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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A man just shouted at me in the street

622 replies

Dallia · 21/02/2018 18:18

“Why are you wearing a curtain?”

I kind of smiled awkwardly and carried on crossing the road to him shouting “oi, you, I’m talking to you!”

I was absolutely mortified, lots of people were watching but no one said anything.

Why do people do this? He seemed like a “normal person” and it was really intimidating. He turned back to look and I thought he was going to start following me. Has anyone ever had weird random things shouted at them in the street, or is it just me Hmm

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

OP posts:
RaspberryRipple63 · 21/02/2018 19:26

TimeIhadaNameChange. Your experience with the bloke asking you to sit on his face reminded me of a funny line in a book I read a few years back. A girl of about 16 was walking down the road with her mates,when a couple of blokes from their year at school walked past on the other side of the road. One of the blokes shouts out 'Oi Abby,come and sit on my face'. She replied 'It looks like someone already has'. I've always kept these retort in the back of my mind in case it was needed. But fortunately it hadn't.

HotelEuphoria · 21/02/2018 19:27

Sorry op, but I would also suggest he had MH problems. Yes he could have just been rude, but you know I would give him the benefit of the doubt, on his own, shouting strange rude things out in the street, well it isn't normal is it? What does looking normal mean?

littlemisscomper · 21/02/2018 19:30

This thread is appalling! It's only happened to me once, but then I've had a very sheltered sort of life. It was maybe 6 or 7 years ago and I was shopping in town with my mum, a bunch of lads about my age (early 20's or late teens) passed me and one of them shouted something along the lines of 'Look at the fucking conk on that!' and turned to stare at me while walking backwards. I do have a big nose but nobody has ever mentioned it to me before, and this was a totally random attack by a stranger! His friends all just seemed 'normal' and embarrassed and hurried him on.

I guess these people just have mental health issues in one way or another.

Timefortea99 · 21/02/2018 19:31

I am blessed/cursed in the chest department and have always been self-concious about it. I always tried to make them look smaller when I was younger. I got a lot of comments about them - random blokes, all ages, builders, van men etc.

The only one I found vaguely amused by was two tramps in Covent Garden. I walked past them and one of them said Keeping abreast of the times I see. Which was practically Oscar Wilde compared to the usual comment.

In work there is a very senior manager who never looks me in the eye - always chest level. He was having a meeting in a soft seating area in our open plan office and just at the moment I went by he said it has all gone tits up. I think this was directed at me, although the 2 people he was talking too were not in on it. I could not prove it, and it might just have popped into his head at the same time as I walked by, but the staring and then that comment made me want to knew him in the bolocks.

lightoflaluna · 21/02/2018 19:31

Ignoring and pretending you haven't heard is definitely the best way forward ime. I like to think i've left them feeling like Alan Partridge in the "DAN! DAN! DAN!!!! DAN!!!" car park scene.

Namastethefuckawayfromme · 21/02/2018 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drspouse · 21/02/2018 19:35

I have also been randomly punched in the face in the street but as this was in a country with no mental health services and the puncher was a man in a loincloth with dirty skin and matted hair - I quite rightly assumed he was an unmedicated psychotic and didn't take it personally.
Bloody hurt though. On the cheekbone it was.

ginch · 21/02/2018 19:35

When I politely declined the offer of a dance he walked off shouting "fucking lesbian" over his shoulder. Presumably because it was the only reason he could come up with to explain my reluctance. Male pride is a fragile thing doncha know.

misscockerspaniel · 21/02/2018 19:36

Seriously, are we supposed to assume that all these men have MH issues? That women need to make allowances for them?

Timefortea99 · 21/02/2018 19:37

I remember being on holiday with my family in Greece. This group of British lads walked past and one of them said I would put her on the spit and roast that. I thought that meant I was a fat pig (I wasn't fat) and it affected me for years. Stupid. Only recently did I realise it was a sexual comment, which doesn't make it any better. All the shocking because quite feasibly my dad could have heard them. I was mortified and ashamed, I was only 16 or so.

UgandanKnuckles · 21/02/2018 19:37

I remember some arsehole in a white tracksuit giving me dog's abuse as a teenager walking to school one morning. Little did he know I'd just bought a bottle of Tizer and I'll let you guess what I did with it...

FluffyMcCloud · 21/02/2018 19:37

A man shouted "psycho lesbian bitch" at me from his van once. I was literally just walking down the street. Like he was literally filled with rage because he thought I was into women and not men. I'm not a lesbian but that's by the by, I have been told several times (always by men, obvs) that I look like a lesbian, makes no odds to me, I like how I look and my husband knows I'm straight!

I really, really hate the "cheer up love" or "go on, give us a smile" that I get all the time from male strangers. Fuck you! Who are you to tell me to fucking smile?! I generally just say "nope" and walk by. Ugh.

Andromeida29 · 21/02/2018 19:38

So sorry OP and to all of you who have had experiences like it. My normal reaction now is just to shout expletives at the top of my voice. I was crossing the road on my way to work when one bloke started leering at me from his cat and started saying thing. I reacted almost instantly with a very loud "go fuck yourself", the look on his face was priceless. I also had it one Saturday morning when two blokes drove past jeering at me. Shouted the same. I'm just sick of it happening. It's not particularly eloquent or clever but I don't really think they expect a load of loud abuse back. Always slightly nervous though in case the become violent.

Billben · 21/02/2018 19:38

And also a bloke in a pub grabbed my arms (bingo wings) and said “I’ve seen less wings in a KFC”. Charming.

Your reply should have been: “Fewer, my dear. Not less. Fewer.”

PerfectlyDone · 21/02/2018 19:39

It's not random.

It's shitty behaviour, misogynistic shitty behaviour.

chirpyburbycheapsheep · 21/02/2018 19:40

Seriously, are we supposed to assume that all these men have MH issues? That women need to make allowances for them?

I totally agree. I have 'mental health issues' and manage to be very polite in my day to day dealings. In fact I have chosen not to write about the one time I was abused by a man with obvious mental health issues as I feel he was a vulnerable person rather than simply a total wankbadger (to use my favourite MN term)

Mybrows · 21/02/2018 19:40

Someone once shouted 'FAT!' from a car and raced off laughing with his mate. It upset me because I got a fright but after I'd got over that I did laugh a bit that that was the best he could come up with.

UgandanKnuckles · 21/02/2018 19:42

and only on this fucking website could there be 5 pages of women sharing this kind of experience only to be told the men doing it must be mentally ill 😂

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 21/02/2018 19:42

I think a lot of these men have to find their dicks with a magnifying glass tbh.

Jaimx86 · 21/02/2018 19:43

I live by a very busy junction (always have - moved houses to an adjacent street) and pull out of it at least twice a day. Visibility is tricky due to bend, but I'm good and quick at pulling out as soon as it's safe. Today, the dickheads behind in the van thought it'd be fun to beep aggressively everytime I didn't pull out - if I could've, I would've as I was in a rush. They continued to honk until I pulled out.

As I'd already been on the road that morning, I knew their was a speed camera van just around the bend. As soon as they pulled out, they sped up to (I imagine) intimidate me and drive close behind. As I was doing 28/29mph, I KNOW they were caught by the speeding van! GrinGrin

Couldn't help giving them a wave once they'd gone past. Hope it gets them a hefty fine.

TerracottaAmy · 21/02/2018 19:46

I've just remembered, some years ago, I was out running with my son, we were training for a 5k. There were some women shouting and laughing at us from their car. I shouted at them, at least we're out exercising you lazy cows.

They had the grace to look shamefaced.

wewentoutonsunday · 21/02/2018 19:46

A few days ago some young lads in a parked car shouted 'get your tits out' at me. I walked over, asked them if they had said something. They denied it. I repeated back what they had said to me, to show I wasn't intimidated and was actually quite angry with them.

As I went to walk away, they shouted at me to calm down. Didn't like being confronted, but happy to shout out while I was walking away. Cunting cowardsAngry

Emmageddon · 21/02/2018 19:47

I remember the 'fucking lesbians' insults hurled at me and my friends in our teens, when we weren't interested in the boys leering at us. Poor men, unable to accept the fact that we found them grotesque and unattractive for any other reason than the fact we were "gay".

Andromeida29 · 21/02/2018 19:48

Poor menz can't help shouting at women can they? I'm sure some people who shout at others do have mental health issues but the vast majority of men just have a shitty entitlement issue that make them believe that it is ok to subject women to this crap. Another thing I really hate is how women at automatically go "but I was only wearing x,y or z". It has nothing to do with what we wear. It's a power game to them. We are not to blame.

Dallia · 21/02/2018 19:50

Good on you terracotta!

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