To ask if only my DC does this and what to do

[ginplease8383]

DD is 3yo and ‘strong willed’ (I know what this really means). Today I took her to Tesco’s to buy a cupcake to attempt to bribe her with throughout the rest of the day and she picked up various items as we walked around and I asked her to put them back and she did. Cue the kinder egg stand and because I wouldn’t let her have one (a cupcake was enough) she lay down in the aisle to the aisle and body popped around in protest and then lay there rigid shouting ‘you’re not my best friend’ and kicking me as I tried to get her to stand up. This was hard as I had 18 mo in a buggy starting to stress out. I can’t carry DD as she’s massive and when I put her down she just bolts back.

AIbU to say it’s only my kid that does this? I genuinely never see other children do this

At home I dealt with it by distracting her or sometimes just leaving her to work through it whilst I get something else done or sort out her sister. But if I do this is public it’s not practical aibu to ask how I deal with this???

Yeah the walking away only works with some three year olds, mine would pick himself up and run in the opposite direction if I tried that, or hide. Such fun.

You aren't alone.

DD1 had an epic tantrum in the supermarket once, right in front of where the trolley's go. She was lying on the floor refusing to move, rigid, kicking and yelling. I can't even remember what it was about but I do remember thinking that it was quite possibly the worst day of my life! DD1 is now a student paramedic.

I've helped mum's who have been struggling with toddlers, whether it's been to help them pack their bags or hold onto a pair of toddler reins while she packed and paid. I've held trolley's still and fed feet in and I've talked to kids who have been yelling and asked them what's wrong - normally they are so surprised at a stranger talking to them they stop yelling and just stare at me! I then tell them that I don't like shopping either but we need to get food for dinner. It often works.

Hang on in there, it gets better.

Working in a supermarket this happens about 10-20 times a day, I think us staff are immune to it now

The “you’re not invited to my party” started! I responded with “you won’t be having a party only girls that behave themselves have a birthday party” and was met with yet another floor protest.

Nursery don’t help with the sweet stuff. They serve pudding twice a day!

DD was like this. DH refused to take her out alone when she was 2 because if she had a meltdown there was absolutely nothing he could do.

She is now nearly 5 and I have to admit is the most well behaved child you could ask for.

Don't think it was anything we did. DS on the other hand was super easy at that age is now 7 and totally melts down when things don't go the way he is expecting.

Clearly we are destined to always have one challenging child

Every time I'm told "you're not my best/friend" I consider it a parenting victory. I'm not here to be their friend 😆 that said when they're older and have moved out I'll be happy to be more of their friend. Until then I'm their parent! And yep have been through the tantrums. In fact DD aged 8 has just stomped up the stairs and slammed the door because she was asked to tidy up. Silly girl! Early night for her, more
peace and quiet for me 😆

GinDoll- well yes I agree- not their best friend!

3 year olds are challenging much worse than the terrible twos! She’s getting more and more complex. What happens when they are four?

I once asked a lady walking by doing her shopping to step in.

“Excuse me. I’m not getting anywhere here. Can you tell my son that if he doesn’t get in the car nicely I will get arrested for not looking after him properly?”

“Young man. Your mother is trying to keep you safe. Let’s get these car seat straps on this minute.”

The shock on his face, he got in his seat, let her fasten him in and we drove home.

I think for so long I’d tried to stop people seeing me struggle, but the opposite approach worked!

Beware of distracting another's child, we were on the bus and a young child was kicking off in the seat in front of us. We're both around 70, OH started pulling funny faces and the child started to giggle, this led to a calmer journey. As they got off the child waved to us, OH waved back and the Mother called him a f*ing pervert!

Oh yes I remember this well. And feeling like the only mum in the world who had this 😂 but It passed. And the nasty comments from older people- why do the minority do this? Most are lovely but I've been followed round the supermarket by one real cow who after she saw my dd2 collapsing deliberately as I held her hand walking so it looked for a nanosecond like I was dragging her which I wasn't - the older lady shouted at me all round the supermarket till I ran home in shame and sobbed- great for child welfare if that's what she was so called worried about. We've all been there anyway in one form or another and all sane people understand !

Supermarkets are the work of the devil with small children. I swear it's all the bright lights and noise that makes them even more tetchy

My DD, who is also 3, also has epic tantrums. No kicking, but lying on the floor crying hysterically as though someone has died. Like your DD, she would also merrily pass for a 5 year old (I blame DH, who is 6’4”). We had one a couple of weeks ago because I flushed the loo (she views this as one of her tasks). Same if someone else presses the button at the traffic lights or if you try to zip up her coat (it was 1 degree yesterday and she was dressed as though it was May, despite my and DH’s cajoling, bribing and best efforts).

DM brought DN round on Saturday, who is also 3. DD and DN are the best of pals and love each other dearly but after 3 hours of playing happily BOTH had a tantrum at the same time. DM and I couldn’t decide which was being more awful! DN got bundled off home and DD had an hour of ‘quiet time’ (aka Cbeebies - not superb parenting, I know but if it works...).

Apparently, I was also ‘strong willed’ and used to go rigid in my buggy. It will pass...eventually. Hang on in there