To ask why you co-sleep?

[mummsyy]

I am genuinely interested, I have DD3 who has only ever slept in my bed once and that was last month when she was sick in her bed during the night so brought her in with me.

Currently pregnant with DD2 and I see a lot of people talking on FB etc of how they co-sleep and how amazing it is.

So if you do co-sleep, why? I was always under the impression it was dangerous but it's so common surely it can't be that bad?

Because we all got more sleep.

It was easier for feeding and meant I could safely go back to sleep rather than risk falling asleep in a chair

I had anxiety and wanted him close to me

I loved the cuddles

I love having my baby girl in the same bed as me, she settles me and I settle her. She does have nights where she tosses and turns but I figure she's easier to settle when she knows I'm there than if she was alone in her cot.

Ds1 and 2 never co slept except for a few minutes early morning cuddles/dozing.

Ds3 (9 months) goes into his own cot at bed time, in our room, but at least half the time makes his way into our bed for a large portion of the night. The only reason is breastfeeding - if he wakes, 2 minutes of side boob (lying down) and he's asleep again and so am I

So I’m not up all night feeding.

DS1 went from Moses basket to our bed. He didn’t sleep throughuntil he was a year old.

DS2 same went from Moses basket to our bed/cot in room next to ours.
When he’s teething/ill/cluster feeding he’s with me but when he’s sleeping longer than a hour he’s in his cot.

It means no drinking & sometimes going to bed early as I find it’s not a proper sleep. But it does seriously help.

I'm also one of the rule-abider with first child and I lost sooo much sleep with our first sat up in a (very comfy but still!)poang chair getting her fed etc! Bloody waste of time and energy! I'm not sure when we realised we could just co-sleep, probably around 12-18months out of sheer desperation/sleep deprivation. So with my second I did not even try any other way! And I never looked back :)

We slept more! He could just feed without me having to get up. Works fine as long as you do it safely.

Obviously it doesn’t work for everyone. And it can work or not depending on age - we got to a point where he was wakingvus and himself and from there it was into his own bed. But I’ll do it again, I can’t be arsed getting up ten times a night. Roll over - proffer boob, drop off again.

I tried for the first few nights to get the baby to sleep in a crib and every time I put her down she'd wake up and scream. I wasn't happy leaving her to scream so the only way either of us could get decent sleep was to have her in with me. My poor husband is on the sofa every night as we're both on the large side so there isn't much room for him too but the dog's glad of the company downstairs!

When ds was in his cot it was an occasional thing if he was ill or restless. Then I got him a bed and he just started coming in. Now when I say bedtime he just goes and gets in my bed. Any attempt to get him in his own results in screaming tantrums and I just can’t be arsed to listen to it.

I didn't plan to until one night when ds was 17 months I went in to his room and found him unconscious, floppy and covered in sick. I heard some tossing and turning but didn't hear him being sick or anything. He wasn't ill during the day either. I don't know why I thought to check on him but I'm glad I did. He gave me and dp such a scare.

I have terrible insomnia & it was not as bad if I did minimal movement when I had to wake up in middle of the night. Sometimes I could doze off while still feeding.

I didn’t have to move to bf at night. She had reflux and wanted feeding every 20 mins round the clock and I’d had enough of getting up each time. Hour long breast feeds are so bloody boring at night let alone having to get up every single time.
Put her in her own room at 6 months. Still in own room but I do cosleep if h away simply because it’s easier knowing she’s ok plus she lays in in my bed so I get to sneak out and get ready before her at weekends! She’s 4 now

1st one slept with me for all the reasons given above, and also because we had a 1 room apartment at that time. I could put him in the cot after he fell aslepp, but he always woke up again so after a while I just put the cot away. When he was 2 he got his own room and although I was expecting drama, he went there happily.

2nd & 3rd babies had the option to sleep with me as I was expecting them to be the same as the 1st one, but neither of them took to it - didn't fall asleep when feeding, just wanted to play, but fell asleep easily when put down in the cot. Happy days.

I coslept with mine in her sleepyhead whilst she was breastfed, she comes in with me now if I can't settle her immediately in the night with a back rub (she's 14 months). Expecting number 2 and don't know what I'll do as my back up when newborn arrives

Because DD is the cuddliest of all cuddle monsters. She sleeps in her cot until 4-5am then comes in with us and snuggles in, it's bloody heavenly!

So I could actually get some sleep. So I could feed throughout the night without getting up. Because snuggles are lovely. Because if I'm there I know if my baby is breathing or not.

This.

Sometimes you just have to ignore the "health professionals" who have to give guidelines for the whole population including those who might drink / smoke / take drugs etc while caring for a newborn.

Because when the 4 month sleep regression started my daughter literally would not sleep without me at all. I was sitting up in bed holding her all night and only managing to get 2-3 hours of broken sleep a night. I felt completely batshit. A friend recommended that I research safe cosleeping and give it a try, so I did so and lo and behold, she only woke to feed twice the whole night. I got my sanity back and stopped arguing with husband all the time. She's a much happier baby and naps more easily in the daytime too. It saved us.

After a very traumatic, near fatal, delivery of DD (now 16), I couldn’t move without assistance for several weeks and it was just easier all round if we co-slept.

After 10 months, she settled better on her own, so we moved her into her bedroom. She’s never been one for joining us in the night, other than for a quick cuddle and reassurance during her younger years.

Once out of NICU, I actually started co-sleeping with DD in hospital (we were kept in for a week) with a lovely midwife offering advice as she’d predicted how immobile I’d find myself. It worked really well for us all given the difficult start we’d had.

If you want to look at a scientific perspective see the work of Professor Helen Ball and James McKenna re co sleeping.

Co sleeping is the biological norm.

Also my 3rd child has seizures. Good thing I already co-slept because from that point onwards there was no way I would have let him sleep in another room!!!

I coslept because we both got some sleep but i have a question for other cosleepers. I'm expecting my second and dd is still in bed with me. She won't sleep alone. How do you manage having a 2.5 year old and newborn?

Because I really wanted to. It just felt too much to have this little newborn anywhere other than next to me.

We had an amazing Cosatto Close To Me bedside cot which can be raised to the same height as your mattress, and tucked right up to your bed with the side folded down under the cot, so it becomes like a side car. So baby has its own bedding and its own 'space' which you cannot physically roll into. Our DC both slept in it until they were nearly three (not at the same time, but one after the other, of course)!
So easy to night feed, warm and cosy, not having to 'properly' wake up, and just snooze off again when they're done.
Grizzling? Just reach your hand out for a little pat of reassurance, back to sleep.
Tendency to want to check positioning, breathing and temperature in the night? Easy peasy.
Co-sleeping is super nice.

It wasn't planned but it became normal from day 1 to co sleep, since Baby was 3 Months she's slept through the night and it a great sleeper now at 14 Months.

I'm the type of person who can't roll unless I've had a good sleep! Co sleeping let me have my rest too.

My HV was very against it. I asked her in the early days how I could get my baby to sleep in a cot because she just wouldn't. Her answer was, 'well if you have to stay up all night holding her you'll just have to.' I ignored that 'advice.'

We co slept safely with DS1. He fed a lot (was quite small at birth) and it was the best way to get any sleep. DS2 was v premature and spent a long time in hospital and so got used to the cot. I still co-sleep when he’s unwell. He sleeps better next to me when he’s under the weather and it’s easier.
DS1 went into a cot without too much fuss and DS2 transitions back into his cot too.
I come from a co-sleeping culture as well so it has always felt more ‘natural’.
I am however not a very hippie mum otherwise and I am quite strict and so on and I don’t particularly attachment parent. Kids have a strict bedtime and so on. But within that framework I don’t mind co-sleeping if we all get better sleep and they are less anxious.