A man just shouted at me in the street

[Dallia]

“Why are you wearing a curtain?”

I kind of smiled awkwardly and carried on crossing the road to him shouting “oi, you, I’m talking to you!”

I was absolutely mortified, lots of people were watching but no one said anything.

Why do people do this? He seemed like a “normal person” and it was really intimidating. He turned back to look and I thought he was going to start following me. Has anyone ever had weird random things shouted at them in the street, or is it just me

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

lineofduty I don’t believe ‘all men feel entitled’. I am lucky enough to know some wonderful, thoughtful caring men who wouldn’t dream of shouting at a women never mind anything worse.

My experiences of verbal and physical abuse has been split on racial lines. The catcalling out of vans or vile comments - white British males. The abuse with touching - i.e rubbing my bum, leg - or them wanking beside me on a tube train (!!) Asian men. I am not trying to carry on the race derailment, just stating a fact. The former has been more prevalent.

Someone chased me on the street shouting "if my daughter dies, it will be on you!"

She was carrying her daughter in her arms. Apparently she was asking me for money but I had just finished work and I was not paying attention.

Fair enough @Timefortea99 - your experiences are your own. What you're not trying to do is apply a blanket interpretation to the problem.

I've had quite a few vile commons many times from ugly little pricks. Last year I had just crossed the road at a pelican crossing with my teenage daughter when this car pulls up. I thought he was going to ask for directions as the passenger window went down but instead he roared the most vile abuse because he had to stop at the crossing to let us cross! He was beeping loudly at us as we crossed but I thought it was at someone else it didn't register it was at us! He called me and my daughter a pair of selfish fucking cunts because he had to stop to let us cunts cross the road! He threw a few more obscenities in and ripped off! I was so upset I cried when we got home. He wasn't a young guy either he was a 50 something foul mouthed wanker! I was so shocked by him at the time I just stared at him I wish I had given him a few words.

@kissmelittleass that's appalling. Ifvthat ever happens again, get your phone out, record and send to the police. A zebra/pelican crossing is as sacrosanct as a red traffic light.

it's freezing
how canto unwearable a maxi dress
i'm wearing ten coats

If you are shouted at in the street or get hassle from any idiot who yells abuse from his car, simply hold up your hand in a light fist, thumb and forefinger extended about a centimetre apart. That always works. I think it's a power thing they do and any indication that their genitalia is probably undersized will get them to move on.

The worse thing for me was a couple of years ago when I was in late 40s, a group of Neanderthals in their 20s were sitting on a wall in my local High Street and they saw me coming (wearing jeans/jumper - not that that makes any difference) and one of them said I would smash that, with a bag over the head obviously, but yes I would smash that. That verbal comment felt like a punch in the guts. I felt so ashamed, God knows why. I think these comments we get are just so nasty and vile, it takes your breath away. At that moment I wish I could have taken his breath away, permanently.

Lineofduty I guess you're a police officer or something, so your experiences are probably different from everyone elses'; festinger's theory of cognitive dissonance really interests me, but I am failing to see how any of the posts here relate to that theory, please enlighten me.

@beachcomber767 I'm with you but equally there is a fear that you never know if your act of defiance will cause you more trouble. I think that's why in a lot of cases ignoring feels safer.

Seems that the erectile dysfunction treatment isn't working for these poor, deluded creatures. Either that or they must feel somewhat frustrated when they try to play pocket billiards and their groins begin to purr...

Just to clarify - poor, deluded creatures are the men who shout out at women.

This is mine... white van men pull up when walking with DD in her pram. 'Excuse me love dya know the best way to Oldham?' I start oooing and errring, yknow, really thinking about it, looking up and down the street as if it would magically appear.
Then he goes 'best way to hold them is like this' and tried grabbing my chest before driving off.
I stood there and cried at how they'd made me look and feel stupid. I also felt incredibly selfish to have brought my DD into this fucking god awful world of cunts.

I've mentioned this before but there was the man who came up to me as I was quietly browsing in a charity shop and loudly criticised me for wearing wedge shoes 'as you are tall enough' and wouldn't just let it lie, asking why I did it. Went on to tell me about his tall GF (he has a GF?!) who 'only wears flats, SHE would never draw attention to her height, she's embarrassed by it'
For the record, I'm only 5ft 9 in bare feet... hardly sky scraping..and these were low wedges so i didn't even break 6 ft

(oh and I'd still wear heels / wedges if I was a foot taller)

@alltoomuchrightnow and so you should!!!

Where do you all live? I’ve lived in the US for the last six years and never experienced anything like this. In the UK, though...

I've had a few of these. My standard response is to tell them to shove their two inch dicks through a meat mincer.

I used to be in London. It seems better in the south-west of England!

For the record I was wearing a stripy maxi dress as I was on my way to get a spray tan. Really wish I’d had a witty comeback.

You should have shouted back "Ah pull yourself together" :)

@SofieMonde ahhh the oldies are the best!!!

I have found quietly asking if they have a mum or sister and if she minds being treated this way often takes the wind out of their sails; personal without the challenge and hopefully some of them think on (deluded I know!) If having the horn blown for a perceived driving issue at a junction, I like to put the hazards on, get out and ask in my best girlie voice if there is a problem with my car and the nice man is trying to tell me 😁 I like to think the bloke who said "cheer up luv it might never happen" never said such a thing again when I informed him of the truth, I was just on the way to identify my Fathers body. Other times I am less mature, you have to feel safe and ignoring is often the best....people with issues don't need an answer and bullies are looking for a response.

Hotcrossbunfight the only response to people abusing you in that manor is this.... 'I can lose weight but you'll always be a cunt'. Shuts them up every time 😁

I feel bad taking the credit for the joke as I saw someone else had made it before me sawry