To ask why you co-sleep?

[mummsyy]

I am genuinely interested, I have DD3 who has only ever slept in my bed once and that was last month when she was sick in her bed during the night so brought her in with me.

Currently pregnant with DD2 and I see a lot of people talking on FB etc of how they co-sleep and how amazing it is.

So if you do co-sleep, why? I was always under the impression it was dangerous but it's so common surely it can't be that bad?

Once I'm asleep I don't take kindly to being woken up and I definitely don't want to move from a horizontal position.

Dc are 4 and 2 now and still come in if they wake in the night, this is not ideal I admit, but sometimes they do it without disturbing me at all which is a win as far as I'm concerned

@muffyduffster

Mine are all 2 years appart.

When new baby arrived. I would move toddler between my DH and I. So we had empty side cot then baby, me, toddler, DH in a super kingsize bed, in that order.

They move to their own beds around 4 years old. Before next baby arrived !

It's not dangerous done deliberately and safely.

I didn't go sleep with my first children age 13 and 11. I starting CO sleeping with my 5yr old when she was 2 and love it so decided to co sleep with dd3 age 1 from birth. It's been amazing.

The bond is incredible. I believe it is the best thing.

I believe babies close to mum and sensing mums breath is safer.
I believe she feels more secure and calm.

I AM so glad I done this and I absolutely love it. We travel Alot and its so much easier. My eldest 2 are fussy and need dark rooms and quiet to sleep. The youngest sleep anywhere with me, travelling is no issue at all.

I think we survived so long by CO sleeping that it must run deeper with connection and saftey than we realise. Plus its still the norm in many places.

I always stress it was a choice from day 1 not a last resort.

Bloody hell Seeinthedark, was he ok?
I'm another who did it because it meant we both got more sleep. I also felt that, as adults, it's comforting to sleep in a bed with someone else, so why wouldn't you share your bed with a tiny person who needs that comfort and reassurance?

Just because it feels right. When they were very tiny I had a Moses basket and later cot right next to the bed. As they got bigger they wanted to snuggle up with me and vice versa. I only had short 12 week maternity leave so spending the night curled round then was a comfort to me as much as them. 23 month old still spends 4 night in 7 co sleeping - he goes to bed in his room, if he wakes around 3am he comes in.

Comfy and cosy. Also easy, learning to feed lying down was a game changer and something I'm glad I mastered with #1.

I am a co sleeper myself although not until past six months - agree with what everyone says about the closeness, everyone getting more sleep etc. However I do feel that it's important to say that co-sleeping is not entirely safe even if you follow the guidelines. Layover remains a very real, if small, risk. As a social worker I've been involved in real tragedies where parents did not realise how tired they were, thought they would wake up but didn't. People do need to be aware there will always be a level of risk.

I don't think I could have breastfed otherwise.

Laziness.

Closeness

Until #3 came along #2 would still come in pretty much every night in the early hours, he's nearly 6. And grrrrreat to cuddle. We never discouraged him when #3 arrived and made sure we had enough bedspace for everyone (the 7.5yr old rarely comes in but just in case) but I think the nosy one put him off.

I find it a handy excuse to not have to DTD with DH as it feels weird

Because my child has disabillities and refuses to sleep on his own (nearly 8) every time I try him he comes trotting in at some point in the night , that said we are very close and I love feeling his cold little feet under my arm at night .

What interesting responses! Didn't expect to come back to so many.
By the sounds of it, it's definitely something to look into!
DD1 was a terrible sleeper but never crossed my mind to research co-sleeping as what I heard it was dangerous!
You lot have gave me a lot of food for thought for DD2 and may be coming back in a few months time to express thanks for more sleep ha.

Didn't do it with my first as I was told of all the dangers and it was so hard. I'd had a c-section and it was agony getting in and out of bed all night. Ended up bottle feeding just so his dad could help with night feeds. He would wake up constantly and I was always shattered. I had PND and think the lack of sleep made it worse.

Second I co slept from day one and it was much easier. Both me and baby slept properly and although i had PND again it was no were near as severe as it was with the first.

Because I honestly couldn't sleep without them touching me and they seemed to feel the same. I felt a physical need to be able to touch, smell and comfort them as much as possible. It felt entirely natural. I found it distressing to hear them cry and they cried when I put them down, so I did everything I could to avoid it.

It was also great being able to feed and sleep at the same time especially seeing as our youngest was still breastfeeding through the night until she was well over 18 months.

I have had 5 babies and the only sleepless nights I've had are the ones I was in labour for. I coslept in the hospital and the midwives just tucked us in. I can't imagine how I would have managed if I had got up every time they needed me.

None of them spent a single night in a cot or Moses basket and all went to sleep in their own beds by 2-3.

I don't see any problem with not doing it though. Whatever gets everyone the most sleep is probably best.

@Babieseverywhere thanks! That's a brilliant shout. I didn't have a side cot, currently sleep with toddler on wall side of bed so I could have baby on my side 🤔 might need to go shopping...

AlcoholicsUnanimous he had a urine infection and a very high fever, which can cause convulsions in babies. He was up and about after 12 hours or so but it was awful. Don't think I could sleep if he went back into his bedroom.

My two year has just started wanting to sleep in my bed with me and I'm finding it hard. He wriggles and moves around a lot and snores. No idea how people can enjoy cosleeping.

Co-sleeping uninetentionally is dangerous. I was so tired before that I was in danger of falling asleep holding him on the sofa. That's dangerous. When I realised this I purposefully co-slept to the guidelines, was much better rested and it got rid of the risk of accidentally falling asleep with him somewhere unsafe like the sofa. Some studies show SIDS risk is reduced by safe co-sleeping as babies temperature and breathing are regulated by the mother's. But you MUST follow all the guidelines. I believe all the tragedies have been by those that have not (often drink or drugs) and stats of co-sleeping incidents include those that have happened sleeping on sofas which skews things.

I co-slept during bf but not great sleep for me tbh so evicted asap. Most working parents I know co-sleep as they say they get maximum sleep and don't have energy to sleep train

Because my DS was colicky and would only ever sleep, day and night if he was in contact with me.
I hated it, I was beyond stressed about it because I also had all the 'dangerous' stuff shoved at me.
Once I researched it a bit more, I relaxed... I also had an amazing midwife who didn't make me feel like crap but told me what she had to say and then advised me on safe co-sleeping practices.
It did make feeding in the night loads easier cos I just flopped a boob out without moving 🙈 😂

It's not dangerous if you follow safe co-sleeping guidelines.

I co-sleep because I'm breastfeeding and my baby feeds several times a night. With co-sleeping, I wake as soon as he stirs (so usually no crying and no one else gets disturbed), I latch him on and go back to sleep within a few minutes. I get so much more sleep this way - plus the night time cuddles are lovely. I also like that if anything was wrong with him eg a fever, I would notice very quickly. It seems so unnatural to me to put a baby in a completely different room.

Only done it when hes been poorly.

I absolutely detest it because I just cannot sleep because he wriggles literally all night long.

Get more sleep by a bigger bed. We have a super king and no wriggling bothers me x

I coslept with ds2 when he was a week old because he just wouldn't fucking sleep! I'd gotten to the point where he'd been attached to my boob for about 4 nights and screamed when I put him down and then I had a toddler to look after in the day. It was awful.

It's not dangerous, it's normal (and was the norm for most of human existence).

I did it with both DSes (still do, they are 5 and 20 months). It's the only way I was able to get any sleep.