth is foul. Mouths have more harmful bacteria than loo seats. I’m not going to click on the links given above but people are aware of just how dangerous human bites are right?

Komodo dragons kill by just biting and wandering off- they have a mild venom but what kills the prey is raging septacemia from the bite.

Your MIL needs to be told.

I reaction topnan is the MIL...

No wonder so many kids today have asthma and other immune system problems, looks like there’ll be a mega increase in the near future

As a scientist I can assure you that covering a baby in mouth germs is not going to help their immune system to stave off allergies and asthma. That’s not how it works. It is however likely to transmit various strains of s.mutans that could affect the baby’s bacterial flora and set them up for tooth decay, as well as cause problems of there are even tiny open wounds on the skin. Please don’t do this.

A healthy baby has predominantly its mothers bacteriome.

Komodo dragons kill by just biting and wandering off- they have a mild venom but what kills the prey is raging septacemia from the bite.

Not actually true.

www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-06/animal-fun-facts-does-komodo-dragon-really-kill-bacteria-filled-bite

Yes they have a mild venom too, as I said, but they are not something you want to be bitten by. The bites are notorious for developing raging infection.

Mouths have more harmful bacteria than loo seats.

Given the choice between kissing someone and licking their toilet bowl, I’m going to guess that 100 percent of people will choose option A.

Oh wank. That’s why my kid has asthma, no one bothered to dribble on their hands.

Dear God some of you talk some shite.

Next time she comes for tea,wait until she sits down the lavishly lick her cutlery then put them down in front of her.....the plate too unless you've warmed it first and just say,here we go,just boosting your immunity.with a big smile.😊

Does she realise that her mouth has more germs than a dogs & children at 4 months put everything in THEIR mouths. Strange woman

I don’t think this is a big issue. My baby shoves her hands in everyone’s mouths...

Seriously though... I remember the chicken nugget thread...

why don't you just move?

You've got years - YEARS of them.

No better way to set out your stall than to just fucking MOVE - a. away from them and b. to a house with no tie to them.

Karmastar

Seriously, consider moving. They’ve got you beholden with the land and the house.

I’ve just reread your chicken nugget thread and you sound like an extremely reasonable and calm person. Life is too short for this shit though. It’s time for some boundary setting. And change the locks because they will just cut another key if you take it back.

My mil is moving to our town this summer. :/

She is ridiculous and should be kicked out of the mil club bc she gives them (me someday) a bad name.
It is perfectly permissible to pull your baby out of her (and disgusting mouth) and wash him in front of her.

I hope that your dp isn't that stupid.
P.s. that "3 second rule" has been proven just as stupid.

The weedkiller thing is absolutely horrifying. Not just that they did it, but that when you pointed it out and asked that they washed their hands, they laughed and just ignored you.

I agree; given the history, I'd either move or state that they can't visit when DH isn't there, because as you say, the fact they behave so differently when he is means that they know it's not okay.

I posted on your chicken nugget thread. I'm sorry they're still pushing!

In answer to your question earlier OP: this will settle down once your MIL has accepted that you're not going to roll over and acquiesce to her.

How long that will take is as long as the proverbial string, and it'll sap your energy as you reinforce every. Single. Boundary. - But speaking from experience, it's worth it. Especially for your DS's sake, he doesn't need to grow up seeing Granny treating his Mum with zero respect.

I'd love to know when babies should be exposed to gp mouths, what age.

With dd summertime born I wasn't sooo paranoid about gems but winter born dd I was... By following the winter when she was one, whilst still upping hygenie in winter I felt she was was that bit bigger and stronger...

Do some posters chuck every thing at teeny babies then?

fwend it may settle down but... This is a woman who was kicking up a stink because op was at her mums following the birth.. And yet she knew op would be living on site in weeks. Awful. Personally someone who has such immature attitude etc... Doesn't bode well..

fizzy

Imagine how many Mil issues would be solved if their sons said something firm like that you'd never hear another Mil thread... I would add however.. ' and don't you dare blame what I'm saying to you on silver... This is me.. Your my parents and ok starting to feel ashamed of myself you, this is Me your son talking.'

As a soon to be mum of two sons these threads always remind me of what NOT to do as a mil.
I intend to be helpful, kind, respectful of boundaries and bring my sons up to being loving, kind people who are capable of independent living!

Absolutely Sersiouly - I agree with you. It doesn't bode well at all. I think OP's MIL is a controlling nightmare.

Trouble is; what do you do? Hold out for clear, consistent, reasonable boundaries, or go NC, or just let her have her own way?

I went for option 1, and just wanted to let the OP know that it's doable, even if it feels like a cluster fuck at times.

That's just fucking gross and it sounds like she's deliberately stomping on your boundaries. I'm not surprised it upset you. Next time she does it take the baby off her.

What did I just read ! I can’t even begin to understand why your Mil thought that was a good idea... sounds a bit bizarre 😂

Meh. I guess I have a thick skin about this kind of thing. It’s weird, don’t get me wrong, but I’d shrug it off.