To ask why you co-sleep?

[mummsyy]

I am genuinely interested, I have DD3 who has only ever slept in my bed once and that was last month when she was sick in her bed during the night so brought her in with me.

Currently pregnant with DD2 and I see a lot of people talking on FB etc of how they co-sleep and how amazing it is.

So if you do co-sleep, why? I was always under the impression it was dangerous but it's so common surely it can't be that bad?

Dd1 was a scbu baby and as a result slept in her crib from the day she came home.
Dd2 was a different ballgame and the only way to get sleep was to cosleep. However it has quite literally saved her life on 3 occasions in the last 5 months as she has been very ill and been taking temperature spikes and a febrile convulsion and thrown up thick mucus without waking up if she wasn't beside me I dread to think what may have happened.

You find you get in tune with them. If you do it deliberatly and 'properly' then it really is safe.

fallen blossom I feel same.
I never went as far as Gina but even baby whisperer book was one step away from my natural instincts. I definitely left her to cry too much.

With second it was co sleeping cot. She slept right next to me for about year half.. No issues going into own cot in bed later on...

It was so much more natural and easier... Felt right and no getting up in middle of the night. Many adults don't like sleeping alone but we expect tiny babies too. I feel being near parents, breathing etc is comforting to them

sycamore sleeping and breastfeeding is simple: you lie next to the baby, put your arm in an arch above baby's head and they feed from your breast. This prevents overlaying and rolling over, it's physically impossible to do so whilst in this position. You still wake quite frequently as you're more attuned to the baby's rhythms.

For me it had to be co sleeping cot, I couldn't fully sleep with her in bed, as soon as she was in her own space I could sleep

Because neither DS1 or DS2 would settle in their cribs as newborns and it was the only way to get some sleep. Also, feeding lying down helps you both to get some sleep. It has never been something I wanted to do long-term though. I worked at getting both to settle in their cribs after night feeds when they were 3 months-ish. DS2 is four months now and still comes in with me feeding back to sleep if he won't settle in the crib which tends to be after 4-5am.

I co-sleep with DD who is nearly 10, and have for years. I wish I had done it when she was younger as it would have meant less years of sleepless nights.

We started because she simply struggles to sleep alone (and we tried everything. For years). We know now that she has ASD and some mental health issues and sleep is a big problem for her. Co-sleeping means that she has less anxiety, which means less chance of a mental health crisis, and in the short term we all get more sleep. DH and I dont lie in bed panicking that every noise is her opening a window to jump out of, or that if we sleep too heavy she will try to escape.

It's not ideal but I do worry that the years of pushing her to sleep alone only made her anxiety worse and if I had co-slept earlier she might be happier now.

Honestly, the research does show it increases risk, so there is some low risk, but it's a risk that many of us choose to take (some by pretending it isn't a risk at all).

I did it for a few months (albeit using a co-sleeper) and now do it sometimes. It's not as safe as having the baby in your room on their own surface, but if they are unsettled, it can help them sleep, and I do it in such a way that I cannot physically roll, because my baby is on my arm. My baby also sleeps like a rock, and though is capable of crawling, just lies there I'm the crook of my arm, reliably. Neither of us go anywhere.

I don't think it being the traditional way, or nature's way, means it's safe - infant mortality (and that of animals) was very high.

It is sometimes snuggly and gives better sleep though. And although it is a 'risk', it's a tiny risk. Being less knackered in itself lowers other risks - ie in driving whilst exhausted, so I think accepting some degree of risk is something we all do, it's just which risks we accept...

Safety also. It is proven safer to Co sleep in a planned way than to fall asleep with the baby unplanned. I was worried about the latter far more yhan I worried about Co sleeping.

Another one who did it out of necessity to get some sleep in the early days of bfing. It's been a massive part of our bond. Especially for my husband who is out of the house 12 hours a day.

this time round I'm springing the cash for a really good rocking/feeding chair that I can nap in whilst holding DC2
sorry but that sounds really dangerous. The chance of you moving position/dropping the baby is greater than in a bed. And the chair will not be a flat surface which makes it more dangerous than a bed. Falling asleep on a sofa with a baby is known to be dangerous so I don't see how a chair can be better. As I said earlier, I fell asleep in my nursing chair and only woke when he started to fall.

Seconded - avoid napping in a chair cradling a baby at all costs. Much better for baby to be flat on it's back on a firm flat mattress. I used to sleep in recovery position on my side with my arm curled round the top of baby's head and my top knee drawn up so I wouldn't roll. I'd cover my torso in a cellular blanket or wear a thick jumper and a thicker blanket from my hips down.

Oh I missed that - I agree with PPs - please do not do this! A chair of any kind is the most dangerous place to fall asleep with your baby, even if you're only in a light sleep or it's not for very long. Better to nap in a spare bed if you don't want to use your own bed, perhaps put the money towards a bedside cot?

This recent thread stuck with me - the OP was discussing an advert she felt encouraged unsafe practice and mentioned several scenarios related to accidental death of infants during shared sleep in a chair/sofa (she'd come across these professionally.) Fair warning for content though.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3086448-AIBU-complaining-about-an-advert-trigger-warning

DD wouldn't let me put her down in the first few months.

Also made breastfeeding easier
I love getting snuggly
I love waking up with her
I know she's safe
I have a 1 bed flat

Still co sleep at 2 years old.

So lovely to read all these responses. Where do all baby mammals sleep? Cuddled up cosy with Mum. It would be very bizarre for them to sleep in a corner on their own. Lots of different benefits if you google Its a western idea to put them in another room, lots of other countries where co-sleeping is the norm.

It didn't work for me, both of mine slept better in their own room. They sometimes did sleep with me when poorly.